Addressed it, yes. Was not successful.

I’m much happier in a relationship with fewer boundaries, period. Monogamy is hard.

I was successful in establishing boundaries within one relationship. Now let’s see what happens with another that sorely needs them…

Awesome post.

In my work life, I learned early on not to shit where you eat. In other words, don’t date coworkers.

Only more recently have I learned not to befriend coworkers. I told my boss, who was supposedly my friend, something personal in confidence. Not 24 hours later was it all over the damned office. She, a well-meaning Cancer, was “nervous and concerned for me.” She did more damage to me professionally by blabbing this than the actual situation did to me personally.

So. I know that I cannot control the actions and brain-dead blabbing tendencies of others, but what I can control is my flow of information from myself to them. I must do this as a self-protective measure. I have a lot of real friends, none of whom work in my department. I have successfully detached to the point that not having a confidante at work doesn’t bother me. I consider this an early lesson of Pluto entering my 11th.

As far as work goes, this is a good thing. Any shred of loyalty I used to have to this department and to my boss has dissolved, allowing me to focus only on delivering a quality product at work and serving my best interests in the future. If that means getting a better job, I’m no longer concerned with leaving my boss to find someone who won’t do the job properly… This is truly a blessing. Fuck ‘em.

I know this post was about romantic relationships, but really, I think it extends to the job, too. It’s one-on-one and we generally spend more time there than with our SOs. The same dynamics can apply.

Whoa. To this Mars in Scorpio in the 8th house, boundaries are best established and maintained giving just a bit at a time until the other person proves themselves worthy of a bigger chunk. Putting it all out there at once is a huge risk in a relationship and at work. Isn’t it better to sit back and let them do all the disclosing? Listening to what they disclose about whom is an excellent indicator as to what they’ll disclose about YOU.

What an interesting 3 days this has been. It started on Monday when my instructor sent me an e-mail. She(Saturn) needed to speak(mercury) to me in her office. OMG I was being called out, see Elsa’s post on transit watch for this. But in sam hill for???????????? I made my appointment for Tuesday as this appeared to be an easier day than Wednesday. So in I went with Elsa’s words ringing in my ears. As I sat down with the desk between us, she handed me the schools official policy on academic dishonesty. saaaaywhaaaaaat.
It turned out that quite a number of students where participating in on-line academic dishonesty. How did this affect me, well my desktop computer has been in the computer shop for 5 weeks, and I have been having to beg borrow and plead computers from anyone who will have me. This is an online course. To make matter worse we had to buy a program as a study aid. The problem was that the program has a licensing agreement. So the only way I could access that portion of the lessons was to use a classmates computer. So when I need the program I used my classmates laptop. For all others, I used who ever would have me. When the schools IT department discovered the group of students who where partnering up, they ran everyones IP address, and low and behold I got flagged. So I too got called in for violating the boundaries. Once I explained my situation and could back it up with documentation I was removed from suspicion. I offered to get a letter from the computer shop, plus all my log-ins from various IP address supported my activity.
To me the most interesting part of all this was when the diaglouge of the conversation went like this:

Why didn’t you tell me you where having computer issues and that you would be logging on from various sites?

I responded with, Well I have taken on-line courses before and when I have had computer classes in the past and approached the instructor in the past, I was met with: “Not my problem, it is up to you to find a computer in which you can complete your work”

My instructor just smiled and said, “I guess you are right.”

I never dreamed or thought it was important to let her know that my computer was down and that I was logging in from different sites. Next time I will notify my instructor and let her deal with the knowledge.

There is only a week left in this class, it is kinda sad that it took a whole semester to define some of the boundaries, and it is sad that an entire group crossed the boundaries that where so clearly defined.

But I was called up and I did have to defend myself, but I was secure. I don’t know how I would have handled the situation had I not been forewarned. I don’t do well when my honest integrity is intact.

So thank you Elsa and Satori for the knowledge and reaffirmation of all that you do! Integrity in relationships with boundaries! How much more classic than this can you get!

the pool metaphore is just perfection!!!! I love it

“If you’re satisfied with your relationship, close the fucking door and protect it.”

Ah, how I would love if another person and I could both get on the same page about this. It seems that often people have different notions about where exactly that boundary should be, or what it should consist of. It’s nice though to hear this approach stated out loud - I’ve found myself in situations before where my partner thinks they should be able to do whatever as an individual, and the onus is on me to just not be jealous or worried.