I was talking to Jason last night about relationships and we got onto the topic of elemental communication and how someone can be telling you something (with their words, with their actions) but if they aren’t speaking your language, you may tune them out.

It made me think about the time my best friend gave me the tomato.

She’s a Cancer with a Taurus moon. She is notoriously “thrifty.” (She has to be, her Sadge rising spends all her money on plane tickets.)

Well, anyway, a couple of years ago I had a birthday party. I had decided to take responsibility for my own happiness at that point in my life and threw myself a get together. I invited some family members and a couple of friends to dinner. I told everyone “NO gifts, please. Your presence is enough.”

My sister, who has Venus in Pisces said that was pathetic and there was no way she wasn’t getting me something. She went on to describe some fake fantasy birthday party where I am left presentless crying in my cake and how she couldn’t bear the thought of it! (Even though she was thinking it.)

Other people brought cards.

Then my friend shows up. She takes off her backpack, reaches inside and pulls out a little bundle of hand dyed cloth. I know it’s hand dyed because I was there when she did it. She made a lot of it for a class. She put it in front of me and said “happy birthday.”

It felt weighty. I undid the simple knot at the top and and let the corners of the fabric fall. It was a single perfect tomato.

“I got a bunch of them this morning at the farmers market.”

“Thank you, it’s beautiful.”

Ignoring the fact that I asked for no presents, the two of us have a history of giving each other modest gifts (except for the time I got her the deluxe shot glass chess set, but I considered that an investment in everyone’s fun. It was 8 dollars on sale. Worth. Every. Penny.) To me the tomato was an expression of our shared values and a celebration of our friendship. I really did appreciate it.

After dinner, after she left, my mom said “What was the deal with your friend and that tomato? That was odd. I think she might have been smoking dope. Who does that?”

Have you ever given/received a very personal gift? What did it mean?

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