To update my disappearance, I got blindsided some days ago and all the sudden I had my calendar packed with intense challenge. I am clear another hurdle today and now have more than a week long break. There will most likely be incoming between now and then probably later this week but my husband will be here so much less problem, whatever it might be.
I have such a GOAT feeling. Stress and strain and then I get to a ledge and rest and recover before the next push. It’s pretty funny.
With my Goat-like personality accepted and embraced, it is much easier to deal with things. At this age I can be pretty sure I am not going to fall from a ledge seeing as I have stood on 10,000 of them. I also appreciate the terrain and timing is laid out in such as way that while I might not have a cushy pillow, I most certainly have everything I need.
There is tremendous satisfaction in having the ability to navigate something that few could. I guess this is how my grandfather, Henry felt as he ran up his favorite mountain, ahead of the local hiking club, even though he was 50 years older than most of them.
The man was was a triple Capricorn – it’s a mountain, step aside!
36 Responses to “My Goat-ness”
Yeah, he had a presence that’s for sure. There is a huge advantage to knowing you’re going to or are in the process of climbing a mountain because so many are doing everything in their power to NOT climb a mountain and this allows me to move through their line pretty easily, once focused.
“It’s a mountain – step aside!”
This Cap Sun LOVES it!
Elsa, you did warn me during the consult 6-8 weeks ago that my family was under fire. I managed to live through the fire fight, but I’m losing my son. My Cap moon and his Cap sun are so assaulted right now. I’m in such a sad state right now, I haven’t been sleeping or eating much. I can’t talk to anyone and I’m so close to just letting myself fall off of the ledge. I’m not sure what’s keeping me from just letting go… This is the worst situation with him thus far… I’m so baffled as to what the next step should be… I really do feel like dying…
Oh, Read_em, I am so sorry. Very, very sorry. It won’t stay this way. It will not always be or feel this bad. 
He’s dying and I can’t do anything to save him. It is really bad. Crushing me and I can’t make it stop. I hope it eases up soon or it’s going to take me with him. It’s unbearable at this point. I’m 47 and this is the first time I’ve gotten this close to losing my sanity. My whole life has been shit and now this… I, too, was tossed out by my asshole parents when they divorced. I was 14. I can’t take much more…
(((Read_em_and_weep))) I so wish there was something I could do or say to help you step away from that ledge and save your son! All I can do is send you a virtual hug- but also know I’m thinking about you and sending you as much strength as I can and praying!
Elsa, I’m glad you’re getting a little bit of a break and you’ll have the Soldier’s presence soon as well! Hang in there!
Thank you both. I wish there was something I could do as well. An Aries like me doesn’t sit still well. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
Thank you Dixie. Seems like with Pluto sitting in my 8th on my moon, I’m losing much and many right now. I’m in pain, for sure.
((Read_em_and_weep)) I am so very sorry.
I’m so sorry, Read_em. wishing and praying for something, anything to help your son and help you, too. Please, hold on and hang in there?
(((((Read_em))))) just tell your son that you love him and will always support him… maybe time away will help him get perspective ~teenagers think they’re invincible.. I’m sure he’ll soon realize its not easy being out on your own!
on a lighter note… 2 more weeks of school and its on to the next highest mountain this Cap moon can find!! my Saturn in Libra always told me you get what you give.. but my Cap moon gives me the drive to work hard and get what I want, even if it takes a few more years than it should!! <3
Joining with our friends here at Elsa’s to offer my support and send you loving hugs and good vibes to help you make it through this. My heart goes out to you and your son, and you both are in my prayers – today and every day.
Hang in there Read_em!! Things always look darkest before the Light – seriously sweetie.
Take yourself off that hook, draw a bath, drink some tea, whatever you can to make yourself calm. Send the love to your son, and bless him for the gift of safety and wisdom.
Lots of ((((((((Read_em)))))))
(((read em)))
So sorry for your pain – please turn to anyone you can, who can offer support. I do pray things turn around soon……
(((((Read_em)))))
(((read’em))))
(((((read ‘em)))))
I’m a double cap myself and am feeling the fire very intensely—I’m 39 and at least have some experience with intense difficulty (like Elsa said, I’m feeling my “goatness”), I can’t imagine what it would be like for your teenage son. My thoughts are with you both!
(((read_em)))
I hope you find a ledge to rest on and my thoughts and prayers for you and your son.
{{Read’em}}
By the gods I hope relief from your pain comes fucking soon.
((Read’em)) I am so sorry about all your pain, hang in there as best you can…..”the goat” in you can persevere until the sun comes up and shines some hope on you and your son.
So very sorry, wishing you relief from your pain.
Elsa´s got goatitude!
read ´em – i keep my fingers cross for a safe way out of your pains for you. Don´t give up.
Thank you to everyone! I so appreciate all of the prayers, thoughts and support you have shown here. I don’t know what else I can do except give this up to The Universe and let what happens, happen. My son, just for some background, is thirty. He has a son who is eight. I love them both so very much. This has me twisted up in knots inside. I am feeling more steady today than I have in nearly three weeks. I’m backed down off the edge and holding myself in check. I can’t tell you all how much your support means right now. Just the level of caring you’ve all shown me has made such a difference. I wasn’t going to unload this on anyone, but I decided to try and see what happened if I tried to find relief. I have found it, through the kind people on these boards. You’re all beautiful souls. Thank you again. I’m overwhelmed by this much love. (((Elsa and the Lovely Souls here)))
(((Read em))) Some of the worst my feelings have ever been hurt is by my kids. I care more about them than anyone else, so when they hurt, I hurt.
My heart goes out to you. I know eventually your family will find peace and the way back to each other.
We are like a wide net that can disperse the load.. so feel free to unload anytime you need the relief. *hugs*
What liz said – definitely. This is an awesome community and I have found myself shoring up my sanity here a few times, as well. I’m glad to be part of the net all the other times.
Elsa, I apologize for hi-jacking your post on “goat-ness” with my outburst. I so did not mean to do that. And your grandpa was a hottie, btw. I am feeling more together. I tried to go back to San Diego to get my dental work finished, which is a 1000+ mile trip from home for me. I was almost to Tucson when my dentist’s office called and told me he has pink eye and we rescheduled for Monday. So, I turned around and headed back home (8+ hours of driving- again) I broke two molars clenching my jaw from the stress while I was in San Diego trying to help my son in July… The dentist I found was the bight spot of my visit, if you can imagine that! A dentist who actually cares and is doing some cubic zirconia crowns on me for the price of the porcelain fused to metal. Some $300 difference – per crown. What a guy! He refused to put in the PFM crowns because my grinding is so bad that I have eight more teeth that are cracked. He showed me the pics and discussed it at length with me. I have a ton of dental work to get finished. I knew that already, haven’t been able to really enjoy hot or cold foods or drinks for years now… However, I digress. To say my life is a series of hard-core cluster- fuck situations right now seems like an understatement. I didn’t mean to bring your post down, but if I hadn’t written what I did, when I did and gotten some kind responses like I did, I really think I may have done something stoopid… Thanks again for the support. You all are lovely people – and I mean that! This blog is my lifeline…
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I know thats your gramps, but I’m gonna say it anyway… Henry was Hot.