Dating Cancer Men by Satori
“Bobby, dey ever catch dat gorilla that busted outa da zoo and punched you in da eye?”
–Mama Boucher, The Waterboy
The first Cancer man I dated, I married. I was a single mom at the time and I think that was no small part of the attraction for that particular Cancer man. Right away he told me he wanted to marry me. I had told him I wanted to have more children and I wasn’t interested in dating just to date, so he said, “great, let’s get married!”
I was in heaven, and then I met his mother. She hated me instantly. She decided I was a gold-digger and out to trap her son. At her first opportunity she told him, “it’s her or me.” I was shocked when he told her, “I’m sorry you feel that way, mom, but I’m not going to choose.” Eventually she accepted this and we came to love each other, she and I. In fact, even though we’re now divorced, I adore his mother, with all her quirks (I certainly have mine), and look forward to seeing her whenever I have the opportunity.
My son is also a Cancer. His Uranus-Neptune conjunction opposes his Cancer sun and stellium and conjuncts my moon. I was shocked, just shocked to find out he was going to be a boy! It never occurred to me I could have a boy! But when I calmed down I decided I was going to raise me a good boy, a man who respected and loved women. I was going to raise a good man who would treat a woman right. and I did. His whole life he has loved babies, loved women, and he’s very clear that he’s looking for someone to settle down with and have a family.
My son has Cancer Mercury conjuncting his sun and opposing his Neptune, his Neptune conjuncting my moon. When he was little he attended a daycare where it was mainly fathers picking up their children and all the kids would run to their father yelling, “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!” So when he began to talk he called me Daddy. He called me Daddy for years until he got a daddy. It was so cute I hated to break him of it. But I never had any doubt he knew I was his mama.
When he was in the emergency room for alcohol poisoning, so drunk he couldn’t see straight, the doctor told him they had called his mother. I’m told he lifted up his head and grinned, saying, “Oh GOOD. She’s going to KICK MY ASS.” Then he passed out.
My son is also very good to me. He expresses his love and loyalty daily. He’s a good family man in the making and he loves his mama. He lives his sun.
Home, family, and the mama will always be a core issue for Cancer, those with personal planets in Cancer or the 4th house. With challenging aspects or expressed poorly it can be a complicated issue, but an issue nonetheless. When dating Cancer you will be dealing with home and the mama, or being the mama, or the mama comes first. In any case, mama is part of the paradigm in some way. He’s also a man who knows how to work mama. So hang loose and see how it unfolds.
Have you ever dated someone with marked Cancer energy? How did they feel about women and their mama? Did it affect the relationship?
22 Responses to “Dating Cancer Men by Satori”
This is so timely – I dated my first Cancer man 30 years ago when I started university and I’ve been thinking a lot about him recently. Never met his mother as my Saggie Venus ran off too quick! But I have a 4th house Sun and tend to get involved with men with Cancerian energy. It makes me feel safe.
My Cancer ex lived with his parents while I was dating him. Every morning he would do the dishes with his mom and have their “morning talk”.
I dated Cancer man for almost 5 years in my early twenties. he had Cancer Moon too. His mother died when he was 15, so that left a big scar. my Pisces Sun is in 4th house and we were a good match. he was a nice guy, funny, smart, respected women. in the end it wasn’t meant to be. Cancer man look for a motherly types, and I’m not one. He found one, married her, they have two children.
I used to be attracted to Cancerian qualities in a man. I still find them to be great friends. but in a relationship, too emotional and moody for my taste.
I haven’t dated Cancer but had an elementary school friend who was. First week we became friends, she invited me to her house, and continued to do so every weekend for a few years. She’d chat up both her mom and mine, and she lives with her mom now, as opposed to her dad. I remember her baking, cooking, and cleaning while I was around. She knew she wanted a family with one girl and one boy when I had not figured it out yet, and she’d mother me to no end.
I didn’t attract Cancers, and with my need for lots of space, it’s little wonder I didn’t. Those kinds of issues aren’t attractive to them.
Never dated any cancer men.. But I know alot . And they run in my family. My great grandfather, grandfather and uncle are all cancers and my brother has venus in cancer ,and have many of those traits. I like them alot, never met a cancer guy I did not like. Funny with the mother, my grandmother can never get over the fact my uncle left home. Haha she has 2 lovely daughers that does everything for her, but he is all she talks about..or his wife (critique)
They def have a huge cool factor dispite their moodiness. I know one with leo rising and aries moon , super sexy!!!
my bf has ASC & Moon in Cancer. My Venus is conjunct his ASC. We are both very close to our moms, and very needy of each other… as of late with a lot of chaos going on around us we seemed to have found a lot of support from one another and our love is growing beyond measures i ever expected. i think we find in each other the stability that soothes our Cancer traits…
@Satori.Wow.Mr. Blue Eyes(Husband)has Cancer rising W/ Moon in Cancer.If we’re going w/ Placidus,his jupiter,Pluto,Uranus,S.Node,Sun,and Mercury are located in the 4th house.He has an incredible connection to his Mother.She is a power-house.He is and has been at odds w/ his father for many years.The parents divorced when he was 12.She dislikes me.I don’t take it personally.No woman is good enough for her Son.Thankfully, she lives in a neighboring state!My Husband is a marvelous cook,can grow the best garden imaginable,tends to my wounds like a trained medical professional,has an affinity for the Moon and it’s fazes.has a real passion for the ocean and the land(always collecting rare rocks,sea shells,and commenting on the quality of the soil,at any given location.)His sun sign is Libra,never the less,the cancer shines through,like the light from a full Moon.
