Dating Predators: People Who Want You To Want Them But Who Never Really Want Anyone Themselves
Ask the collective
Posting this as a follow up to the post – Women Chasing Men – Good Idea Or No?
Judging from the comments, many people are on the dating sites. I have spent my life studying mating and there are a number of different predators out there. These are people (men or women) who would never identify themselves as predators but it is exactly what they are.
The say they want whatever they have to say they want in order to get you to bite; most typically this is a long-term relationship but what they really want is for you to see how attractive they are. They want you to want them and have no actual desire to be the one who does the wanting.
They show up for your date, perfect in every way and snag ya. You go home snagged, thinking you’re going to go somewhere with this person but you’re really just their pawn and when it doesn’t work out a few days or a couple weeks down the road, you’re left feeling you screwed something up when in reality you’ve been gamed by someone who may not even know they are a gamer (but probably does).
Have you ever met anyone like this? Tell us.
old video – Zodiac Predators – The Venus Neptune Landshark
22 Responses to “Dating Predators: People Who Want You To Want Them But Who Never Really Want Anyone Themselves”
Uh yeah, I dated someone like this for three months. Which in my dating history is the equivalent of about 2 days (my relationships are typically long winded. I was thinking this was working out good, we had fun together it was relazed and not too much pressure on either side and then one day he just disappeared *poof* right back to where he came from I guess. We had just came back from a day trip and I left my tennis shoes in his truck. I never heard or saw him again. Odd..lol.
He is now known as “the guy who dated me for 3 months just so he could steal my old pair of sneakers” in my circle of friends. I mean..I have no other explanation for it.
Folks ought to exhibit responsibility for whomever they date and end the victimhood now.
You just described my second husband… Hahaha!
Wowza I think that most if not all people can benefit from taking responsibility for virtually any decision they make. Having a conversation about what went down is a healthy starting point. I had to think about my experience first before I was able to exhibit anything OTHER than victimhood.
Yes! Someone who says they want this and that, and then do the opposite! I called them on it, too.
Also, my mother dated a sociopath who had at least six other women on the go. (His own mother called him a sociopath – I don’t throw those words around.)
Said they should have a baby, and then, when she was pregnant (once he’d won her over), said that they couldn’t have one, and that she should abort. He messed with her head, big time. She didn’t want to abort, but finally made the appointment – suddenly really seeing him for who he was – and when she told him, he lost it. She let the appointment go, he changed his mind again, and she just decided that she didn’t want to have his baby at all. She went through with it, he was all sweet and tender with her, the nurses were all in love with him (I don’t know why – I disliked him on sight), and as soon as he got her to the car, he freaked out on her. Then he left her at home, took her last little bit of money, and went out to dinner with his best friend and two other women. (She didn’t know that at the time. She later found out about the other women, too – definitely a predator, who left me feeling wary at a very, very young age.)
wow Salali..yuck! What an awful experience for both of you!
How does one avoid falling into this trap? I know a few people who constantly do.
Oh yeah. By the way, Elsa, the video won’t play. I was looking forward to it for your thoughts..
Any hew. Know the astrology of these folk?
Mine had their 6th house Venus sextile Neptune while 4th house Neptune squared the Moon, Mars, and Saturn- all in the 1st. Venus also squared Uranus and trined Pluto. Empty 7th, less Eros.
Maybe that’s why feeling the appearance of a monogamous rel’n was more paramount than actually being an active participant of one, or three, as was the case. All of which proved thrilling because of Pluto?
I’m just glad to be outta that mess, for sure! I’m with Salali- those fcukers are a whole other breed of human. Or un-human for that matter.
lolo, I don’t think something like this can be pinned to a sign or an aspect though vanity is definitely part of it.
See, a person can be vain but not malicious. A person can also be vain and malicious. In these cases you might have a similar experience on the surface but the underside would be different.
This is a very general thing and quite common I think.
I have a friend, a Virgo with Sag rising, who does this. She wants men to want her, but she readily admits that she doesn’t want them herself. But, for her, it appears to be more that she’s so insecure that she needs the guy to want her in order to feel okay, not that she’s actually wanting to hurt them. That’s all I know of her chart, though, what I said above, so I’m not sure what might play into it all.
…true. It’s just a pity to in your heart of hearts know that person is really a ball of love but their whatever gets in the way. Maybe that’s my own denial. Who knows. Thanks for the response, Elsa!
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Guess my comment was ate..any hew. True. I’m definately hoping vanity wins that hand.
Thanks for the reply, Elsa!
“the guy who dated me for 3 months just so he could steal my old pair of sneakers” rofl josi!
D: I think I am guilty of this. I don’t date, so it’s not a major issue, but there is this really sadistic part of me that wants particular people to fall for me when I have no feelings for them whatsoever. The “good” part of me knows it’s amoral, but the “bad” part finds it highly amusing, like some sort of game.
It’s got to be an insecurity thing or maybe a venus/neptune thing.
I have venus conjunct neptune and I will admit..sometimes I just want to be desired. I enjoy the chase, but when it’s time to be a happily settled couple, I get restless. I always tell a guy upfront of my tendencies just so they are aware of what they are getting into.
I met my mirror last year so I can attest to understanding this dynamic.
It brought alot of love into my life but more realization that sometimes, it’s the chase…the journey..the pot of gold sometimes isn’t as glittery as it was from a distance I suppose.
Yeah, I got a “Candy Gram” and am paying for it dearly! This really hit home Elsa. I have been studying what was going on back then and WHOA! Too scary to believe. I was totally looking for a partner and he was totally looking to secure some serious wealth. I ate it up hook line and sinker and sunk.
Hmmmmm…..got me thinking about the ex-boyfriend. I don’t doubt that consciously he thinks he wants a relationship but looking at all his relationship stories and patterns, he’s outta there in less than 6 months. And he always brags that it was the woman chasing him. I can’t imagine that I am the only woman in his entire life that he chased after – I suspect that he has this need to feel desirable.
I def understand the aspect of just being wanted. I don’t think it is wrong, but it is kinda a one night only thing.
I know of people who drag it over time, and that I think is shitty karma, atleast if the person is emotionally involved.
I think it is fair if the person dates you because they like to show you off, because you are pretty or something. Aslong as the use goes both ways.
But somepeople are hard, u can spell it out to them 50 times that you are just dating for entertainment, and still they will look for the future in nothing . And to prevent more damage ,you back out, and regardless you are portrayed as the b…. or a……
sometimes i wonder if i do this. particularly when younger. inexperienced and clueless and a little (lot) confused about what my options are and what i actually want. i can’t really know one way or another until i feel it and give my gut the reins to decide.
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Yes. I learned about this the hard way. I’m glad though. Honestly–with Venus/Pluto I was bound to meet the shadow side of romantic life and I’m glad I met it sooner rather than later. It’s not like I was going to avoid it with a chart like mine.
Now I think about the lines I was fed, and I hear other people talking the same and I am glad–I KNOW. And I can run, far away.