Saturn Retrograde and My “Against the Grain” Revelation
Notes from the Transit Authority
I had a revelation earlier today sitting in the car with my head in my purse… If I want to get anything done right now, I’m going to have to go against the grain.
WTF!?
This was a new idea to me. I’m not kidding, I’m almost 30. My life up to this point has been a epic Neptunian float along. I have gone with the flow down more dubious eddies than I can count, and conveniently forgotten a lot of them, and magically woken back up on a calm sea. All with the mantra “This is what the universe wants me to see.”
But tonight, as I sat in the drive way with my face buried deep in my big bag with the horses on it that Albert bought me at the truck stop that one time we had a real fight, smelling the collected purse smells, trying to pull it together, muttering a muffled prayer, it dawned on me. I can just defy my impulse to go get boba and socialize. I can take care of my shit despite my mood. Flow says diddle around? Tell the flow to get bent. There’s work to be done.
But swimming upstream is harder?
Then swim harder. Duh.
Saturn is retrograde right now. Not an unusual occurrence. Saturn spends almost half the time retrograde. But this particular retrograde is a big deal for me. It’s my Saturn return…return! I’m getting another swipe from the old man’s iron. Rethinking my original Saturn return revelations, tweaking them, refining them. Having an even real-er experience.
Well anyway, now I’ve got a conceptual dilemma here. (click here to see Mercury’s involvement.)
Did I really have a real revelation about working hard to avoid the undertow… or is this also part of the flow? As in…I’m just flowing with the Saturn vibes now… … … man.
Do you go with the flow, or do you defy the sky?
Consult with Nota. Follow her on Twitter.
15 Responses to “Saturn Retrograde and My “Against the Grain” Revelation”
im constantly against the flow.
Nota!
Hooray for writing on the darn writer’s block wall.
You know there is a beautiful and insanely funny story to be had out of this return…
Leo Mars tips tophat to you, awesome creature. Find the gems at the bottom of that bag.
Healing to you,
ti
Saturn spends half the time against the flow? What a slacker!
I love the expression ‘get bent,’ Leo with his Double Scorpio says it all the time. Sounds better coming from someone with Scorpio.
Tra la la…
What is your question again?
You’re not even 30 yet? What a trip. I only know you from posts and those tiny photos (which don’t really let one in on your age, since they’re so small), but I thought you to be well into your 30s or beyond due your insight… Well, anyway, thank you so much for your posts; they are always insightful and thought-provoking.
Thanks del, I am pretty insightful. 
I am aware that my posts have been ambiguously aged. I have held back from revealing my age on purpose to keep it that way. But Saturn said it was ok now, so…
People who know me in real life will tell you am more like 12 at max. Farts are funny.
It’s part of the flow.
I used to think go with the flow meant sort of floating along lalala most of the time but I kept feeling the rocks under the hull and getting jammed up on sandbars and getting impatient waiting for the water to rise. Sometimes you get white water too and sometimes you have to bale and sometimes you have to get out and push her off.
That said, how is the baby??? Every time I see your photo I want to just want to go coochy-coochy-coo!
Tall. She is super tall.
We had a checkup today and the doc said She is >100 percentile for height.
Whoa, my 8 year old niece is also 100 percentile for height, and she is luminous, a gem, a real wow. Tall kids ROCK 
So do tall kids’ moms
I always feel that I’m growing up backwards or sideways! My rising sign is Cancer and my natal Saturn is retrograde in Scorpio.
Going through a Saturn return myself too and with natal Pluto conjunct to Saturn also. I feel like I’m dying but unable to stop and mourn my lost.. I feel pity for myself but unable to hold on to that emotion for too long because it’ll stop me from moving.. and Saturn is transiting my 4th house right now so I literally feel like I have to build myself from the ground up to something greater. I feel sad and morose but unable to concentrate on it too much. Don’t want to escape into despair too much so I work!
I also realized that when I’m confronted with oppositions or blockages, I perform with more determination.. For example, I’m currently work hard to put myself in better physical shape and some guy that I know through friends made a fat joke about me and I was so proud that day because I had lost about 20 pounds. I wasn’t hurt by it too much but I’m shocked with this timing! I’m even more focus now which is a blessing!
Growing has always been helpful to me even if they cause me pain.. My natal Moon is in Pisces so I can be a bit sensitive! 
I usually go with the flow, but I am trying to pay attention more to the scenery as it goes by.
i go with MY flow, if that makes sense
scorpio rising with pluto sextile midheaven and mars conjunct moon.
Go with flow.. but now i’m containing it to a small pool instead of a vast ocean. It’s creating a much different and richer experience. I finally have the opportunity to take a vacation away and all I want to do is sit on the dock of the bay and relax for a week. Maybe pay for a masseuse.
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Sigh, I don’t even know.
Can’t wait ’til things get better for you, Nota!