Divorce Rate Plummets During Recession

The Denver Post reports that the divorce rate in Colorado has dropped dramatically since 2009.  Prior to the recession home values were soaring here like everywhere else. This allowed a couple to sell their home and use the profit to start their new independent lives.  Home values have dropped roughly 30% since. Many people have little or no equity in their homes so couples are choosing (or being forced) to stay together for financial reasons.

Astrologers would point to Saturn (limits) in Libra (money) to explain this.  People who are partnered enjoy more stability and financial safety and this raises an interesting debate.

Some would say that money is a horrible reason to stay together but if you think about this on a deeper level, there is potential benefit here.  For one thing, people who constantly leave and leave and leave rarely end up in better circumstances 20 years down the road.  Also, there is something about depending on another person and having them depend on you that can knit people together and enrich them both.

Working together towards a joint goal is very rewarding and often people who do stick together and weather a storm are glad once it’s passed.  There is also something to be said for showing your children that problems can be worked through and the idea you can just churn through people and houses indefinitely was probably not realistic anyway.

We discussed this on vacation and I equated it to being stuck on a job. What if you ARE stuck at a job?  Some people may be miserable and make the people around them miserable but others might recognize the reality of the situation they’re in and grow in some way that allows them to feel content. They may learn about transcendence for example, or they may cherish the time they are not at work and enjoy it like never before.

Ideally, no one would ever suffer but in the real world, something happens to everyone. You may get sick or you may get injured. It may be your child or your spouse who gets sick but something eventually happens to everyone. Most people think there are no accidents so why not look for the silver lining?

Do you think there may be an advantage to be financially dependent on your spouse?

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Comments

Divorce Rate Plummets During Recession — 19 Comments

  1. Well, back in the “Good Old Days” that’s exactly how it worked… you were financially dependent on your spouse… & people DID really put their backs into making it work & building a better life for themselves. I know there were other “slight” factors, such as divorce being difficult… & almost UNheard of, but still….
    I have to think about this some more….

  2. I understand what you are saying. And I agree, to an extent as far as a universal level. Yes, I do see benefit in this. Although, I don’t know that I would completely blame Saturn in Libra and leave Pluto in Cap out. I think that is what really started the ball rolling here. It was more of a breakdown in corporate structure that caused the decline of the housing market. But that’s a rant I’ll save for another day.

    As for the financial dependence on a partner, I can’t get swallowing that past mid throat on a personal level. But if anyone is thinking that these 50 year marriages where the old sweet people are still so comfortable and in love all happened because there wasn’t a period of time when they didn’t have any choice but to work through their problems versus cut and run (because it wasn’t so easy then)..well then, that’s just delusional. They happened because people were, in a sense, forced to come together and work things out either from social obligation or financial restraints.

    So yes, in the realm of family dynamics and relationships..this can be a good thing. For me, I don’t know that I could adjust to being financially dependent on anyone. I just don’t think I have it in me. I’d be destitute first..but that’s my personal issue.

  3. Josi… I’ve noticed that we have very similar charts and I have to agree with just about everything you’ve said here. Also, Saturn in Taurus would be a financial factor in the divorse rate, but I think it’s more a factor of finally getting some manners in play with our personal relationships with Saturn in Libra. One thing as a Libra sun, neptune and Jupiter that I have noticed and really appreciate of late is the way newscasters and reporters are so careful to thank each other, right there on camera, and show what I consider extreme appreciation for what they are doing and the work they have put into their reports. If nothing else, it gives our children a really good example of how to treat others, in every day life… saturn conjunct mars in cancer 6th house working there. :-)

  4. I can see the point and agree that some people would benefit from learning by being dependent on the other. It seems sad to me that they don’t have a deeper relationship.

    As for the job part. I’m trying really hard to make the best of it, I feel stuck at my job. But when the company keeps screwing with our heads, one minute saying we matter and the next minute no one listening… ulgh. It’s really hard some days. But like so many say, recently most loudly Oprah, share the love.

  5. No, I think it’s a serious error to be (or feel) financially dependent on a spouse and I’ve seen the truth of that around me. Financial dependence can lead to feelings of resentment, poor self-esteem and a sense of feeling trapped. I think the reason our parents and their parents stayed married for eons was due to having a strong family/community support system–and the social stigma, of course, in divorce. I see this to be still very true today in ethnic communities, much less so in non-ethnic families where the norm is for singles and couples to live far from their families.

  6. Great post!

    “Working together towards a joint goal is very rewarding”

    This is my partner and I’s belief–that joint goals are the most important aspect of our relationship. I have Capricorn Moon in aspect to Venus; he has a 10th House Venus. It creates a feeling of cohesion, working together. I love it. It’s also what was missing in past relationships.

