I’ve got a coworker who is challenging – and I’m sure he thinks I am challenging, too! – and one thing that has helped is to see what he *is* good at, and acknowledge that. I have no idea what’s in his chart, but can this ever be a bad idea? I think not.

As always, great advice, Elsa.

This is very good! I have been dealing with similar circumstances at work, essentially trying to show my employer that our working relationship is not in either of our best interests. I initially approached it trying to out-trick the situation, which in a way was just planting the suggestion, but when it came time to hammer out the details about how to proceed forward, I learned that the BEST negotiations happen when it’s a win/win situation, and I attribute that to Saturn in Libra.

did that last year. (Mars pisces.) she eventually left and started looking for the help she needed (and did she) but in the meanwhile we avoided a catastrophe.
it was grueling though.

definitely useful advice.

there’s a difference between enabling and giving someone enough of a lifeline that they don’t try to drag you down with them when they’re drowning. and it feels more… humane.

This is the way I work most of the time. I figure you’re going to have to put energy into these situations one way or another, so why not try & make it GOOD?
As my Grandmother says… you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar!
Thanks Elsa… I wish everyone could learn this lesson =)

Hami… you are right, no denying but there’s ALWAYS going to be drama, whether you like it or not- it’s just the way people ARE!!!
Isn’t it better to try & keep things harmonious?
Sticks & donkeys, ya know? You can beat the donkey & they’ll get nasty & stubborn (& rightly so!) or you can move it forward by offering the darn thing a carrot.
What ya going to do?

This country is in a job slump. Why would an employer keep on a neying, bucking jackass when they could have a literal block-long (or longer) line of applicants ready to replace the donkey? And, not only will many of the potential replacements be AS qualified, at least a few will be OVER-qualified. And, at least a few will have good work ethics.

I can think of a lot of reasons a donkey might not get fired. The boss may be busy, he or she may hate to fire people or may not want to deal with the people in line for a job around the block.

There may be nepotism involved, the person’s work may be highly specialized or up their neck in a project, they may be a favorite of a large client and a million other things that make it much less cut and dried.

My idea is a person keep THEIR job and the best to do that is to be both effective AND low maintenance, personally, just in case these other scenarios don’t exist.

In a perfect world, donkeys get fired but in the real world, one person’s donkey is often another person’s saint or sister-in-law.

My main idea though was that the person wanted to affect the situation and this is a way most don’t think of.

Also, this gal’s chart was sooooooo difficult, this tack has adds an element of compassion which reduces stress for all.