Venus Square Neptune – Delusion In Love – Part Two
Venus In Pisces, Neptune in the 7th, Venus in the 12th, All Virgos and Virgo Risings, Venus In Aspect To Neptune)
Catch up here – Venus Square Neptune – Delusion In Love
So what are some common examples of Neptune affected love relationships? The number one way to obscure reality so that fantasy can thrive is to access to the beloved be denied in some way. The keyword or key concept for Venus Neptune is “divine discontent” so if you want to get some of this fine pain going, it’s easily done in a number of ways. Here are the top 6 Venus Neptune picks:
- Pick someone married.
- Be heterosexual but pick someone homosexual.
- Pick a priest, or any other unavailable religious entity.
- Pick someone in prison
- Pick someone drug addicted or otherwise highly compromised.
- Pick someone who lives 1000 miles away.
For Venus Neptune all of these situations provide plenty of opportunity to pine and sacrifice. In all 6 situations, forming a reeeeal relationship is all but impossible. This is critical to Venus Neptune because the goal is to avoid mundane reality in relationship.
If someone is going to lie around and pine for their married lover, they are not apt to visualize the hair left in the sink when they leave the bathroom, or the dirty laundry the person will generate. Instead, Venus Neptune can focus all their energy into imagining… well… anything they please. This is the appeal. A love so grand, you can only imagine it.
Once the relationship is established, the if only, if only, if only starts up..
“If only the governor would pardon my boyfriend!”
“Is he locked up for triple homicide?”
“That’s just a detail and besides, he says he didn’t do it He was railroaded!”
Al-Anon meetings across the land are filled with men and women with Venus Neptune in their charts. If only he/she would stop shooting up, drinking and snorting and stealing and lying and, and, and…if only, he/she would see how much I love them, w could live happily ever after in the land of “a perfect union” where the partner is always tender, never cross, both parties are completely fulfilled and at peace every minute of the day.
No farting. No cluttered surfaces. No relatives. No body fat. No burned dinner. No dirty kitchen floor!
So how does it come undone?
Well, how can it NOT come undone?
Venus Neptune has magic, but sheesh – this is a tall order. The beloved certainly can’t deliver and surprise of all surprises – either can Venus Neptune! They cannot live up to their own myth.
Venus Neptune postpones this scene as long as possible but eventually they cannot “paint” fast enough to cover all the “bleak” and their castle built on sand starts to crumble.
The cycle can take a few weeks or months if the rest of the chart is highly mutable. If mostly “fixed” then it can take a year, two years, or even a lifetime but ultimately, the veil drops and now the Venus Neptune person is devastated.
How could you do this to me, they cry. After alllll I did for you! Drat! Foiled again! Stuck with yet another mortal! ARRRRRRRRRGH, why does this keep happening to me????
But what about the partner? Yesterday they could do no wrong. Today they are thrown out like trash.
Er…who is the victim here?
Venus Neptune bumper stickers… can double as Country Music song titles 
“Will Sacrifice For Love”
“The More I Love, I More I Ache”
“Ask Me About The Love I Never Got”
Do you have Venus in aspect to Neptune in your chart, Venus in Pisc
83 Responses to “Venus Square Neptune – Delusion In Love – Part Two”
but LOL @ the fantasy versus reality. I’ve fallen prey to idealizing happy couples, and have Jupiter trine Neptune. I’ve had to remind myself of all of that, and then wonder if any man would really want to live with me, or I, them.
I have the square. Boy do I ever.
Excellent, excellent post Elsa. Thanks!
My Venus/Neptune has experienced #1 (twice), #3 combined with #1, and #6.
During all these experiences I continued to read about Venus/Neptune and realized I was going at this the wrong way. I stopped chasing after impossible love and the real thing kind of just fell in my lap. 
I have Sun, Venus, Neptune and Jupiter in Scorpio in the 12th. This is the story of my life. If only real life was as wonderful as the life I live in my mind! I’ve always wanted what and who I can’t have. Not to mention the secrets, secrets, secrets. . .
Why is there a picture of my future husband up there …
… ohhhh sooooo yummy …
… thinking ….
… thinking …
… oooohhhh is that what you mean?
Does venus in the 12th house count? Because that all sounds vaguely familiar. By equal houses, venus is conjunct my 12th house cusp by 32 seconds, but in my 11th. My first hubs was emotionally unavailable, add to that my saturn sq. his moon. Add to that, he was never physically around, always off chasing his dreams (I made plenty of excuses why he’d be back to me and they were right). That’s how it last so long (8yrs) but once we married and were together, reality came crashing in. Or maybe that was all due something else,
Angie
That is one hot picture…I will Venus-Neptune him any day!
