The Saturn / Jupiter Uranus opposition aspects my Moon and you can’t get more personal than that. I feel like I am going to my future, fast with the brake on and if there is a way to go through this without some raggedy edges, I can’t see it. The evidence of this is all over this blog.

I’m in contact with family (Moon) I’ve not seen since I was about 7 years old. I know better than to get attached as I caught a hard lesson when I got in touch my friend’s family some months ago when I was writing that story about my teenage years.

When Jupiter and Uranus are involved, you just can’t cling to people. You have to leave them free to come and/or go.  They usually go and all you can do is be glad for whatever gifts or pieces of the story they bestow on you.

I give generously in cases like this but it’s literally generous to a fault as my communication is often overwhelming when people first come across it. Hitting me is like hitting a paying slot machine which everyone thinks they would like to do until they are standing their up to their neck in coins.  Whoops. You see the Saturn end of this – rejection.

From another angle, I am trying to expand (Jupiter) in business (Saturn) working with women (Moon) on the internet (Uranus). I don’t know how it looks from the front (and we are barely getting started) but behind the scenes it’s taxing, especially with Mercury Rx.

Again it is personal to me.. My name is on the blog and this place. elsaelsa.com represents 10 years of solid (and relentless) effort, where most of those years my family was in intense crisis, not even fathomable to most. To say I care how this comes out is an understatement where at the same time I know I’ve got let go control because the site has become more than one person can maintain on their own.

What shocks me is Jupiter and Uranus won’t clear my Moon until we’re into 2011. I’ll be seriously ragged by then but also somewhere new. I miss myself already and I guess that’s Saturn talking.

I think it is possible to get on a ledge and like the ledge quite a bit but in the end, a goat is pressured to climb.  If not due ambition, then due age or necessity. In my case it’s all three, I don’t mind telling you.

Fact is I am allowed to have ambition, to age and to have necessities even if this forces me to be seen as real however fleeting the vision may be.