Last night my son and I were mulling around the house, chatting. His birthday is coming up and I see a lot of changes taking place as he’s maturing. We heard a noise that stopped up dead in our tracks.
“I’ll take care of this,” I said, looking him right in the eye to calm him. He nodded and I went to my gun.
This is a small house and I am often glad about that. The “perimeter” doesn’t amount to much and there are a lot of exits. I turned off the light in the kitchen and turned on the floodlight in the back yard, explaining why because I knew my son was watching my every move. I could not see anyone in the backyard so I checked the garage to make sure it was secure and then went through the rest of the house.
“There is no one here,” I announced. “Whatever that was we’re okay…”
I put my gun away and we continued our conversation. I didn’t think about this much until I woke up this morning but I realized how much things have changed.
In the 70′s through the 90′s, there was widespread belief in my circles, that you could defend yourself by talking or reasoning with an intruder or by calling the police. I no longer believe this and am not sure if it was ever true in the first place. The reality is, if someone had come into the house last night, there would not have been any time to call the police. Small house, remember?
We don’t live in a movie where we can hide upstairs and shiver until the police come and save us. If someone comes into this house, the confrontation is going to be immediate which means I better know in advance what I am going to do.
I think it is smart to let my kid know what I am going to do as well so if anything like this ever does happen, he will not be shocked which I think will mean he will be less traumatized.
It is well understood around here that we are not going to stand around and be victimized. This is my stellium in Aries post for the day.
25 Responses to “Violence And Self Defense”
yeah, I don’t have a panic room either this would be why I love my Taurus and I’m not talking about the astrological sign.
I’m glad it turned out to be nothing.
Also, I feel pretty proud of myself. I was calm as hell. This is due my having thought this through in depth over these last years and my husband’s guidance of course.
I am so glad you handled the situation in that manner it not only showed Vid that you are protective of him but your self as well. That is very important I believe to children. I am so happy the situation turned out to be a false alarm you did the right thing in both my Aries husbands and my opinion. We believe that the police are there to write the report and clean up the mess. We taught our children that your home and your personal space are sacred they are to be protected and is not to be violated. You are so very right the police are not going to get there in time. Kudos to you Elsa you did good.
Oh. My. God.
I’m prepared to say “This isn’t happening.” and that’s about the only preparation I’ve got.
Such a weird article for me to read. Here in Australia, of course, we’re not really allowed guns. In fact I’m not sure that many people would even know the gun laws in out country outside of the police, Defence Forces and farmers – in fact anyone outside of those professions aren’t even likely to own guns. There’s just no gun culture here.
Of course we have intruders, but it’s strange to think that today in Australia people are only just starting to worry about keeping their front doors closed, and I mean simply closed as the deterrent, not locked. And through my profession I know for a fact that much of the older generation 60+ don’t even lock their doors at night, unless they are single women.
In fact, most of us who heard a strange noise would probably have the immediate impression that there was a possum on the roof.
Reading that just made me realise how lucky I am living here.
That is very cool, Little One. I appreciate that you can appreciate your circumstances and not demean me for trying to live well in mine. It’s pretty extraordinary actually. THANK YOU.
Hi Little One,
Just so you have a full picture, there are also places in the US much like you describe, in that the older generation and some younger too keeps doors unlocked and most noices turn out to be animal-related. And most people that I know of anyway don’t have guns unless they are hunters.
These places tend to be rural backwaters, where a lot of people don’t want to live because one has to travel to work, to buy necessities and just to find any culture at all involves a long drive. Population is somewhat sparse relatively speaking.
But I too realize that it is not like that everywhere, and I feel lucky to live where I do (in spite of what some consider the hassle, shoplessness and boredom factor). And, in reality, no place can be considered 100% safe, gun or no gun. We all make our choices and live our lives as best as we can.
Hey, no problem, I totally understand. There has been a turn here to show the “Underbelly” of our bigger cities and glamourise the little gang culture we have, and it seriously concerns me that one day I’m going to have to deal with situations similar to how do guys have to over there.
Right now we can live in the bliss that was your 70s-90s, but I fear that it won’t last forever/much longer. Today we have offenders running about with little more than their bare fists/brute Aussie strength (haha, sorry, saying that made me laugh) and you know that so long as you have a heavy object nearby or keys to gouge their eyes out you’ll be alright should anything get too serious.
@ Vajra
Good to hear. I never doubted that places of saftey exist everywhere in the world. I’m just happy that I don’t have to live in the backwaters to find it here…. and trust me, Australia has a whole lotta backwater.
P.S. I lived in the country for ages, so I’m not knocking the country lifestyle.
French expression: sang froid. Coolness and composure in a potentially heated situation. I too seem to be far away from the circumstances you relate. But that levelheadedness is inspiring. It applies to so many situations, not just potential home invasion.
“It is well understood around here that we are not going to stand around and be victimized.”
Yes. Exactly.
PS: I’m also happy at how it turned out.
“We don’t like in a movie where we can hide upstairs and shiver until the police come and save us.”
