This post is a PS to the Bridezillas post where I acknowledged I have various skittish behaviors.
My husband and I were talking over Christmas and one thing that came up was my tendency to get pissed off, (irrationally so) in certain circumstances. The main scenario that sets me off is when his schedule gets out of whack which throws my schedule out of whack.
His schedule is outside his control for the most part. It is also outside his boss’s control and most times I understand this but sometimes I DO NOT understand it and I become reactive and start yelling due frustration.
It’s not that hard to understand why. I only see my husband a few days a month, I work a lot and I really hate to work when he’s home.
I just don’t want to work when he’s here. The time is precious to me so when things go awry and I wind up with a full work schedule during the time he is home, I do get pissed off… at him, at his boss, at his boss’ boss or whoever.
Next thing you know I am yelling my head off – it’s this person’s fault, it’s that person’s fault. I also scream about the lack of consideration for my job and for my clients – all about how I have to be focused to work and you get the idea. It’s understandable but it is also insane because there is nothing anyone can do when this happens, see?
So I do that. Not always, but sometimes. I may be especially horny or something. I may have had a bad week which makes the conditions ripe, but here is the thing:
I told my husband that I agreed with him, it was irrational but he was just as irrational as I am.
“I know it is outside your control,” I said. “I know it is unfair to blame you but I am just venting. You vent all the time. How many times a day do you threaten to kill people, hmm? How many times a day do you vent..?”
What struck me is when I vent my anger, it is directed at the other – I have Mars in Libra.
When my husband vents his anger it’s got a Mars Saturn flavor, he is going crush someone, break bones, etc.
I am not sure that one is any easier to deal with than other but I am sure we both need to be able to discharge energy like this.
How do you vent your anger? Where is your Mars?