  7. Speaking as someone who was financially dependent on her spouse for many years, I can say from experience that it proved to be DISASTROUS for me; and a constant source of stress and anxiety. I don’t recommend it for anyone who wants real security.
    My ex-husband’s sense of self-importance was destructive to his relationship with me, and even with his kids. While “working together toward a joint goal is very rewarding”, I would think that both partners contributing in equal part would be paramount. No spouse that is the primary breadwinner will EVER view their partner — or any contribution made by them — as an equal; no matter what their non-monetary contribution is.

    I have seen this phenomenon that you’ve pointed out here, Elsa; wherein couples are forced to stay together due to the economy; but it doesn’t necessarily mean that the marriages are strengthened by adversity. While this could be the case with a couple who’s cut out to endure, and somehow remember that they loved each other once; I find that it’s driven their desire to stray, underground. There are a lot more guys looking for ‘friends with benefits’ and ‘daytime hookups’ to get their kicks, while leaving the marriage intact; ’cause it’s “cheaper to keep ‘er”. What I’m saying is, just because they’re having to stay married, doesn’t mean that the marriages are healthy. Our bad economy has not cured immature people of straying in search of ‘the bigger, better deal’, they just don’t have the freedom to persue it openly; anymore.

    I think if the marriage existed in a vacuum, it’s going to be more likely to fail; whether that’s out in the open or on the ‘down-low’.

  8. I agree that being given a reason to stay together rather than cut and run can be good. I think it’s always beneficial to put the work in. However, I’m in a situation that I think is not uncommon, where one person is putting in effort and trying to work toward a joint goal while the other person is not engaged. It takes both people in a relationship to put in the effort and feel like it’s a worthwhile invesent… one person putting in the effort alone can’t make it work.

  9. Although I think it is commendable when people work through tough times I think there are times when relationships must end. They have either served their purpose or they are stagnating which is just another form of death IMO. I think of a relationship like a garden. If you don’t tend it, weed it, etc it will die. However sometimes you just can’t get those vegetables/flowers to grow.

  10. BTW, from the people I know the bad economy isn’t keeping them together. Indeed, it is making these people want to end things and move on.

  11. I know 3 couples who are staying married (living under the same roof) simply due to the economy being bad. It’s a fact to them and their kids that mom and dad are only together because they can’t afford to move out. From the outside looking in, it gives off a very strange set of vibes – particularly since these couples do not “socialize” with others (e.g., barbecues, parties, etc.). The kids accept this is the case, but I honestly don’t know what they are feeling or thinking…

    “Financial dependence can lead to feelings of resentment, poor self-esteem and a sense of feeling trapped.”…..unfortunately, I’m the poster child Anna..

  12. A big, fat NOOOOOO! That was me. It’s still me until I find a job after being home with the kids for 16 years – at his insistence. He wanted me under his financial thumb so he could abuse me and assume I would have to take it. I did take it for a very long time because of money, but now that I’m out, I can finally look forward to a happy future. This only works if they LOVE each other on SOME noticeable level. I compromised a lot in that marriage and it didn’t make a damn bit of difference because nothing was ever good enough. That man does not feel love. He will always be a jerk. How unbearably sad to be in a loveless marriage.

  13. Every night my grandmother prayed the rosary that she would die because of her miserable marriage. She endured 45 years of it before she got her wish.

  14. loveless marriage..
    As much as I’m against such an arrangement..sometimes, that type of arrangement works out well for some people. It twists my mind. But for some, it works just fine.

  15. Jeannie, I’m so sorry for your grandmother. That is just not right. Being truly loved is such a basic need that it is not optional, regardless of what our society may try to trick us into thinking. Being in love changes your perspective, whether new or from 30 years of marriage. My ex-husband’s grandmother was still looking for her “true love” in her 80′s. She never found him and that is very sad. Anyone who appears okay with being married to someone they don’t love is just fooling themselves, or you, or both. It doesn’t have to be crazy, brand-new, can’t-get-enough-of-you love, just love, somewhere in there! Having just lived through this situation, I’m a bit vocal about it. Like Annie says in “Overboard” – “My life is like death…and you’re the Devil!”

  16. Well it’s true. Eventually you have to stick to something.

    On the other hand, I got some money and the first thing — and I mean the FIRST thing — I did was swim straight up to the surface and out of my crappy marriage. There’s destiny in that too sometimes.

  17. Great posts… I can so hook up to everything that’s been said here. I’m out of my loveless marriage now and am also now financially independent. So I can see the merits of staying because you ‘have to’ financially, but it is indeed, as someone alluded to, a slow death if you have to stay. I have PLuto in Leo in the 7th, and this is the second time I’ve had to ‘rise from the ashes’ of a loveless marriage. Not fun…not easy… but worth it.

  18. I also have Pluto in the 7th, in Virgo, conjunct Uranus, with Leo on the cusp. Also my second divorce. I am currently trying to meditate on how to use those energies to have a happy, solid marriage for a change. With Saturn opposing them, I seem to attract loser-bullies instead of the stability I seek. For one thing, I have to go older than me next time – whenever it happens! My Aries Sun is always ready to start again, and my Pisces Moon is forever the romantic!

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