Yeah, no kidding!! (Says 4th house Aries Mars). When I was a kid I’d always been in awe of my Dad who, when watching a movie like that, would yell in anger at the TV “Just shoot the damn bastard you stupid fool! SHOOT HIM!!!”
So far,
I’ve had a gun pointed at me while driving down the highway by two guys in a truck.
I’ve been run off the road and had a gun pointed at me.
I’ve been stabbed in the chest while walking in New Orleans.
I’m armed now. I just have no choice, it’s just too scary not to.
My experiences made me decide I just have to protect myself.
I’m glad you and Vid are okay, Elsa! good job.
““I’ll take care of this,” I said, looking him right in the eye to calm him. He nodded and I went to my gun.”
I like it here more and more everyday. It’s so awesome that you aren’t like, “Don’t worry. It’s probably nothing” in front of your son, or just calling the police. He gets to see you proactively defending yourself and your home. It’s just really nice to think that when he’s grown he’ll see strength in a woman as being an attractive quality, rather than an imasculating one. I don’t know any men like this. I do think many mothers might disagree with letting a child see this. And I really believe that line of thinking is just so incredibly counterproductive. Shielding a kid from these situations only makes them more vulnerable and naive when it come to safety. And frankly, you are dead on about calling the cops and hiding not being an option. I recetly read that it takes an intruder something like 7 seconds to get into the master bedroom of a home once they’re inside.
Well played, Elsa. You handled it perfectly in my opinion. Vid has a good mom to show him the way.
@Elsa, Glad you’re ok, and you were so cool.
I had an experience with an armed intruder in 2004. I may have written about this before. He set off the sensor lights outside my bedroom at two in the morning and I did call the police….they arrested him just in front of my house. That said, I think it was the sensor lights turning on that scared him. Had it not been for those, calling the police probably would have been too late. I stayed in the house only a month longer, a couple of weeks later I had my car windows smashed in the light of day while I was taking groceries in. This was in Napa, California. You know, that beautiful place everyone wants to go wine tasting?!! I moved out into a well-lit apartment building – to a high floor with next to no access from outside.
But I think Elsa is right, to live securely in many places in the states, you have to know how to defend yourself, and be armed. I woulnd’t have a clue how to do that, so I think if I ever go back to live there, I should learn.
a friend of mine told me that he recently had to call the police because someone had broken into their house in the middle of the night while everyone was home…note he called them immediately after hearing the window break, so the guy was almost definitely in the house and this was a potentially dangerous situation!
first, 911 shuffled him around to different call centers, he had to tell them what was going on at least three times, from scratch.
then, once the dispatcher heard and grasped that the intruder was most likely still in the house, they said, well, we can’t do anything for you if he’s still in the house. It’s too dangerous for the officer(s).
W. T. F?
why do we pay these people?
I’m not a gun advocate at all, but if this is the way things are going, why the fuck not?
Regardless, I think you handled it very well Elsa. Showing calm and confidence in the face of fear/possible danger is excellent training for Vid.
I think about this all the time. I had a conversation with a male friend about the last time I was alone in the house with both kids. I slept all night with a baseball bat next to me, because that is the thing we own that would do the most damage. I don’t like it, because it is an up-close-and-personal weapon and could be taken away. He said it’s the second best thing after a gun, if I don’t want a firearm in the house. (Our children are 6 and 2.5. I am petrified that they would find it, no matter how careful we were.)
My friend apparently has weapons stashed all over his home just in case. A girlfriend has been buying a new gun every couple of months for the past year. My husband does kung fu, so we have a bag full of swords and shit, but really? I feel like I’m completely out of touch.
I was recently watching a house-hunting show about a couple moving to a small, coastal town in Australia. One of the houses they were shown had no exterior wall to the master bedroom / bath (it was a large, common room).
As cool as it was, I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I’ll admit my first thought was about insects and vermin, but my second was human intruders.
I mean, I don’t even want a door to the outside in my bedrooms because of the ease of access! (All told, I want to live in a cave. Yes, really. 
)
It’s nice to hear that intruders aren’t really a danger in Oz, though. 
Wow, living in England I find that scary. I hate guns, but if I lived in America I would definitely own several, because any intruder could be armed.
I remember a few years ago when I was a teenager living with my parents, a gang of people broke in and started ransacking the place – when they broke my bedroom door down, I screamed FUCK OFF in my most scary voice, which actually worked, they all left quickly! They were probably drug addicts, thankfully they didn’t have time to steal anything valuable.
i don’t think they ever could. but both my parents grew up in the country. you want to be saved, rather than defend yourself? good luck waiting for ANYONE to get there…
i’m also glad i have a dog now. there’s a bunch of reasons humans have lived with them for millennia…
Charley Bronson would be proud Elsa! Dirty Harry too! watched those movies and learned alot luv them movies lol I live in the woods and look out if your comming to mess with me .
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“I think it is smart to let my kid know what I am going to do as well so if anything like this ever does happen, he will not be shocked which I think will mean he will be less traumatized”.
Too True… & he’ll also have a better idea of how to handle the situation, if he were to be caught on his own!
Jeez, I can’t believe we’re living like this now
=(