Speaking of deal breakers in relationship, my husband always says that you can’t turn blood on blood. To me, old friends are like blood.
I think it is always a mistake to bad mouth a person’s family, even if the person speaks poorly about their family themselves as these roots are very deep.
When you attack a person’s family, you attack them. When you attack and criticize their friends, you attack them as well. Same when you attack a person’s spouse.
As far as I am concerned when you go after a person’s inner circle, you pretty much force them to defend against you. If a person has to defend themselves, their family or their friends against you it’s probably just a matter of time before you get the boot, not that this stops people from doing this.
It is really pretty common someone will come into another person’s life and move to be alpha dog aka your new best friend. Some do this by undermining the people already in your life; a foolish way to go in the long run because when people grew up together (like and Annalisa and I) or have been friends for a number of years, you can rest assured there has been some currency exchanged.
By that I mean if a relationship has been sustained for 5 or 10 or 20 or 30 years, you can be sure that favors have been done in both directions. The parties have been challenged in their relationship and seen it stand, “the test of time”, as they say. People who can’t stand the test of time don’t have any old friends.
Ten years ago, I met HQ and around the same time I met this other gal who I liked a lot. I liked the hell out of her actually and she knew HQ and I were friends. Why then, did she attack him?
I didn’t understand it at the time. HQ extended himself to her simply because I liked her and she was nasty to him. She was just… nasty.
I am embarrassed of my attitude at the time. I told, HQ, sorry but she is not nasty to me. He quit interacting with her and I continued. A few weeks later she was uber-nasty to me and I also quit interacting with her.
Interesting situation. Was the woman just “nasty” where she winds up attacking whoever? Did she want to belittle HQ as in cock-block him so she would be my number one friend? Did she sense we were going to build something like we have and want to destroy it? I don’t know but I learned a lot from her.
With Saturn in Libra, most will try to build relationships with others so I suppose this is a cautionary tale. If someone attacks your inner circle, it’s very bad sign. If you are someone who attacks a person’s inner circle, I’d say that’s a losing tactic.
Anyone else have experience with this?
27 Responses to ““You Can’t Turn Blood On Blood…””
Two thoughts on this:
1.) My saying is “piss on your own trees”. Civility is required at all times. You don’t have to like someone I like, but please respect that they are in MY life, not yours.
2.) The above applies unless that person affects the other in a negative way that cannot be avoided.
For example:
Mr. Gemini is friends with a guy who is a comuplsive liar and a thief. This guy has stolen from him. He stole a CB radio that was marked definitively with connectors Mr. G took home from working at a company that has been out of business for ages. Then he lied and said he bought it at a store, and later lied again and changed his story to “your ex gave it to me”.
He ALSO stole stack of new car tires out of his basement before we lived together.
Mr. Gemini was balls to the wall PISSED in the beginning but began to soften for reasons only known to him. He’s now friendly with this chap again.
If you’re willing to forgive and forget, that’s fine. Keep this preson -away- from my house. I don’t want him anywhere NEAR it and I don’t want to associate with him in any way.
That is where I draw the line.
Ya, it’s happened and it always just amazes me. Just this last month a gal came to me, bad mouthing a friend of mine… ‘knowing’ that she was a friend of mine! It was all I could do to keep a straight face, and of course I went right to my friend and alerted her to this back-stabber. My friend asked me how she should confront this backstabber without letting on that I was the one that told her. I told her not to worry about it- maybe it will teach her a lesson and she won’t be stupid enough to bitch at me in the future.
It may be the exception and it may be rare, but yes you can turn blood on blood.
Doreen, I agree there is an exception to every rule BUT when someone does turn blood on blood, if you check 10, 15, 20 years down the road you might find the blood winds up back with the blood.
My sister attacked my husband. I was really mad at her. I don’t usually get mad and stay mad at the people that I love. But I was mad for quite a while. It was very upsetting to her, because I don’t hold grudges. I am not critical of her and I am very supportive. I usually let her have her way. But she crossed the line when she was insulting my husband.
flip, I am with you… as is my sister and my husband. Our spouses trump our family of origin but our spouses don’t bad mouth our blood!
Dude 
! What an absolute zinger this article is. Bravo!
I have long-term friends. Very long-term friends. The kind of friends that, if you cause a problem for, well, you and I (and perhaps half of Brooklyn, NY) are gonna have a problem.
As far as my family is concerned, only I can talk sh*t — true sh*t, but still sh*t– about them because I’ve lived with them. If you haven’t lived with my family, then STFU.
People do not know “who they are”
Hard days isn’t it?
The scapegoat has left the building.
Time of justice. :s
My dad attacked my husband, my husband has never, ever attacked my dad. That incident didn’t bode very well for my dad. We stopped talking for a long while. We might share blood, but my dad has a history of douchebaggery and he can be really manipulative and lousy sometimes. Which is why I left the nest as soon as I could.
On the other hand, anyone who badmouths my dad (or anyone I love) is poop tempura.
Yes, I agree (and also that there are exceptions to every rule — I have Libra)!