One last observation,He alway’s opens the car door for me.He’s from another time.
meant “ALWAYS” sorry.
Several Cancer men I have known have had an issue with their father. I had a Cancer Sun friend who was very close to me and who I kind of mothered. He had weird issues with his father and father figures (his father is a psychologist, his stepfather a professor), difficult when he would have stringent professors (he said it was an issue of transference) and emotionally feel somehow hurt or challenged by them when they graded him harshly or were very domineering in their opinions. Cancer guy that I knew understood the water side of me very well and supported me, he identified very much with his father more than with his mother, even one night he had the same dream and pain in the stomach as he did. The things he told me were so stereotypical, it cracked me up. Oh, and on the first date he “met” my mother in that I gave her a call so he could hear her accent.
Hey Satori–just want to say thank you for raising a good man! Not enough of them in the world these days
Oh, I’ve never dated a Cancer man but I’ve pined for many of them. They’re cooler than the other side of the pillow.
i’ve attracted a few cancers, so there must be some kind of vibe going there. i have a fairly beleaguered moon, so maybe it calls out to them somehow i need cheering up?
my husband has mars and Venus in cancer. (that’s why i get so excited when we leave the house.) he doesn’t mother me exactly, although he looks out for me and is definitely a good family man. he was raised by his mom and had three sisters (as well as a brother). he definitely respects women and is a good father. that was very important to me, if i’m going to be raising kids with somebody.
our first date was to a haunted _house_ then visiting his brother and wife at their home. his mother didn’t like me at first either. later she said she did, but her actions didn’t always bear that out. now, i think she just blames me that he doesn’t bother with her.
but yes, i definitely like that home/family vibe.
Grrr… I wrote a big huge thing in response to this yesterday and it didn’t post. Anyhooze…
I attract Cancer men for some strange reason- but none of them, to me, really seem to have a major Cancer influence like their charts would indicate.
My on again, off again ex is a Cancer Moon/Venus and while I would never in a million years say that he has a good relationship with his mother, she does have a lot of control over him. And she really doesn’t like me, which has been a major factor in our split since he is constantly in and out of living in her house. The girl he’s been on and off with after me is a Cancer Sun and she was smart, she won his mum over first, planted the seeds of hate towards me, and ended up with the boy.
I also have two very good Cancer Sun guy friends. One has an appalling relationship with his mum and the other is best friends with his mum. If I didn’t know their birth info I’d never guess either of them was a Cancer- they both project their rising and moon signs to a T. Sag and Libra / Cap and Aquarius.
cancer people warm up to me easily. it might be my scorpio rising, or their sun being in my 8th house that creates an instant soul connection. all the cancer friends i’ve had show their affection by being motherly.
my ex and longest relationship was with a man with mars in cancer square pluto in libra. he was adopted and was very sensitive to family issues, especially regarding his birth mother. he pined for her and could easily cry over ‘not having a mother’. he was instantly attracted to me because i’m a single mother. i had my son at the same age that his mom had him (we were 17), yet i chose to keep my son.
it didn’t work out though because i felt like his mother issues prevented him from seeing me as an equal (instead of projecting his pain from birth onto me). and i want a partner, a king to my queen (moon in leo).
I had one date with a Cancer man when I was in college and had no idea of astrology. Knew I was in trouble when he picked up a call in the middle of the date and it was a girlfriend. Never dated him again.
My husband has a Cancer Moon at his MC. He phones his mom every Saturday across the water. Both his parents are Capricorns. My husband’s Cancer moon is at one end of a T-square, involving Pluto on his ASC and Jupiter on his IC. He is definitely driven to acheive for his family and himSelf. Lots of Work and Lots of Golf. He moves in and out of obsessive mode.
I have Venus and Mars in the 4th. Although I have two kids, I’ve never felt very maternal. …I guess I’ve always associated “maternal” with soft and Femmy, which I’m not. I look more like a She-Male than a female. My Venus and Mars make a grand water house trine, so what gives? I don’t think of my self as much of a cook niether.
I think with 4th house personal planets, there is alot of conparisons/identification/rebellion made towards the native’s mother. I think I’ve embedded the message that my feminity is not good enough because its quite different from my mother’s.
@Opal, I too am having rememberances of my first, 30 years ago. Saturn making it tour. Contact in Dreams that lingered throughout the day and urged me to google him. So I did.
Great post Satori and you should be proud to have brought up a respecting and loving son.
I do seem to attract Cancer men or men with cancerian influences in fact my I have three very strong friendships with cancer men. All of whom are loved by women and love them back… and very close to their families or family plays an important role in the life. In fact Im pining for one but oh well dont see anything happening..I do like them never had that many problems with them
Worst BF I ever had. Controlling controlling and controlling and lying and cheating. (Had Gemini South node).
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my bf has cancer mars-
when i told my male friends we were together, they said ‘oh good! he’s a complete gentleman’ and
‘oh good! he has respect for women’
i like dating a man that men have good things to say about:)
his energy is good for our relationship, for sure!