Hi Elsa,

My first time writing on this blog even though I have been reading it daily for a year now. I absolutely agree with the above. I have Pluto in my first house and normally keep my stuff very private. Well on Friday last I was speaking to someone at work and I found myself telling them how dearly I would love a relationship now, and then told me about prior relationships that didn’t work out and how I was afraid of it all happening again. I couldn’t believe I was opening up even this amount – it’s just not me with really personal stuff. I felt slightly ashamed all weekend, then thought, well it’s not so bad. Jupiter also in my first and Uranus in my second house.

Thank you for your wisdom and timely advice.

Dee

Oh and DeeC, now you’ve published! You too, Shaina. I think you’ll be amazed at the FAST progress you can make it this time.

((((AriesSun))))

AriesSun, your character shines here… you are a very strong example of the EXALTED Sun in Aries.

I wish I could release my secret but it’s not a secret- more of a collection of feelings.

oh yes, often I censor 100%. Write and never post. I recently let a few of these heads out on a board thread here. Even though I felt like going back and editing or deleting, TMI, too dark, this time I let it be … sigh. I see the ElsaElsa Board has a safe heaven for plutonic and 8th house stuff so why am I worried about having used my real name? no one who would be horrified or shocked comes here anyway and if they do they don’t hang out for very long. gah, I’m still somewhat conflicted…

Hah, that’s how my November went.

Another Pluto in the first.

Smiles and nods in agreement. I’m feeling I just may jump the barrier any day!!!! (revvvvvvvvv…)

Go, AriesSun! *hugs*

Very timely thought Elsa, as I have seen this too. People just coming right out saying ‘this is the way things REALLY are!’ No more crap. Whoa, lots of revelations coming to light. The unburdening of burdens a long time on shoulders that don’t want to carry it anymore. I love it when people are blatantly honest!

I have a pretty freakish physical deformity. And I keep it secret as I am just not confident enough to rise above people’s obvious repulsion. And this restricts my lifestyle and choices and physical healthcare screenings to a degree.

I have mourned and gnashed over this, but can’t seem to gain any in your face, I love who I am, what you think of me is none of me business open kind of attitude. I live in secret hidden shame.

On a somewhat related note, I think:

I’ve had quite a few people from my past, that I had lost touch with but had been important to me, contact me from out of the blue recently. It’s like, revealing ourselves anew, re-establishing lines of communication, but deeper now, somehow. Certainly older and wiser.

Really interesting. Lots of it happening in late May, Early June. Here’s a twist: In around 2000,( a Mars-y kind of guy, while a hairdresser)- died suddenly. His co-workers wouldn’t talk, the salon owner wouldn’t talk, and I felt bereft and without a way to express myself, talk to people about him. You know who you love, you know? And all these years I’ve thought about it. I don’t even have a picture, and I tried. Like it was some big secret.

Well, last week I met a woman who also knew him. Strange it came up (in a public place, while there was an actual TV broadcast going on!). We both cried on the spot. I think it’s time for a real memorial. It was like his death was supposed to be ignored, whyt? I can’t tell you how it felt to share that with somebody, who also recognized this man as special. I mean, we cried. In front of people.

Neptune on the AC in Scorpio, Venus in Scorpio 1st house, here. And, Mari, I’m sorry for the distress you feel. It’s incredible how wide the range of responses we have to our own selves. I’m lucky to be physically pretty “normal.” And OK looking. As somebody put it long ago, “I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eatin’ crackers.” However, I have most of my life felt so self-conscious and awful about “self” that I avoided department stores for the mirrors. Freaked me right out. I have known a girl with Apert’s syndrome and tons of physical issues who has much more self confidence than I, with all her deformities. Elsa said “brainwashed.”

The book “Middlesex” by Eugenides is a good picture of coming to terms with who one really is. I identified with the process in general, though the character was more self-assured and brave than I, and against great odds. I used to let even my imagined shortcomings keep me way down. Still feel that way, but work on transcending that kind of impulse, like YESTERDAY. Time to roll out that mental airbrush if that’s what it takes (do the Neptune) and give ourselves a break. Easier said than done, and good luck to you!