Well, I guess that’s good news, too bad it took 8yrs to see, then another 10 in hindsight to figure it all out. Thanks neptune, I don’t think I’ll ever see this stuff straight! But damn the dreamy side was nice, I could still float on that all the way from here,
Angie
Hmm, this almost fits me. I have Venus in 12th, Venus trine neptune and Neptune conjunct the moon. And a Virgo sun! But the thing is, I know a partner will disappoint me. And worse, I know I’m likely to disappoint them.
This really hits home, Neptune in the 7th opposing my Sun, Venus, and Moon in the first. Nevermind the squares it makes to other planets… sometimes I swear I’m happier living in my fantasy land dreamworld than actually being with someone – tho even in my dreamworld I end up pining! Bleh, yeah thanks Neptune! haha
I’m learning to overcome, transcend, but man, fantasy land is such a happier place!
And when that veil drops and shit hits the fan, man oh man, not a pretty sight. The work it takes to deal with these aspects is worth it in the long run, cause when that veil drops, its seriously horrible, especially when you realize you were the one who put the veil up in the first place.
@EtheralSoul….. tell me about it! I have almost the exact situation in reverse. Neptune in the first opposite Venus in the seventh. My Sun and Mercury are there too. So much Cancer. Cancer Sun, Venus and Mercury in a Cancer seventh house. I don’t think Capricorn rising can knock any sense into any of this!
Aries moon cracks the shits and makes the most stupid impulsive moves.
Hahaha, Petra, good one 
)!!
Angie
Square, Venus in Cancer and Neptune in Libra.
Yes I do build castles in the air romance wise.
Does the effect end after a certain age ?? that is do I grow up?
9th/11th houses (Placidus)
I hated having transiting Neptune squaring my Venus. I still feel the urge to pine though, which is stupid. I don’t have it natally.
I don’t. But my friend I mentioned yesterday on the first post on this, he has Venus trine Neptune. He married a woman who had severe mental problems. Severe. He has now found a new love and is head over heels.
Wow Elsa yup. Venus in 12th inconj Neptune in 7th and moon conj Neptune from end of 6th. With a Pisces sun. Lol what fun deep and awesome uhhhh till the veil drops that is ;(
I have Venus and Neptune in aspect. My SO often thinks I’m in my own little world. He has Saturn in aspect to my personal planets, so he has more grounding than I do and helps ground me with little reminders when I’ve flown off the handle.
Hmmm…on second thought. I have a Taurus intercepted 7th house with Neptune in Libra. Does this count?
This is great and after listing all the aspect that fit this post I wonder what happens when two illusionists get together?
Say a venus 12th with a neptune in the 7th. Do they stay deluded forever together or is that when the love hate axis kicks in?
Good question Daisy!
My husband and I both have a Venus Neptune and a Venus Uranus sig and we stay happily deluded with space…:)
Hey, everyone!
If I have Venus Semisquare Neptune does that give me a shot at rising above this?
Oh, and #2, #5 and #6 for me…
my sun virgo squares neptune and my love’s sun (virgo, as well) is conjunct venus — is that how, in our composite horoscope, venus squares neptune? in any case, we have this aspect (in the tenth house, sagitarius) and now i’m kind of worried that this relationship with someone whom i love very much will just crumble and dissipate into unreality? that sucks.
things have been great. we laugh a ton and eat good food. after a year of seriously dating, we moved in together recently. i hope we’re not doomed. i guess this is the point where I buy a composite relationship report 
.
check. i’ve done three of the six up there. it got surprisingly unfulfilling for my saturn venus
(oh, all the gay guys i’ve fallen for… wow.)
trciky to be neptoooney in a real relationship though. i’m having a bit of a time trying to figure it out.
I don’t have this aspect, but I do have Neptune in hard aspect to mars, which causes me no end of problems in terms of self-motivation and delusion and disappointment surrounding my lack thereof. In my experience, hard Neptune aspects seem infinitely more difficult to get a handle on than other outer planet aspects like Saturn or Pluto, where restriction or pain is an overt part of the energy.
My question is: what strategies can one take to try to work with Neptune energy to mitigate its more destructive effects on a personal planet?
I have Neptune conjunct Venus and Mercury in the first. I feel like it’s more that people project their illusions onto me (or do I do the spell casting . . . see so much delusion I can’t even tell who’s responsible!
