Communication Today (Now That Saturn Has Left Virgo)
Astrology in real life.
Sometimes I have to sit on a concept I am exposed to for awhile in order to distill it. Sometimes in the middle of this process I am exposed to a second thing that piggybacks on the first and complicates things for me. Usually I have to decide if I have one concept or two and since I have Libra that can take awhile. I also have to decide if I should present the ideas together or untangle them. In this case I am going with “untangle” a month after the fact.
I was talking to, Ben some weeks ago about some communication problems I was having. I had transiting Saturn conjunct my Mercury at the time. It’s a transit that gets you in trouble when you open your mouth so I was trying to learn what I could so that I could avoid further slapping down if you know what I mean. In whatever case I thought his response was elegant.
He said he thought people listened to my words rather than my message and this does not just pertain to me of course. But his point was that people were listening for keywords they could attack, words that might not be PC for example, or words that validated their reality and failing to look at the whole of what was being said. I hope you can grasp what I am saying here because it’s a big deal.
You can’t hear someone with a whistle in your mouth, waiting to blow it and I think this way of being is out of vogue now. It’s very Saturn in Virgo, see? Communication police.
With Saturn in Libra we want to have discourse and for that you’ve got to put away your schoolmarm calipers and come up with some grace and consideration for others. You have to make some allowances and if you are not willing to do this, don’t be surprised when no one makes allowances for you.
Do you listen for words you can pick apart or do you try to hear the message?
25 Responses to “Communication Today (Now That Saturn Has Left Virgo)”
I’m guilty as charged, but working on not doing it.
I can hear the message but I have way too much Virgo and Gemini in my chart to ignore syntax issues, lack of clarity, missing words, etc. I’m patient with people whose first language is not English but not so patient with others. My Mercury in Pisces husband is teaching me to be more patient. It can take him forever to recount a simple anecdote…
I mostly listen to what is not being said, between all the words. I would make a terrible communication policewoman (err, I mean police person) 
I’m all for grace and consideration becoming in vogue.
Ben’s smart.
I get the message, pay attention to what isn’t being said, like Carrie, and pick something apart if someone’s trying to pull a fast one on me – if it’s someone I trusted. I wish I could just let things like that go, because the stress and anger hurts me more than them, but… I want them to know that they aren’t fooling anyone.
I work to hear the message and clarify the words in the process if necessary. English is avery difficult language, where one word can have a varied number of meanings. Add to it, America is a rather large country where words take on different meanings and connotations based on what region you’re in. Let alone all the different educational levels and subcultures that are present in each region. Another thing to consider are those people that for one reason or another just can’t get their meaning across without it getting all mixed up or those that just don’t try. I find it in my best interest to be as patient as possible and work to understand the meaning more than get bogged down in word syntax details.
Plus I’m merc/mars conjunct the asc, so I can come across as way to overwhelming, or moving way to fast (with thoughts, words, actions, communications, etc). So I work to hear the message and clarify the words if I need to and hope others can have the same patience with me (when I’m overwhelming).
Angie
Elsa, I love reading this blog, run on sentences and dangling participles be damned! Here, I tend to listen to the message.
Well I have Merc in Saf conj. Saturn in Sag in the first. So as I am listening to the message…my Moon in Virgo kicks in. Then if I hear something attacking me personally, my Mars in Scorpio kicks in (aakkk!). I am trying to be more mindful as people speak to me or finish reading without judgement…then try to parse what is really being said. If I feel my Moon in Virgo gets perplexed or flustered, I try to ask questions to make sure there is no misunderstanding. It’s work but I think helps me to also communicate back what I am hearing.
Elsa, I can relate to your issues with writing. I tend to write almost on automatic pilot but miss things all the time. I must edit my posts five times before getting it to make sense and have no mispellings…and even then…: P
I don’t always understand with the initial reading of the post. From everyone, not just Elsa.
Sometimes I might not post a comment until someone else does, and sometimes I wait a few hours then I know how I want to respond.
