Some people are not smarter than dogs, unfortunately.

This has happened to us in the past. Twice. Both instances, we had to make ourselves less and less available. The more available you make to someone you’re not interested in, the more mixed-signals you send to them.

To them, you are available. And awesome. Probably can’t help the latter, but you can control the former.

Got to be some kind of projection. Because what they are after doesn’t exist. Also Neptune, because of the self-delusion.

Opal has a good point. If people see something with amazing energy that appeals to them, sometimes it doesn’t matter if it’s a situation or a person. I like the Neptune guess. But I also wonder if there isn’t something magnetic in the chart of the couples that draws weaker personalities in? Like, if your composite chart somehow has features that draw certain people?

On the flip side, I have a married couple who are friends and have “courted” me in the past. I can’t say that I don’t love them both, but I CAN say that it’s maybe not the best thing for me to get involved in…er….yeah.

Some people simply “see” things that are not there. And when the couple (either party) does not make it obvious to the interloper that they (and their advances) are unwelcome, well…you can’t really blame them when they keep trying. They obviously think/feel there is something there, otherwise, why keep trying? Of course, they are completely delusional…but unless they are TOLD they are delusional, they won’t know it…I realize some people don’t want to be “mean”, but sometimes it is the kindest thing you can do. (”You’ve got to be cruel to be kind” anyone?)

As for the astrology, it has to be a Neptune/Venus mash-up of some kind, I would think…perhaps not in the natal, as I think people like this don’t do it habitually…but maybe an aspect with the “object” of their desire.

Definately Neptune aspecting something, probably in the fifth, seventh or eight house. I had this aspect with the Virgo gentleman. Yet he continues to contact me. I have gone into therapy to figure this out and even my therapist is confused by him. We have Uranus conj. moon in the fifth ruled by LEO/Sun) and Neptune conj. in the eight (ruled by LIBRA). I think I read that a lot of secret love affairs have this aspect and I imagine a lot of disappoint, delusion, deceipt etc. is involved. I didn’t assert myself in between his new love (she’s married) but she did with us by texting him the whole time I was with him with “xxoo”’s one afternoon, which led me to believe they were already in an affair, and I was right, as I found out later. And a psychic told me she saw a blond woman swimming around him like a shark (she is a blond!). Now I told him this but he said she is not a threat to him. He also told me I am not a threat to HER. But he never came out and told me the truth until my feelings had been established so I was really hurt.

Yep! with no help from him of course to tell me the truth!

here’s my question: do you ignore (withhold energy) or confront?

Whenever I was in a relationship, suddenly all sorts of women would try to break us up or get me interested. I always took it as sort of a compliment, she’d see me and my GF happy together and wants some of that for herself. But as a Taurus, I am extremely loyal and would never stray, but it drove my gf crazy because she thought she had to compete with those women.

Now in retrospect, most of those interlopers were about 10 times the woman my girlfriend ever was, maybe I should have given them more serious consideration. And for that matter, where are all those women now that I’m unattached?

ignore or confront… a friend of mine just went through this. He first set a clear boundary, then let things cool down with the woman (old friend) who wedged herself in. The minute he allowed any contact (trying to get back to the way it used to be) she tried to insert herself big time, ignoring his wishes and obviously creating potential trouble for both marriages. He’s heartbroken and disgusted and very clear on it. Two strikes, and she’s out. Erased from the smartphone of his life after decades of friendship. I’d like to know what the charts are like.

They feed off the energy. It creates a tug of war. As long as you hold your end even only defensively, they’ll play. Eventually if you close the doors and don’t take the bait they will leave (my experience).

As to astrology, where do you think the inability to pick up emotional or non-verbal cues would appear? Afflicted moon maybe?

Pursuing an uninterested couple sounds like a person looking for parents. And her own were uninterested or rejecting, so she feels right at home, and can’t see why she should leave.

She likes your energy as a couple, wants to be close, and doesn’t worry if you don’t like her. She doesn’t have any demands/wishes that you like her - you guys are parents (and we never get to demand that of our parents anyway, do we?). :/

Sea, I’ve often thought it (triangulation) was an unresolved/badly-resolved oedipal/electra complex at play.

er, i edited that to “female” competition” but mangled it. maybe men compete in the same way… i just think they tend to be more direct?

it’s a lot like someone who never grew out of high school, too. that kind of thing went on a lot there.

@Sea - yeah, that’s what it makes me think of - ignored as a child, many people unconsciously seek the same rejection in their adult relationships. “Kick me! Kick me hard!” is the invisible T-shirt message that they are wearing. I’ve met quite a few people like that, and the sad thing is that after they’ve got their kicking, they bemoan the fact that life is so hard on them. But it’s so difficult to break out of such a behaviour pattern.

“There has to be some shred of interest shown somewhere, surely.”

Utterly disagree. If you have Libra, you tend to be polite, like say to men who sniff a person in the gym. I may be cordial but I can’t stand the son of a bitches. It’s not like they are not given clues, they just don’t care to see them and in fact that discuss this in the locker room - exactly how they intend to “get you”. It is annoying as hell to everyone but they don’t come right out with anything you can confront them with - they just waste the fuck out of your time.

Von, I also disagree. If you have ever been on the receiving end of this kind of “affection”, you would know that it can be entirely 100% unreciprocated. As to the situation you described, it would probably be best for the recipient to just ignore the text messages (if not outright tell the person to get lost). But it’s absolutely possible that responding to the texter only indicates simple kindness or politeness — being “caring” enough not to hurt the other person’s feelings. (I also have a ton of Pluto… but also a Libra Venus.)