Synastry is evaluating how the energy of the other affects you and how your energy affects the other. You take the sum total of that, squint at it a bit, shake it up in a bag and decide if there’s enough good to outweigh the bad. If you look at it more closely it’s tough to realize what IS good and what is bad. Easy is not necessarily good. Difficult is not necessarily bad. The interaspect (aspect between planets in two charts) of Mars square Saturn is one of those that seems obviously difficult. It is, but that doesn’t make it a deal breaker.
My man and I have several squares in our synastry. His Saturn squares my Mars. I could go on and on (and I do) but I’ll let astrology speak to what this means for us. I find him judgmental of how I act. I suspect he’s judging me and act out or blow up. I’ll act how I want! Nobody but me is going to control (Saturn) how I act (Mars)! Notice the exclamation points: that’s the square at work on a personal planet. My third house Mars uses punctuation. “Auugh, going to bludgeon you to death with this asterisk!”
The Saturn person restricting the Mars person is pretty straightforward. What is not so obvious is that aspects in synastry can also manifest reciprocally. In total expression, it’s not just him with the Saturn and me with the Mars. At times we each irritate the bug-fuck out of the other. Whenever this happens the other moves to suppress or control.
Is this bad? Maybe. It might seem bad, or feel bad. But for us I don’t think it’s destructive. We both maintain a pleasant veneer. We both have a general tendency to brush things off that are probably better addressed. Our frequent blowups at each other make us appear volatile as a couple, and we are. But we stay together because this aspect forces us to clear the air on important issues, though neither of us is inherently programmed to do so. In the end we work things out even though it’s not how either of us as individuals would handle things. I call that growth.
Do you have Saturn contacts in synastry? How do they affect the relationship?