It is too hard to think about what you’ve written when you post a picture like that one!!
Good lord, this answers the questions about the last gent I dated. I sure did like him. He sure liked pushing me away even though you couldn’t find two people with so much in common… :\
He still calls on occasion. Not really sure why?
As a gay guy, the guy in the picture is hot!! LOL.
D..similar situation here too! What’s up with that? We have Neptune Squared in our progressed composite(our dreams don’t match OR do we have the ability to make our dreams come true? OR we made our dream come true but it was a delusion? OR one of us had a dream, and was delusional, the other deceitful?)Interesting that he has the same with his current relationship.
We also have Neptune Quintile Venus (his Neppy in the 5th mine in the 2nd) AND Neptune conj. Neptune (his in the 5th and mine in the 11th). I would say there is some real creative dreaming and scheming going on here and not in the romantic way. : (
That pic made my day. yummy.
Venus in Libra in the 9th sextiles my Neptune in Sag in the 11th. There are more aspects involving Venus and Neptune but let’s just say I can completely relate to this post.
The idea of a relationship or a person seems to be much more appealing than the reality.
I feel like I’ve finally “overcome” my own rose-colored glasses way of looking at relationships through my marriage. Unrequited love is exhausting.
Frankly, having a realistic outlook and expectations of someone and your relationship is way more satisfying and has less drama.
Uh yeah, I have Venus in Pisces in the 7th, opposing and squaring everything. I feel very doomed in love and doom is very romantic. Looking into convents, we’re also quite the martys!
Why is Virgo like Venus-Neptune, I wonder?
Is it because Virgo likes to serve? So would Venus in Virgo tend toward deluded love?
Ah, thank you, Elsa! Makes sense.
Excellent post.
I’ve done #6 and at that only once but it caught me for years. venus pis. and neptooooon 7th.
What I can’t figure is why I get accused of #1. A lot. When I don’t flirt, keep my head down and nose to the grindstone. I can’t figure the astrology of that. But I just got blindsided by someone thinking I’d stolen their boyfriend from them 10 years ago. Mind you I wasn’t interested in him and didn’t date him until more than 5 years after they broke up, when he and I both had grown up. I just don’t get the why of it all.
#1. Married. Yep. Well, he was engaged at the time and hid it from me, but after I figured it out I was so in love I couldn’t end it when I should have.
Drug Addict. Yep. Another thing hidden from me. For both of these I say hidden, and they were trying to deceive. But underneath I knew. I’m a smart girl and my spidey senses were tingling….I didn’t dig hard enough or deep enough.
Long distance romance. Yep, did that one too. Twice…shame me twice…
Venus in Taurus, in the 12th. My daughter told me today she thinks the married man ruined me.
I just want to be fascinated, is all. When I was younger, I never stopped to wonder whether I was fascinating.
i could add many more scenarios to that list…
i wonder if there is really anything to do about it if i have neptune all over my chart & i’m 46, & still single
Hi Elsa, I have Venus and Neptune conjunct in my 1st house Scorpio. Yes!! Everything you wrote & then some – truth. I am also practicing a generic kind of buddhism many years now and think this conjunction is a kind of fuel that I have to work with all the time. I always have the disappointment of shattered illusions to make peace with internally. Over many years I think this has led me to be someone far more forgiving,compassionate and accepting of my own imperfections (and others). That’s just a piece of my life (and setting limits is also a big one), but it’s def the Venus Neptune piece.
I have a Pisces ruled 7th house and Sun opposing Neptune as part of a fixed grand cross. It’s taken me a while to manage that tendency – I’m now 52! I recognise that when younger I would definitely confuse the relationship with seeking after something divine. How can any man live up to such expectations? Once I got that nailed my Venus in Gemini got in on the action. I think wherever Gemini is in the chart you have a tendency to try and be in two places at once so when younger I wasted a lot of energy nurturing the possibility of a second relationship (rather like keeping a spare handy?). This is exhausting even if it never goes anywhere. There is a great quote: ‘If you live more lives than one more deaths than one you die’ – how true.
I’m the one with Merc sextile Neptune, so that rings a bell when I see how you and your husband make things work … with space. That’s what’s missing from my world. I knew what I fished for when I fished and would … love more space for Christmas.
