I have met or re-met almost everyone who is important in my husband’s life over these last days, people in his family across 4 generations as well as people he has known for 40 years. I have met their child who is approaching 30 who he has known since she was born, and met her child who is going on three.
I have visited the grave of one of his closest friends and stood by as he learned of the deaths of others. I have met people with their lives on track, off track, people facing serious illnesses and the people who love them.
I could go on and on and on but what has been made clear is that it does not turn out the way you expect. I may be better, it may be worse or it may just be different but I can tel you for sure that just because you head in a direction does not mean you get there. Case in point, 30 years ago I headed away from my husband and he from me and look where we wound up.
One more thing. Never, ever let go of your old friends. Almost everyone you meet winds up ultimately meaning very little while the people who stick with you have incalculable value.
14 Responses to “Scope”
Very good advice Elsa!
“One more thing. Never, ever let go of your old friends. Almost everyone you meet winds up ultimately meaning very little while the people who stick with you have incalculable value.”
Perhaps…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lohC420duVk
depends on what is expected to happen next…
The real fact is the only people who matter are those who love you and the rest simply become irrelevant over time. I don’t know that people realize or expect this but it hit me like never before throughout this week. For the rest of my life will pay more attention to people who truly care about me and as little as possible to people who don’t because I see they have no significance at all in the long run.
You look at old pictures of people who mattered at the time and find you can’t remember their names.
the only people who matter are those who love you and the rest simply become irrelevant over time
Indeed.
Are there situations in which a friendship is not worth “working through” or can anything be over-come with sincere regret and cool off time?
Are we talking about serious transgressions, or just spats that all relationships have at one poitn or another?
I’ve done some shitty stuff I regret and had some shitty stuff done to me – just asking to put my own opinion into place. I’m not sure what it is yet.
“The real fact is the only people who matter are those who love you and the rest simply become irrelevant over time.”
hear, hear
luci, personally i could overcome a lot of the shittier things that have been done to me with a genuine apology. and some things create a fork in the road and there’s no way to go back to just that one road.
@Elsa-what a powerful honeymoon. Worth the wait, I bet. Good thing time isn’t linear 
. Gives us all a nudge and a little hope that we can move to heal things up and reconnect with those people we love, and who love us. I feel lucky I’ve had decades and decades to deal with some of these things that are resurfacing just now; figured out that even death can’t stop this process, and it is the most important one.
Mena, it is such a large subject I am afraid anything I could write on the fly would provoke more questions than answers.
@luci, I think good people wind up sticking with good people but you actually not leave good people on the side of the road as if they grow on trees. For example, Ben and I were separated for 3 years or so but never let go again. My husband and I paid a much higher price.
As for the others, it can be boiled down to not concerning yourself with people who don’t like you and never will. You can get stuck on that for years or decades and many do But you can also just shrug because my point here is, eventually (if you have any sense at all) you WILL just shrug at and about the people who don’t like you. They just mean less where love grows so why not facilitate this… work WITH nature, basically.
Thank you. Eloquent and humbling. Life is bigger than our individual intentions, frequently. It often does not turn out the way one expects.
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