Thank you for that Ms Dixie =)

Sometimes those close to me (whom I trust), will say I’m cutting the other person TOO MUCH slack- I should be tougher on them & not as forgiving.

On the other hand, sometimes I’m acused of being TOO TOUGH & I should soften my stance.

Regardless of whether whatever the person has done has impacted me badly, I can always see thier side & where they’re coming from. It makes it hard to stay angry sometimes- even if warranted.Very Pisces trait I think.

But if a person seriously does wrong by me- they’re out the door & that’s that! Lol… maybe tis my Aries moon that has last say on that!

@Dixie, I’m not trying to make light of your sitaution, but it made me laugh when I read: “So, are you still an asshole?”. I think that was brilliant *grin*… think you were just sraight up honest because he caught you SO off guard.

I’m totally overwhelmed by the end of a love relationship and the pain goes on for years. For me, the end of love somehow detracts from all the good stuff which went before, especially if the man’s behaviour was reprehensible in some way; and sometimes to the extent of destroying my happy memories.

But I can always, or almost always, see why I was in the relationship so even if I’m bitter I tend not to diss the guy. I can be coldly clear-headed whilst still feeling utterly devastated! As the last poster notes, there is often a huge gap between intellect and emotion.

If a man has really done me harm or tried to, like my husband maneouvring to do me out of the proceeds of our house when we split up (which were small; – it was in France and half-renovated, and I needed the funds to repatriate) – then hatred is not far from what I feel

“It sours the whole picture and creates a hole where something I once treasured used to be.”
This is the problem, yes. Sometimes time gives a better perspective and allows the happier memories to come back into focus, but not always. The more I’ve invested in a relationship, the harder it is … Venus in Cap!

Honestly? The good memories are devastating. The bad hurt distantly. Worst of all is the knowledge of things left unsaid.

I cope. Can’t go backward, guess I’ll go forward; though I do begrudge it sometimes. *smiles*

I have remained friendly with every lover I’ve had in my life. One is only recently friendly again, but I never harbored ill will towards him.

I figure the whole has enough crap to throw at me – no point in putting more out there.

The man I loved the most, though…we were close friends for several years after we split up. Then we had a stupid falling out when my son was a baby. I used to call his house to hear him answer the phone, just to be sure he was ok. (He had contracted AIDS at that point.) But I never had the nerve to say anything. I was afraid he’d hang up on me and I’d be devastated. Three years later, he was IN MY HEAD all the time. I tried to reach him, and got his ex who lied to my about the shape he was in. Told me he’d pass a message.

One week later, I got a note in the mail from someone we both knew in Denver. He was dead.

That remains an open sore. But I learned something vital from it, and I never ever leave things unsaid. (Hey, man…I still miss you.)