Dixie’s Daily Tarot, June 24, 2010: Saturn in Virgo Knows I’m a Freak
Astrology Meets Tarot
Since Elsa asked about the last gasp of Saturn in Virgo and lessons learned, I started wondering. Did I do a good job? Did I make the most of it?
I pulled a Tarot card on the question, completely expecting to see some symbolic depiction of my great big (Mars/Mercury) mouth. After all, that’s what I’ve been kvetching about throughout Saturn in Virgo—managing communication, deciding which parts of me can be expressed publically, and which will just freak people the heck out! With tenth house moon squaring natal Saturn in the 7th, transiting Saturn hitting my first and second houses, this seemed an appropriate task.
I have to tell you, the process felt next to impossible; I have yet to find consensus on what falls into the “freakout-weird” category versus the “charmingly eccentric” category. All I’m completely sure of is that I’m perceived both ways—sometimes by the same audience.
I pulled the Three of Coins. Even though I wasn’t expecting him, I couldn’t be happier with the surprise. Old man (Saturn) appears as a skilled craftsman (Virgo). Each of his three coins demonstrate his increasing levels of skill. He’s not looking to earlier efforts with disappointment, however, nor to the blank coins on the shelves behind him with anticipation of what he’ll create “someday.” He is completely focused in the present—the only point in time in which he has any direct influence.
I work online; after getting on Facebook and Twitter, I began getting hooked up with clients as well as friends on social media. This left a quandary as my personal and professional life began to collide. Heck—I have many clients who haven’t even seen my picture. How are they going to react exposed to my personality and belief system, full force?
I could continue to hide, but why? I am almost 45 years old. At this age, if I can’t just be me for God’s sakes, when will it happen, y’kno? I’d rather have some people decide I’m a freak and be done with it than trying to figure it out in advance. I want to live my life as well as I know how, help as many people as I can along the way, and remain happily oblivious to those who deem me insane.
So I publicly promote my husband’s political blog; I’m proud of what he’s doing. I link to Elsa’s forecasts; they help people who listen. I link to my personal blog and I promote the work I’m doing here. And anybody can take it or leave it, but it sure feels a lot more honest to just to lay it on the table.
I’m not saying this doesn’t have impact. After reading my Tarot posts here, one of the folks I’ve worked with (closely enough he should know better) asked me if I was on drugs. Uhhh, no. He evidently got over it, since we’ve done business together since. But there will be others who think the same, no doubt having too much Libra to say so directly.
Threes in the Tarot focus on creativity. The three of coins (Earth) translates into a grounded, tangible brand of birthing. I’ve been changing the nature of what I create by upping the integrity (Saturn) of my writing (Virgo). With this accomplished craftsman showing up to confirm, I have faith I’m on the right track as Saturn scoots out of Virgo.
Are you happy with how honestly you present yourself? Are you driven to hide from people who don’t understand you?
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Legacy of the Divine Tarot by Ciro Marchetti |
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14 Responses to “Dixie’s Daily Tarot, June 24, 2010: Saturn in Virgo Knows I’m a Freak”
Love this piece, Dixie. 
I will consider this in my own life.
Love your use of R. Crumb, too!
being true to yourself is the best gift you can give to others…if you have to hide certain things about you in order to get along, how honest are you? the funny thing is that the stuff that we hide is most of the time the best part of ourselves…This transit of saturn in virgo has forced me to stop hiding(going through my 12 house conjunct pluto for a while ) and then going through my 1 house…the funny thing is that most of my fears are disappearing…the more I am true to myself, the more the people around me feel OK about being who they are…what a blessing!!!
thanks for this morning’s reading…
Goddess, this is so good! I was so happy when your photo popped up; after some years of interacting with you online it was so nice to see this beautiful, open face looking at me:)
Yes, I am absolutely driven to hide from people who don’t understand me. Old habits die hard.
Several years ago while Pluto was conjunct my ASC and I was experiencing my SR I had a series of profoundly affecting past-life experiences regarding persecution. Long story short: I try every day to shake off the chains.
ReikiHeart…God bless you for sharing that. I’ve got that kind of thing going on as well. It’s a bitch, and you presented a way for me to cope with it so I don’t have to choke on it or beat the hell out of the ex. (And yes, I could, thankyouverymuch.)
Dixie, this is a great post for me! I have Saturn opposing Uranus in my natal chart, and the whole Saturn thing has been brutal. I also walk a fine line between charmingly eccentric (LMAO) and WTF weird. Living in such a small community, it took a very very long time for me to feel like a local “character” rather than the freak I always thought I was.
It’s a constant battle. We are harder on ourselves than anyone else is.