I’m not going to shoot anyone then ask them what they meant.
i think a lot of people have trigger words that tend to override their ability to listen objectively. (instead they go into emotional response/judgement)
i think some people have waaaay more trigger words than others.. or that other people have practiced staying focused long enough to hear the whole thing…
i know there are some words that make it really hard for me to hear the rest of what someone is saying. the intensity of meaning they’re overlain with in my head can be heavy.
With the image of picking apart, I picture a youtube or Jezebel comment skirmish. That kind of shit is out of vogue, I think, for sure. Like deeet deet deeet deeet “corporal punishment” deet deet “libertarian,” okay, time to attack!
I have a tendency to go on the defensive or absorb people’s words incorrectly or pieces of them, and it takes me years to process just the thing they said.
I think I do both at once, and focus more on the message. Sometimes i try to be too literal to compensate for my naturally wandering mind. Sometimes the message I get is big picture where most others are on detail, to my mind. Eg. played a game w/kids… “name a tree that begins w/ an ‘n’.”. Kid says NAPALM. The message I got from that was so big I wrote an essay about it. 
It’s quite demanding, getting a lot from (and contributing to) this blog and the boards, because readers come from such a wide variety of backgrounds, ages, cultures and tempers! Our assumptions and experience are often quite foreign to one another.
It’s been very good for me, to practice trying to phrase responses so they won’t offend (I know I don’t always succeed). That effort in itself contributes to clarity.
I have to do the same even on my own page on Facebook, since I have friends on there from almost diametrically opposed corners of my life – people who have nothing in common, and who might quite intensely dislike one another if they ever met.
I learn a lot here.
I agree that English is difficult, and the variation on definitions and nuance can turn chocolate into sludge. In vulnerable times, I will fish for the hook words to defend my soft underbelly. But, in more recent times a gentler form of Saturn (is that possible?) is pouring on the Grace effect. Saturn in Libra, ha?! I like this.
both – both are important.
knowing how to differentiate and use the two may be saturn in scorpio’s lesson!
A mix of Anna and Tam:
I can hear the message but sometimes have to parse it out, especially if there’s bad grammar/syntax in the way. And I tend to wait for it to unclear itself before I respond. Plus, like I’ve mentioned on the boards recently, I really have had complete blow-outs that amounted to a semantic misunderstanding, due someone using a specific word that meant something other than what they thought it did.
I have Saturn in Virgo/3 conjunct my Leo Mercury, so I’m primed to be schoolmarm-ish. *grins* I’ve been a proofreader or editor most of my life.
Dina, eris and BP and I seem to be remarking on the same subject. I don’t know how bad grammar got into this. I am talking about people who listen (in any circumstance) for something they can pounce on.
“There you go, Elsa, you’re doing it again, you piece of shit”
Elsa = your husband or whoever that you are more interested in pushing away than you are in aligning with.
I’ve only really done that with the type of person that I mentioned above. I knew what you were referring to. I told them afterwards, that I was pushing them away, because I didn’t want them to think that they could just come back and have everything be okay. (although it didn’t stop them trying.)
Yes, I hate talking to someone who is obviously thinking more about how they are going to respond to you,(usually to tell you you are wrong) than they are about hearing what you are saying. I had an old boss like that. We didn’t get along very well. For myself, I find it easier to listen when I’m not feeling attacked.
I listen for the message. Mercury/Uranus loves communication from all angles. Mercury-ruled 7th House wants to communicate with everyone. I could give a flying fuck about your grammar, lol
My secret talents in life are: understanding people who can barely form sentences (never mind what language their speaking) and being able to peg accents/where people are from when they speak in their accented English.
Okay, I just through in ‘their’ to see if you were paying attention. HA HA
I listen to the message, truly, I’ve lost too much due my hair-trigger craziness to do otherwise. However, (here’s my Libra) every now and then I get the sense that someone is pushing me away with their choice of words. It’s not always easy to say “I don’t understand,” without coming across as defensive, offensive, or dense.
I would like to think I can listen to the message but with my last SO our communications were so fraught with hypocrisy and baiting that I doubted every single thing to come out of his mouth – even something banal like “I brought you some coffee.” To this day I cannot talk to that man more than five minutes without getting some kind of fight-or-flight response.
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I try to listen to the message. I hate the communication police ::shakes head::