Good view, Elsa:0
I have Venus in Leo (9th) Square Neptune in Scorpio (1st). Oh, how I hate it. Weirdly enough, I haven’t picked any of the guys from that list (My Virgo Sun is too practical and my Scorpio rising seeing all the BS too quickly) but I do tend to end up with types that seem to be too “safe” – like almost like being with the male version of me so it too comfortable because it is easier – no drama (well not none but less) and easy to talk to. I mostly end up with Libra types which I end up boring relationship – until the relationship end than my evil Scorpio comes out and lets them have it. Looking back at those relationships I realize that i put up with too much that most people probably would not have put up with – not anything like drugs – mostly money issues where I end up doing more than my share or lazy men who have all these “projects” they want to do for a living but never do it. So it is like I keep pushing the stuff that bothers me aside and accept it – thinking I am being too picky (I am a Virgo). How I love any love that isn’t real – like movies or novels. I have a 17 year pine going on – I pine less and less as it has been 17 years since I have seen the pine-ee and I try to be realistic but part of me always wonders – could he have been the one?? I also have conjunctions and sextiles to my Neptune and I think keeps me from the really “bad” Venus/Neptune choices. But I still pine for movie love – anything that is otherworldly and escape from reality. And I still see others with rose-colored glasses – they always seem so much better than they really are and I tend to convince myself of this but than having Neptune in the 1st – THEY also do this too -they form a fanatsy image of me which is not like the real me and I have to fight to convince them who I really am. So I have a double problem with Neptune!!!
I’m new here, but I have Venus in Pisces (11th house) square Neptune in Sagittarius (7th house) and every new man in my life I have ALWAYS put them on a pedestal. Go figure. I try Lord I try. Thanks Elsa, very good at pointing these things out.
I definetily have this issue, and I now have learn to sort of accept that its all in my head. But what if the guy you are involved with also has a neptune-venus aspect? I have a moon/mar/venus (pisces in the 11th) squared neptune in the 8th. He has a venus/pluto conjunction in the 8th trine neptune in the (sagittarius)… I have been trying to find the logic in how we relate to each other. But there is none!!! It doesn’t make sense and it does feel very much otherwordly. Funny thing is he does live thousands of miles away. He travels all the time, his family is on the east coast he lives on the west. I am on the east coast but I am planning to move out west… any thought?
I respectfully offer you this take on my synastry of Venus (Leo) Square Neptune (Scorpio). Take a Leo guy who has a really big ego, thinks he is a sexual dynamo and meets a Scorpio Lady who is very good at what happens between the sheets or anywhere else for that matter. They get married. Leo expects the wildness to continue but Scorpio has just had a baby, does the housework, and after sixth months of maternity leave returns to work. Leo is looking for the pre-marriage sex and when it does not return in full technicolor believes that the Scorpio (Neptune) has changed, i.e., got him now !!!! and with a couple of babies to boot. Scorpio feels maligned for not being the sex-goddess and sex becomes a duty for her and an obligation he imposes. Not good.
Venus square Neptune is VERY common in the charts of homosexuals. Not a definite indicator, though, because this and other Venus-Neptune aspects are quite common in the charts of the musically, poetically talented. This is everywhere. Check it out.
Oh, and just a remark or observation.
I would not necessarily believe something that’s “everywhere”. People cut and paste like crazy these days and the info may not have been very good in the first place.
Oh, I could go on for weeks, have been following Astrology for 45 years. Pleeese, could we put an end to this “evil Scorpio”, “Scorpio: the eagle and the scorpion” garbage? It is abundantly clear that Scorpio is a very, very narrow sign in life outlook. Its extreme focus and concentration may, in individual relationships, appear to be some extra-special sex, emotional dynamic, but this is way off. Narrow, focused, concentrated: the exact opposite of promiscuous, all over the place etc.
You folks, most of you, need way more insight. Scorpio – read the bios – has produced a very large number of America’s best-know comics. Broadcast and other media: same thing. How come pretty much NONE of you ever see this?
Nice. An actual reply (don’t get too many). I’m cutting and pasting nada; just going by charts I’ve seen, though even the late Ms. Rodden had quite a few problems in her work. My mother also had Venus square Neptune and LOVED priests, as well as anyone she ever worked for who seemed prominent. Got so much stuff you won’t want to hear it, but will continue if you like. Just hearing what you already believe is not a good thing for making those brain cells expand.
Venus in Leo square Neptune in Scorpio. I said ‘no’ to all six scenarios, and COMPLETELY FORGOT that I married an alcoholic/drug addict. That’s Neptune for ya.
@EtherealSoul “When that veil drops, its seriously horrible, especially when you realize you were the one who put the veil up in the first place.” So true, ‘seriously horrible.’
@Elsa “what about the partner? Yesterday they could do no wrong. Today they are thrown out like trash.”
