“I am amazed at how easy a person’s head untwists around these issues when someone speaks to them and tells them the truth in simple terms.”

I’m counting you as the truth-teller, Elsa. With all these planets partying with Aries SN and Saturn conjunct my Libra NN, this is a truth I’ve been waiting to hear. It seems so simple.

Well, I was prompted to write this last night due a consult I will finish this morning. I very carefully laid out the situation of a man a client is involved with, finds himself in at this stage in his life under his current transits. I mean I laid it out, a. B. C.

She then went on her date and heard everything I said come out the guy’s mouth and all the sudden, there is no mystery anymore.

This is what made me write this because it’s become a common story with Saturn in Libra…

“Eh, I dunno… I just don’t think it’s always easy and fixable for everyone if you just stop believing your love myths, or whatever.”

True and I mentioned that. But for some the lights really do go on and with Saturn in Libra (and Uranus transiting Aries) the effect can be lightning fast and liberating.

Even the people who face an uphill climb can move light years, quickly. I know this is true because I have seen it happen repeatedly.

In some cases it’s the opposite. People realize they simply don’t want to relate to others in this way and this is also liberating as they may have spent years on the fence over it.

In whatever case, many of us have bad programming around this and the intention of my post was to address that.

This post makes me smile.
People come to me IRL for relationship advice all the time. I laugh b/c HELLOOO I have 2 failed marriages and a striiiiing of horrible romantic relationship choices. Then, I stop laughing and say, “What? You want to know what NOT to do?”

There was a time when I considered myself the love and relationship expert. PFFFt was that a big ol Neptune delusion! I am currently rewriting my theory on love and relationships..started from square one washing away absolutely everything I’ve been told and thought I knew and starting from scratch. I’m learning a lot and it’s very beneficial thus far.
I grew up in an environment full of romantic and relationships delusions. I am embracing the realism I am now seeing surrounding love and relationships.

I watched my parents constantly fight as a young child and yet go out with each other all the time on dates too. They had an up and down relationship, and my mother constantly told my dad she wants a divorce and still after 46 yrs of marriage she says this!!

So I always hoped for a romantic kind of love- since I am an Aries afterall, but when I was date raped at 17 I lost any idea what Love really means… I found myself attaching to men that would say they cared for me only to use me ( they were dating other ppl)- I was a magnet for these type of guys.. 2 of them I still talk to on FB, since we still can be friends, but the hurt hit deep. I constantly didn’t know what I did wrong, and wondered why I couldn’t receive love from them.

So the first guy I met that didn’t do this to me I ended up marrying… now he is unlike those others.. more thoughtful and kind, but boring. My mom told me when I questioned if I should stay in the relationship that you can’t always get what you want so if kindness is more important than intellect than thats what you get, otherwise move on.

So I married Mr. Kind… my friends and family all love him- he is Mr. Mom, but a part of me still longs for that person I can fully connect with. He is a Cancer ( libra rising) I am an Aries ( sag rising) so we have a hard time understanding each other and sometimes I feel like its always a battle. We have 2 kids so its important they have a stable life, but sometimes I wondered – Damn do I have the same marriage as my parents??

I wonder if I will stay when the boys are gone to school.. and frankly I feel I would be a failure at finding that 1 perfect love- I have idealistic views on what that would look like- but I know some ppl have it.. but at soon to be 44, not sure if thats going to happen in my lifetime.

I never wanted the drama, and just wanted something real – I think that relationships can be warm, sexy, fun, and real and committed at the same time, and always have done, because I’ve seen them in action. A big part of me has felt over the years, that it wasn’t going to be possible for me (because nobody would want to do that with me – just use me for a while, which I wasn’t going for). I met more than one someone, two years ago, in my early twenties, and another when I was about to turn thirty-one, and exposed m,y vulnerabilities, was there for them – I didn’t hide much of anything (only my feelings when I was unsure, or not wanting to push), and they all left me feeling like this part of my life is a joke, and that I was right: that nobody will be there for me, and want that relationship with *me*. The last one was there to a point, but only if I didn’t expect him to take responsibility – he liked my fire, to a point, brought all sorts of drama into my life, and then took off when I was upset by it all, because it was too much for him.

I need to stop rambling- the disappointing ones were the ones I’ve met since… sorry for the third comment.

Programing, absolutely. My grandmother, who was born in 1896, was divorced twice and widowed once. My mother’s father left her when she got pregnant with Mom, because she was known to get around – he didn’t believe that was his baby.

Mom’s sister, older by 14 years, was married three times. She never had children though; the Skeleton Closet was damned full, and I was in my 20s before I learned that my grandmother had taken her for a back alley abortion which was botched when she was young.

Mom was married and divorced three times as well. My dad split when I was two. She dated a lot of cops while my oldest brother was tripping on anything he could take in the late 60′s, but she fell in love with Adam when I was about nine. Married, he was. Treated her like shit until she’d return the behavior, then he’d be all sweet.

So yeah. I like men fine, and I like having someone care about me and having someone to care for, but it can be very suffocating to me. Add that to every major disagreement triggers the absolute certainty that he’s gonna dump my ass over it thanks to my abandonment issues, and it can be a rocky road to travel day in and day out.

I had shitty, shitty examples growing up and managed to somehow not fall into that trap anyway. Hole = avoided.

I’ve found other holes, though. Thank cheeze I usually only step in ‘em once!