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Astrology-Based Advice: Wants Love, Needs Space in Relationships – Venus in Aspect To Uranus And Saturn

August 20th, 2010 @ 6:00 am by Elsa

Hi Elsa,

I have been going in and out of a relationship with a man that I’ve known for 4 years now. We are both very fond of each other, but we just can’t seem to get together. Every time we break up, something happens to bring us back together again… so it’s pretty obvious that someone, somewhere thinks that we should be together.

What’s going on?!
Wondering

Dear Wondering,

Venus Someone up there thinks you should be together… are you sure? Maybe someone up there thinks you should be apart! This is what has manifested repeatedly, yes?

I don’t have his chart but I think you’ve got a hard-core dilemma in yours: The minute you’re in a relationship, you want freedom. Three minutes after you get your freedom, you want to commit again! ::shakes head::

I really don’t think it has any to do with this specific man. He probably has a similar setup in his chart, but this pattern is yours, it is not subtle and you’ll constellate it with any man you meet.

With Uranus tied up with Venus, you want love without rules and restrictions. You have that same Venus tied up with Saturn which is driven to commit and be responsible in love. I think you’ll feel bereft without a relationship, so put that in your hopper as well. But you’ll never be rid of your urge towards independence and you’re just going to have to come to terms with this.

If you do come to terms, you can begin to communicate honestly with someone – perhaps this man. If you tell yourself the truth, it becomes possible to expose yourself to another and at that point, you just might get your needs met. And what are your needs? You need a committed partner who gives you lots of space. You don’t want him breathing down your neck every second.

If you think about this, you’ll see this is what you have with this man. It could be a lot cleaner though, so this is my advice: tidy up.

Good luck!

Astrology, Commitment, Relationship Patterns 8 comments | Posted at 6:00 am

8 Responses to “Astrology-Based Advice: Wants Love, Needs Space in Relationships – Venus in Aspect To Uranus And Saturn”

smiling girl

Thank you for this Elsa. It was as if this was written for me as well…add my 8th house Venus in Gemini to the above…It makes sense, and I have a little tidying of my own to take care of.

8/20/10 @ 11:57 am (reply)

cherie

I have Venus/Uranus, Venus/Saturn add Pluto in the 8th goin’ on. Sigh. He has Venus/Saturn and we both have Venus/Chiron – all oppositions and squares. We’re old farts so hopefully we can keep it together, honor our mutual need for time apart and not get lost or forget what we have with all of our Neptune. Double sigh.

8/20/10 @ 12:14 pm (reply)

Blessed Place

As anyone who has followed my post will guess, this really speaks to me.

I can only say that since I’ve started using astrology for advice over the last few months, which has given me enormous insight into what in my lover’s chart drives him to act in a certain way, it’s made the whole deal a lot easier to handle. The fact I have a strong need for my own space too does help of course – though it’s not so strong in my chart as his, where it’s overwhelming

In such cases, looking into a chart is so much more help than just talking to friends, who bring their own expectations to the table: “Don’t let him get away with it”, “You have to make him see that you…”, “You have to confron t him aobut…”, “He’s just using you”, etc etc.

All those things MAY be true, but there may be something else going on here – and I only tend to discuss the problem bits anyway so their view is necessarily more negative than the whole picture.

I don’t want advice to help me give him up dammit – I want advice which will help me to see clearly who and what he is, what in our relationship could be changed, how to approach that with some hope of success – and how to handle what can’t be changed.

8/20/10 @ 1:49 pm (reply)

H20Fire

it’s taken soo long and a lot of pain to realize this what you so smartly sum up… i have leo mars, venus & uranus conjunct leo rising, trine sag saturn, square my 4H scorpio moon & then a 12H cancer sun. I crave deep intimacy but want a lot of freedom, takes someone equally complicated to understand my need to NOT be micromanaged and have ‘space’ Alas, I have not yet found him… prior to astrology, i did not really understand duality about myself. Therapy helped a bit but astrology really clearly made me understand this about myself.

Elsa, you are a marvel!

8/20/10 @ 6:18 pm (reply)

kendall

tidy up: good advice during mercury retrograde in virgo, n’est pas?

8/20/10 @ 6:54 pm (reply)

mahchi

Venus sq Saturn, yes but a nice semi-sextile Venus to Sun/Merc and then Venus quintile Uranus and Pluto. Yes, I crave deep connective relationship but cannot bear micromanagement. I’m still looking …

8/20/10 @ 8:15 pm (reply)

von

I was looking at the actual planets, thinking I don’t have Venus tied up with Uranus but then it dawned on me… I have Venus in Aquarius. Duh! Silly me. Love without rules and restrictions… yep… I can relate to that.

8/21/10 @ 4:54 am (reply)

von

Oh and, to add to that, the Scorpio I’ve been seeing off and on for the last 4½ years (but we aren’t in a relationship) has his Scorpio Venus in the 11th house. He gets too emotionally involved for his own liking and runs but keeps coming back time after time… and I really don’t mind.

8/21/10 @ 4:59 am (reply)