It goes both ways. My partner also had me on a pedestal, and then I got thrown out like trash; in fact ‘thrown out like a piece of garbage’ is how I say it to myself. I still can’t comprehend it.
Thank you Elsa, this post is spot on. I have Venus in Virgo in the 1st house squaring Neptune in Sagittarius in the fourth. It’s not been fun!! Any suggestions on working with this energy? Is what they say true – that if I divert it towards something else (like, art, spirituality), it can help me not to be deluded in relationships? Or what else can Venus/Neptune people do to live a better life? Thanks.
Lately living with my square makes me feel I’m losing my mind. I see deception everywhere…i have high neptune score natally plus neptune part of grand square.
I go back and forth regarding what i want love wise. I always attract unavailable types or choose unconsciously falling in love with them. It never fails…
As neptunian I do have psychic abilities. But I want to live in reality. How do you balance those two?
I have neptune square his venus and mars although everything else in our synastry chart is highly sexual!! Problem…he is married. The sexual tension between else is unreal. He is a cancer and I am a scorpio. Is there a chance he will ask me for an affair. Cancers are usually very faithful.
could you please respond in your column? Thanks so much to this BURNING question!
Welcome, susie.
If you post your chart, along with your question on the boards here: http://boards.elsaelsa.com/ Someone is sure to weigh in. There is a section for astrology-based advice.
smh
Moon/neptune/Venus here. I specialize in the long distance relationship. My sub-specialty is mental illness. As in “Hey, I didn’t notice you were bipolar/Boderline/drug addicted. Hard to notice that since our relationship has been bi-coastal from the start. It doesn’t matter. I will stick by you and love you anyway. Even after you wreck my car. Again.”
Also this one ” So what if we have no sex and you’re impotent. I don’t need to have sex with you. We have it in my mind more than enough. I’m completely satisfied. I swear! *smile*”
*rolling eyes*
Imma start using my Saturn a WHOLE lot more.
I have Venus/Vesta exact in Cap (love is sacred, yanno?), square Libra Neptune. And yes, I can cop to many of the classic symptoms, and in spades.
But I also have Venus opp Saturn, so I can’t even get to enjoy the illusion without that old nag Saturn constantly drenching me with cold fear right from the get-go…
My Venus Neptune aspect has caused me plenty of heartache. I’m not the type to call and gush but I will definitely pick a man to save. I just ended a relationship where he isolated me, stole money from myself and my dying father and told all of the secrets I finally entrusted to him (Scorpio sun) to anybody with ears. I haven’t given up on love but after this crazy ride, I am looking to step out of line for awhile. It has become entirely too exhausting
I’m guessing that Venus conjuncting Mars in my 8th house and also squaring Neptune does not make this whole subject any easier for me
I have Venus in Virgo 12H, conjunct Mercury sq Neptune. YAY for me! I don’t even know where to begin in my story of dating but it’s been a long, crooked and painful road..
I also have Pisces on the Descendant. Not sure if this adds to misery or not.
Great. I have Venus in the 12th square Neptune. You’ve describe basically all my relationships and I see no way out of being me. Still waiting on the prince to break me out of – or at least break into – my castle.
We have similar astro. Feels like a curse, no? Was married 11 years to a closet-gay man. Reconnected with a now-married ex love, and then fell for a guy who lives 1000 miles away. Nice.
I have a taurus accendant and have a venus in aquarius in my tenth house sqaure neptune in scorpio in the seventh house…..u are right… dissapointment in love is a trademark of this square. but can u tell me does this curse (sort of) ward off after any age?
My Venus in Libra(2 house) squares my Neptune in sag. (5th house)
Sun in Virgo – tick
Venus in Leo (12th house no less) – tick
Venus square Neptune in Scorpio – big tick
When I began to discover what this is all about it made so much sense! Secret drug addicts. Heavy drinkers with bad childhoods. Accidentally falling in love with cheating men from the otherwise of the world!!! The only way I am dealing with this is leaving behind the last one (the heavy drinker with no empathy possibly due to childhood trauma) is to forgive and forget ASAP and rejoice in my sensitive art and music loving nature and trust I won’t be fooled again….. Am such a romantic it hurts!
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I’ve picked someone that wasn’t local – twice – and both times, I hated it. I swore off it after the first one; the second was in my life much longer, and seriously considered buying a house on my street, and finding a job here – but he had Venus/Jupiter square Neptune. I hate pining. But it had also hit me that there was a certain safety in it – I need my own space, but also wanted him closer.