Scorpio rising I try to hide myself as much as possible. If someone I knew discovered me here I would be mortified. Not that I’m ashamed but exposed and with virgo secret lives and all that I have a real need to be in the shadows. The light hurts my eyes and I’m happier under the rocks.
Yes Goddess, I have always kept part of myself hidden. It takes a while for me to trust people. Then again, maybe I’m not sure of everything inside of me, maybe I am taking a while to open up to my own self. Mercury in 12th house Libra. Balance between inner and outer communication?
Love the card. The craftsman, what could be better? And very encouraging after all the chains and burdens and breaking free stuff. Breaking free in order to…. Create! We move forward.
Great post Dixie! And for what it’s worth, I think your true self is awesome!
@ReikiHeart- Thanks for sharing your experience! I can so relate- it is very similar to my own. I was rejected (after a very public devorce) in a very small community (an Island no less- nowhere to hide), and I can confidently say that knives in my back aren’t fatal. It forced me to hold my head high and rely on the fact that ‘I knew’ I wasn’t the horrid person being whispered about… It also helped to show me ‘who’ were really my true friends. This was particularly difficult with my private Scorpio Moon/Rising. But, it’s been freeing, and has opened the door for me to be authentic on-line as well.
Are you driven to hide from people who don’t understand you?
Naah. I’m not deliberately in anyone’s face, but I don’t hide who I am any more. Sun/Saturn/Ascendant stacked in Gemini, and Mercury conjunct Ascendant = I put myself out there pretty up front
I am driven to hide in some things, yes. I am driven to be too revealing in others! Witness the balancing act.
“I have yet to find consensus on what falls into the “freakout-weird” category versus the “charmingly eccentric” category. All I’m completely sure of is that I’m perceived both ways—sometimes by the same audience.”
Oh my, yes.
@ ReikiHeart ” What other people think of me, is actually none of my business. ” so wise! I’ll post this above my desk!
@ Dixie kudos for integrity and bravery!
Blunt Sag and a private 8th house have me dance back and forth between outspokenness and hiding. While this last Pluto transit reminded me that some personal things may be better off being selectively shared, in the end I have no regrets: better loosing those people now then later, ex included, and knowing who my true friends are. Ok I have a chip on my shoulder here too because my family not understanding me bothers me way too much lately and reflects on or rather is a reflection of my, ah, dysfunctionality.
Loving one warts and all… and not caring oterwise…
(((((krisinluck, CArRiE))))) I’m happy to share some of my strength with others. I have a 12th h. sun, so it’s not exactly Teflon for me, but that concept has helped me immeasurably. It caused a shift in my whole paradigm, really.
Dixie, I hope you will never hold back on being your wonder-full self, full throttle. I am thrilled and excited to know such a brilliant woman as yourself ! I love your insights on Tarot, and look forward to them.
@grrr — you’re more than welcome to post that quote at your desk, but the only part I can take credit for is not the origin of that idea, but the practical application of it in my life. It really does work !
Love to all…
i really like the idea of tarot being apart of the collective unconscious b/c all your cards are hitting home w/ me. i just finished my 3rd day of training today and am focused on making this new position the best experience i can by being aware and dedicated to the work in front of me =)
Thank you all for the interesting discussion.
ReikHeart- Thank you.
Space- I just got the “Tarot as a Way of Life – A Jungian Approach to Tarot” and it’s fascinating. I’ll definitely be sharing some of that here…
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I’m not driven to hide from anyone.
When I was getting divorced, a total assassination on my character ensued from my ex and his allies. At times, this bothered me so much that I would go into vomiting fits, and lose handfuls of my long, red mane; in the shower. I would call my Al-Anon sponsor, while sobbing ‘Why are they doing this, they KNOW that they’re lying about me !’. Her reply was ” What other people think of me, is actually none of my business. ” I was expecting sympathy, and instead I get a challenge. I had to turn this over in my psyche, and find where to apply it – which turned out to be ‘everywhere’ – before I could even start to wrap my mind around it. That certainly did’nt happen in the space of one phone call, it was a process.
Once I got it though, it has been very liberating. It only applies if one keeps their ‘side of the street clean’. You live with honesty and integrity in your dealings with your self and others, and focus your energy in that endeavour; then you may find that not only do not have time to pay attention to naysayers and haters, they deserve none of your energy anyway.
For someone who found myself raising three of my four kids alone, plus being entirely responsible for myself; getting this concept of relating has been liberating, a real miracle. ‘Getting it’ does’nt license anyone to crap on other people by any stretch, if anything; it demands focused, consistent integrity. It demands that I keep the focus on myself, and not what ‘the other guy’ is doing.
So no, I don’t suffer with any reservations about my public persona, I carefully consider my audience. I’m professional where I need to be professional, and considerate of friends when I’m being a friend. My family will never understand me, but that stopped bothering me decades ago.