Relationship Jams Unparalleled… And Saturn In Libra
Astrology in real life
I was talking to satori today, told her I’ve been working with a lot of people in relationship jams of all kinds. Many people are in very painful situations and wanting to make the right choice because they can see or sense whatever decision they make will have long term consequences.
The scenarios are endless but they have hallmarks in common and at the base of all of them is this: People don’t want to mess up at this point in their life. They can sense it’s a critical juncture so they are gathering facts and sorting them carefully.
I told satori I was working very hard to give very good advice and then I realized why and it pissed me off. It’s because no one did this for me!
I am talking about 28 years ago when I was agonizing over what to do about my husband. I got no good advice at all. My husband got good advice, from both family and friends but I got nothing of the sort. Matter of fact, I was told stupid things like his family would have me killed if I left him. How do you parse that as a teen?
Anyway, I am the adult now and I will be damned if I give lousy advice when your love is at stake. Reason being I have suffered and endured the consequences of low and no advice, firsthand.
I am sure these hard conversations are the way to go because we’re going into a 28.5 cycle here and people’s senses are right. Decisions made at this juncture are enormously important.
Signed,
Learned the hard way
Are you in a relationship jam?
29 Responses to “Relationship Jams Unparalleled… And Saturn In Libra”
I’m in a relationship jam with myself, and carefully extricating myself from jams with others. I am one of those carefully sorting information and weighing my next move. I don’t want to trap myself in misery in the name of “love” again.
That’s great you want to provide good advice, Elsa. It’s sorely needed. I think all of us are in these jams because there has been quite the shortage of good advice.
(Or maybe in my case a shortage of willingness to listen to good advice. 
)
Absolutely! I got it coming and going. Neptune is saying “dream away, make a wish, click your heals and it will all come true!” Saturn is saying “you better take responsiblity for your relationship, figure out whose who or else”, Pluto is saying “I am going to blow you out of the water if you don’t do SOMETHING!” and Uranus and Jupiter are saying “go ahead roll the dice! Anything can happen!” UGH!
I have a very Saturn-themed chart, and looking back, when I did the Saturn thing, things turned out better. I’m faced with having to do that again, and the worst that can happen is people think I’m a goody-goody with a stick up my ass. I can live with that. 
Well, this explains why I am feeling like jumping out of my own skin! Elsa, you did a consult for me around my birthday last year (end of October) and were spot on- relieved that I’ve gotten through a broken engagement (It all exploded around November 08) after a 6 year relationship with I guy I kind of always knew was not my “right person”. Had my heart a little bruised last summer, but was okay, and currently getting over/still figuring out a romance that started when I was 19, and kept running into each other coincidentally at 23, 27, and most recently, at 36 in a *really* outlandish and unbelievable set of coincidences. So, he pretty much said it was a no-go, but I don’t really like or believe his answer… 
Anyhow, being pragmatic, I’m starting to date again, online, making it to the 2nd date (the guys like me and ask me out again, I’m just scared sh!tless!) and trembling in my boots because *this* time, I’m not worried about whether they like me, which was a way of distracting myself from the real issue– *whether I like them*! (radical, I know) and completely terrified and heartbroken, because while they are nice guys, they just don’t feel like my right person…. and I feel like Gonzo- a one of a kind weirdo… looking for my right weirdo.
Really thought my coincidence guy was my right weirdo. 
Aaaanyhow, long story short, yep. I feel you 100%.
Ingy
yes and it’s making me insane
i don’t mean to be obtuse or insensitive but it’s hard for me to imagine you not knowing what to do! i guess we were all young and green once.
YES! Relationship JAM!
venus, I had no idea what to do. I was a teenager, I had no parents, I just went to town and tried to blend which was rather impossible.
Left me to tell my husband I was not going to marry him for this reason:
“Tucson is an Estes home town.”
It was a commercial jingle on tv at the time and the best I could come up with. I never elaborated.
I did talk to adults, lots of them but they only saw my hologram and told me I should marry a dentist or a doctor.
If was all pretty baffling to me because while that is a normal thing to tell a young girl – I’d never heard anything like it because I did not grow up normal.
This is not to say I didn’t know anything. I knew some stuff all right. I knew enough at 17 years old to put together a sexual harassment lawsuit against my boss, long before Anita Hill or “sexual harassment” was even something people had heard of but this did not mean I knew how to get married by any stretch of the imagination because I did not.
Yup. I had no one telling me at 19 that it was a bad idea to marry a man with leftover VietNam PTSD who tortured and killed neighborhood cats and put me in the hospital, too. It was also not addressed that at 25, marrying a trust-fund drug addict might not be in my best interests, either. All they wanted, the people in my life at the time, was for me to get a husband, and pronto. It’s all I can do to be in the same room with them now. Do you think I ask their advice now?