I have a situation where I dumped a friend in my inner circle (of lifetime — over 40-years– friends) because she messed up, wouldn’t admit her mess, lied about it and then tried to put the blame on another friend in the circle. The issue involved only the three of us, and I have total proof of her lie, but she is choosing to not fess up. The other friends understand the issue, but are still relating to her, and I’m not stopping them since they weren’t directly involved. I’m not one to say “if you see her I won’t see you”. Because I feel it’s only a matter of time until she spins out of control there, too. I also must add: she’s the “newest” person in the circle…. old blood trumps usually trumps new blood, too.
I’ll fess up that I have been feeling a little (ok, a lot) nasty lately and have really wanted to bad mouth everyone and everything, but I realize it is me and not them, so I’ve just sort of shut down for awhile. I try to stand by the old cliche, if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all. And even when it is them, I am not communicating very effectively lately and feel like I’m just digging a bigger hole.
Edit of my above comment “old blood usually trumps new blood, too.”
nicely said. i needed this insight.
Timely but Man…to late for me!..as usual!
This crap goes on in my family. My father says the nastiest things about my brother’s wife – never to him of course. He says it to me and I have to tell him to shut up and threaten to leave if he doesn’t.
If I love you, you’re blood….that goes for a friend or a family member. The circle is small; I’ll defend it with my life.
I have experienced this over and over–being the “blood” that new people want to step over to get to my closest girlfriend, who is like a sister to me. She is a really good woman–I can’t blame them for wanting to get closer to her. They don’t realize that their behaviour is transparent and she will truncate a relationship with a person who’s mean to me, because (a) I am not a mean person and (b) I am forever extending a hand to in-comers. Seriously WTF? You’ve been spotted…
And another thing: what a lameass way to make friends–by crapping on the person they want to befriend’s nearest and dearest. Hellloooooo, are you for real?
I have seen People in a Group sometimes Use the Place where they are sit on that Group to make Wrong things expecting the Group help them do the wrong Thing and it Often Works!!!
So the affect friendship and good feelings !!!
Until a Brilliant person puts things on its
place !!!
Doing Wrong Things is Wrong and we should care about having Brilliant Persons Near !!!
Blessings !!!
Really good post Elsa, especially what you said about forcing the person to defend. I am so loyal, anyone who doesn’t realize that will find out the hard way. I remember just after my ex and I split he said all sorts of nasty things about a lady I know, sort of a casual acquaintance, but still a friend. He was shouting at me, and told me what he thought her husband should do with her, etc. I was actually shocked down deep, and the thing was, he was making it all up, it was off the top of his head. So he not only gained nothing, he sunk–really, really stupid. What an ass.
I was so deeply offended at how he had totally misread my friend and her situation–but honestly it was just further proof that I could not trust him. And come on, I’m a Scorpio–I just don’t forget. Not that he even knows I’m a Scorpio, lol.
reminds me of the springsteen song, highway patrolman: me an’ frankie laughin’ and drinkin’; nothin’ feels better than blood on blood…
I’ve had the odd reversal of this scenario where I’m the new person and the “old blood” badmouths my friend to me or to others and I hear about it. what to do then? ugh.
satori I’ve witnessed that too and it is awful.
Really good post, Elsa, w/your usual laser-like insight.
I’ve been in both positions as well, where someone is badmouthing blood to me or I’m the ‘new’ person that’s getting bad-mouthed by someone from the group — it’s all ugly either way and I’ve found it’s best to not even engage the toxic ones — the Universe has its own way of taking care of them.
So true – blood is blood, and even if they’re not speaking, they will at some time, so it’s best not to even go there.
We are organizing a family reunion, you should hear the stuff I’m hearing! “Is so-and-so going to be there, ‘coz if they are, I’m not going, you know what they did to me?” But it’s all water off a duck’s back, ‘coz I’m not getting involved in anyone else’s drama!
My grandmother constantly bad mouths my Mum to me. I love my grandmum, but I always defend my Mum partly I think because my Mum and I are so alike, but my grandmum and I are complete opposites. But my grandmum also bad mouths me to my Mum…. so there’s a lot of tension in the family. Or Blood turning on Blood.
Yeah, Bubbles but what would happen if someone started telling your grandmother your mother sucked. Then she’s problem side with your mother..
Get A Consultation
Schedule a consultation by phone
Schedule a consultation by email
Read what clients have said about usThanks, we look forward to working with you! :-) - Elsa P
Order a Report
Order a Transit Report
Order a Solar Return Report
Order a Relationship Composite Report
Order both relationship reports, save 10%
Order a Lunar Return ReportHeads Up from Elsa P!
Sign up below to get my free weekly email newsletter covering the astrology of the next week. I send this email out every Thursday.
Recent Blog Comments
- music4am: You're very welcome Elsa, Angie
- mistyoga: I'd say Sun. You are absolutely Authentic.
- Cyress723: I am just coming out of the worst 5 years of my life, I was help...
- dorchid: Yes! And I did it by doing exactly what you state here. Fascinat...
- dorchid: I voted Jupiter. Saturn seems obvious but I think the story-tell...
- Elsa: Thanks, Angie. :)
- music4am: I agree with Michele, so I didn't vote either ;). There are have...
Recent Board Posts
I’d like to know a person who hasn’t had any experience with this