Daily Tarot, March 13, 2011: Three of Swords and All the Ways You Hate Me!
Astrology Meets Tarot!
In broken relationships, I find it much easier to deal with hateful messages than innocuous ones. That sounds counter-intuitive. But being told you’re the cause of all worldly woes isn’t confusing. "Rot in Hell!" doesn’t require follow-up questions.
Venom-spewing also removes the sense of "owing" a response. Politely-worded criticism or even otherwise neutral communications are much harder, because it triggers old feelings and the urge to respond. I always ask myself of this urge, "What is my goal here?" That’s the best guidepost I’ve found.
The Three of Swords is associated with Saturn in Libra. "The Heartbreak card" shows up to reference losses. Those swords cut, and the hurt rains down around the wound. When I see this card, I first move to acknowledge the suffering. Whether or not a situation appears to be a loss from the outside, it’s felt that way. Threes being the Tarot number of creativity and birth, it warrants attention that we see this card specifically when a situation has taken on a life of it’s own.
Using the Saturn in Libra association, my advice centers on balance (Libra) and boundaries (Saturn). Weigh out your needs and responsibilities. Saturn would also urge you to define your goals clearly, so you can know which decisions advance them. Libra cannot force others to be nice, but Saturn can cut off those who are not. Take responsibility (Saturn) for your part in continuing these partnerships (Libra).
The email diatribe outlining my perceived faults? Better off ignoring than getting sucked into defending. It’s unlikely anything I’d want to say would be heard, so what’s the point? If they keep coming, I can block (Saturn).
Less egregious hostility is trickier, but my best bet is to ask, "What’s the goal here?" That answer—civil interaction, possibly "someday" reconnection, being left in peace—whatever it is, gives indications as to how to proceed. The point is to face the reality (Saturn) of the partnership (Libra) as it is, accepting the losses you’ve had as real so you can more effectively make sure your role remains consistent with your goals.
How do you deal with difficult communications?
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13 Responses to “Daily Tarot, March 13, 2011: Three of Swords and All the Ways You Hate Me!”
Helping to clarify the possible options and permutations of trying to reconcile:
Three choices –
“civil interaction, possibly “someday” reconnection, being left in peace”
Thanks for the focus…
“Rot in Hell!” doesn’t require follow-up questions. Brilliant!
When there’s someone who clearly needs to exit my life but is clinging by their fingernails, I like the crash-and-burn approach. I am not above insulting them to the quick – this puts me in the position of “bad guy” and they beat a hasty retreat. I don’t mind being the heavy. Results are what matters.
Not very Zen or kind of me, but really, there comes a point where a relationship is talked to death and it’s time to jettison.
In the past, I would put up much resistance if the communication was confrontational. However, I’m learning how to accept (Libra) and (Saturn) to help me communicate in a greater/better way.
My goals are what pulls me so anyone who does not support them…I say peace out! See you!
““Rot in Hell!” doesn’t require follow-up questions.” I love this!
I agree with Del about there coming a point when a relationship is talked to death and it’s time to move on.
I was on the receiving end of a particularly vitriolic email once. They emailed again a few months later to make small talk and wish me a Happy Birthday as if nothing had ever happened. I didn’t respond because obviously nothing positive or even logical was to be gained from interacting with someone who conducts himself in that manner.
Mabel, that’s a real pet peeve of mine – pretending as if nothing has ever happened. I know people sometimes address it this way, but it absolutely makes my hair hurt.
“Pretending as if nothing has ever happened… MAKES MY HAIR HURT.” An old friendship that stopped and started up again is stopped, again. I think, she’s pissed at me … but the emails just don’t get responded to.
Making my hair hurt? Not really, but clearing things up would be better before my hair starts to fall OUT.
What does 4 of cups mean? I’m trying to learn. I asked the tarot today and got the same card TWICE!!!
Yesterday two of cups came up TWICE!!!
I think the universe knows i’m stubborn! Ha-ha! 
Any help would be greatly appreciated…
Morgan, this is what I’ve written on the four of cups: http://www.elsaelsa.com/tag/four-cups/
@mokihana and dixie: Yeah, when someone pretends as if nothing ever happened it’s like pouring salt in the wound after already having been kicked in the stomach.
I don’t know if people who handle conflict this way even realize that. For me, it was downright insulting and I honestly have no clue if that was their intention, like taking another shot at me as if to say “see, you aren’t even worthy of an apology” or if they were simply lacked the cajones to do the right thing and wanted to see if they could get away with taking the easy way out.
That’s why, for me, this entry about the Three of Swords dovetails beautifully with Le Ciel’s comment about projection and reciprocity. Just because I know how I’d handle a situation doesn’t mean others will do likewise. Doesn’t mean I’m not still flummoxed by how this person chose to handle everything, but I have accepted that this is how they chose to deal. And this is where I’m reminded of the great words of Maya Angelou when she said “When someone shows you who they are, believe it.” Boy, do I ever.
i made a thread for this: http://boards.elsaelsa.com/topic/when-people-pretend-like-nothing-ever-happened
The only person I got vitriolic with, was someone I didn’t ever want to know again. They’d shown me who they were, and I wanted them nowhere near me. The whole situation is just weird, and I hate it.
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Never very well…Libra moon wants everyone to feel good…and I get physically ill during confrontations