Strangely, no. I need to be responsible and that’s critical, but I’m not feeling jammed.
Thank you for explaining how I am feeling Dawn…And Elsa…in the same boat here…Had to learn to trust my instincts because people will give you advice on what they think is good for you without taking YOU into account…most of the time, they don’t really know you…
mermaid, there is that and another thing really common is people tell you what you want to hear – only.
furiana, I am not jammed either but I think it’s because I have a commitment. To my husband, my family, this blog, HQ and the Mechanic, my friends, my dogs… a vision of my future..
yes. Even though single , seperated for over a year, answer still yes!!
Many times I’ve also encountered the reverse problem – when you just want to talk to someone about a situation in your life, and if they’re empathetic, they’ll sit and listen, and occasionally throw in an observation or two, and then, when you finished, you feel as if things are clearer in your head for having laid them out on the table, so to speak. What bugs me is the amount of people who, as soon as they’ve worked out the general subject of your dilemma, will then proceed to give you a 10-point list of advice. And of course, they’re not talking about you, they’re talking about themselves (which is the incentive for so many people to open their mouths, sadly).
I used to be like that, too, but nowadays I don’t give advice unless I’m asked – thetre’s little point otherwise, is my opinion, as nobody’s listening to you.
I know at least three people in a relationship jam right now; they complain incessantly (at least it feels that way to my listening ear) about their “situation” which they admit is not what/who they want…but. No action. And this stuff has been going on for years, the no action bit. How much info. do they need? I get that it’s a huge decision. I am so hoping that by the time Saturn is back in Libra and Uranus hits Aries that they will not have only made a decision, but actually have done something. We’ll see. (Did I mention two of the three situations involve Libras? ) My best friend (Libra) I keep listening to–but the other two? I just can’t take the endless loop anymore, so I’ve pulled back. I hope they figure it out. As for me? I have a situation I know needs to end as well. I must cut the cord with one person but I’m dragging my a** about it. But I have ceased to discuss the situation with anyone, which is a major difference. It is already clear, I know I’ve got to walk. Just waiting for the right moment for those shoes to move. Excuse? maybe. But timing is everything, as we know.
No jams. No nothing. Just me. I am having a relationship with me and we’re doing just fine. I feel for those of you going through it though. Been there, glad to be alone right now.
Saturn in Libra…so that’s what’s going on! I’ve been tussling with the idea of renewing an old friendship that ended badly many years ago. I couldn’t get over the sense that I needed to get every word just right even though it probably wouldn’t matter if this person returned my friendship at this point and time or not. We’ve both gone our separate ways and have full lives of our own. Still, it seems so pivotal. I’ve had a lot of difficulty just communicating for the past couple of months, too. Feel like the words come out all wrong…
I’m in a relationship jam alright. With me. And with my career. Or maybe I’m not in a jam at all it might be that I’m just removing blinders. Whatever it is, it’s making me beyond uncomfortable. And usually, I am the truth teller but I don’t know what my truth is right now. And that, that is a jam indeed.
I can’t help but sympathize with you guys on the lack of love advice when we need it most. And Bless Elsa for making it a point to be there for those that need it..
I could’ve used some advice last year when I ended a 5yr live-in relationship on Valentine’s Day because it felt a little stagnant. It was frightening to make that decision without ANY family or friends’ support.. I still think it was the right choice. But as lonely as it can be trying to figure it all out on our own, something tells me this lack of support is helping us build some strong emotional muscles.
I definitely feel more emotionally self-sufficient and confident in my lifestyle choices as a result!
(It still sucks not having people there when you need advice tho!)
YES Relationship JAM! I need to fix it soon too coz I cant keep going like this
Elsa-
For the record,I think your advice is very sound.
I compare it to having to take medicine that doesn’t always taste good. We may resist, but it’s ultimately for our benefit. If we choose not to take it, or use “alternative” methods, the ailment may last twice as long or get worse.
So, thank you.
Yes.
“People don’t want to mess up at this point in their life. They can sense it’s a critical juncture so they are gathering facts and sorting them carefully.”
MmHmm.
I can totally relate, but you know once I pass on the depth of wisdom gained from my learning the hard way stuff it all becomes worthwhile and I am very grateful for those like you Elsa who share so willingly.
yes, i am. thank you very much for mentioning that.
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Kind of. One of those blessings/curses about being involved with multiple partners: you get a group to share your burdens (which to me is mortifying!), and you get to step up and help share everyone’s burdens. One of my partners is deeply burdened right now. So I am a little more burdened than whatever my baseline is.
Wouldn’t trade it for the world.