Under The Scorpio Moon: My 8th House Broadcast On The Great Irony
Astrology in real life.
I just worked on a chart for the class of a young woman who is infinitely complicated. She’s 19 and I mentioned in the copy that it would be easier when she was older and also pointed out that she used to be a 11 and 5 and a baby and these kids (us… all of us) are born with these charts and some of them are extreme.
In looking for the 10th chart for the class I was staring at the chart of a 4 year old and thinking about this kid carrying this chart up against the wishes, hopes and dreams of his parents. This boggled my mind so I came here to write about something I’ve been incubating for days now.
Some of you know my son is under intense transits, he’s not got the easiest chart to begin with. I see these situations constellate and while they are his circumstances, some of them remind me of my own experience. It’s no surprise, he’s my son and he has inherited from me.
In whatever case my son has a heavy 8th house… not quite as heavy as my own in some respects but in other respects it may well be even heavier. No one really knows what goes on in another person’s 8th house, simply because it none of your business but some things are shared.
I do it on this blog courtesy the Jupiter trines to my 8th and while my son is not a talker as far as his deep emotion goes, I can still relate to his experience via our blood tie, the maternal bond or maybe it’s just my instinct.
In whatever case, there are times when his behavior is difficult for an outsider to comprehend or the word I would really choose is “appreciate” because they just don’t have our experience and therefore they have no idea just how hard it is to go out and be among your peers when you are 10 or 11 or 12 and you have already seen more shit then anyone you are dealing is likely to see in their lifetime.
I mean, you know you’re a kid but you don’t really understand what the kids around you are talking about because you have nothing in common with them and I really mean, nothing.
I can vividly recall going to school and trying to model myself after a popular girl who was quite oddly, a friend of mine. She might have picked me to make herself look good, I don’t really know but she seemed so carefree and light on her feet, I tried to be light on my feet as well. I didn’t fare so well. I always felt large and clunky around her even though I was starving at the time and probably weighed 60 pounds. I just had no way to be, “lite” in spite my mastermind which I most definitely did have.
I am really glad there was no one around to tell me I was failing to blend in. I knew it, and I am sure I would have felt infinitely worse had someone asked me what my problem was.
I’d have not been able to tell them what my problem was. I was way too young to comprehend, never mind articulate my situation but I’d have sure felt like hell if I’d been questioned because the effort I was putting into this endeavor to blend in was epic and it is very hard to try that hard and fail.
I am afraid my son is not so lucky. People want to know why he is failing to connect. They just don’t see the void between him and the others but I do and it is vast.
It would be like asking me, back in the day, why can’t you be light on your feet like, the brown-haired, Sheila?
“Well, right now I am trying to figure out how to get this 40 year old man to not want to marry me AND to not kill me and relatively speaking to what I hear on this playground, I think I am skipping ’round pretty fuckin’ well with my problems here, you dumb ass…”
I’d have never said that because I have Libra and guess what… so does my son.
It’s funny, people who criticize others. Odds are at least half the time the person you are criticize is smarter than you are, working harder than you are, etc. It’s a great irony.
I put a lot into this, I hope your got something out. Like the soldier who put dimes in the pockets of Dora’s coat so she would not be broke, I put dimes all over this so I hope you can find them.
24 Responses to “Under The Scorpio Moon: My 8th House Broadcast On The Great Irony”
Well, I’m back, Elsa. Via @astrologyblog on Twitter. Cut her/him a check for good PR.
Anyway, I completely “feel” you on this subject and empathize with your son going through the heavy transits to his 8th house.
“they have no idea just how hard it is to go out and be among your peers when you are 10 or 11 or 12 and you have already seen more shit then anyone you are dealing is likely to see in their lifetime.”
Yes! I have three planets in my water-ruled 8th house, all of which connect to my water-ruled 12th house. I have definitely “been here before” and I rarely meet those who understand or appreciate the knowledge/wisdom that I brought *here* with me this time.
I have learned to accept that complexity will always be frowned upon by the simple ones. People get frustrated by too many question marks in their world, especially if they don’t like the answers. So I learned to be “light” enough on my feet (thank you air-ruled 7th and 11th houses) to disguise my complexity and get along in a simple world. Similar to how I have learned how to get along in a right-handed world as a lefty – become ambidextrous!
So, I’m sorry that your son has a difficult 8th house but at least he was blessed with a mother who can relate to him – even before he can relate to himself. That’s a gift to both of you.
Jara, you owe me a most profound apology and if you can’t come up with one, I just as soon never see you here again.
I have to deal with a couple of co-workers at my job who do nothing but criticize other people. They really do believe they are just so much more smarter, hip, sophisticated, clever than almost everyone else. Meanwhile, they don’t know dick. When I think of people possibly having multiple lives, I assume people like this are on their first one, because their complete lack of worldly wisdom is just so profound.
I love this, Elsa. I can relate. I had a rough first five years of my life, and I ALWAYS had a tough time relating to my peers. The thing that made the difference for me was that my parents were great examples of the importance of doing service for others. They always volunteered, gave money, gave time. Exemplifying compassion for me kept me out of a LOT of trouble…because I eventually had compassion for the people who were “lighter” than me. I’d be willing to be he’s smart enough to see that example in you.
XXOO
“…they have no idea just how hard it is to go out and be among your peers when you are 10 or 11 or 12 and you have already seen more shit then anyone you are dealing is likely to see in their lifetime.”
I can relate to most of what was written in this blog post, and I think the key point is the quote above. In retrospect, my childhood was lived out like (a male) Persephone. Every other weekend was spent with my Plutonian father and it was quite like a season in hell. I, too, spent time at this precise age as one of the “popular” kids and had a terrible fall from grace. I mean — terrible. I was taken out of the public school system at this time and put into private school (where things only improved temporarily). Later, I almost failed out of high school… How could I relate to other people, how could I give a damn about lectures on biology and trigonometry when I had seen and experienced all the things I had?
Your welcome, but of course I must thank you again for this wonderful place!
I feel so strongly about others not judging unless you have “walked in their shoes”. It is such a simple philosophy, but I simply can’t stand to be around those who don’t get it. People like that are just useless to me. I mean seriously, get your head out of your ass and grow the hell up.
I have vivid, vivid memories of being so tortured as a kid, especially ages 9-13 (12th house Saturn in Scorpio, Scorpio Rising) when I was going through puberty. I felt like everyone around me was either oblivious and therefore happy, or else I could see right through to their suffering and that scared/depressed the hell out of me. This was the most self-conscious time of my life, so while my parents raised me with a kind of ‘benevolent negligence,’ I can see in hindsight how I benefited from them not being there – as in they didn’t harp on me, they didn’t check on how I was doing most of the time, so I interpreted that as a) I’m alone in this so the sooner I fend for myself the better, and b) they must trust me to some extent if they’re not on my back all day.
So fast forward to today with me and my 8 year old son. I don’t look at his chart because I’m afraid that my Virgo/Scorpio will get so obsessed with it that I won’t know how to deal with him otherwise. I already catch myself criticizing small things, so I’m trying to give him lots of room to interpret things himself and trust his own instincts.
Geez… thank you for writing that example about you trying to be like your popular friend, Sheila. From what I read here you seem like someone who knows herself very well and is self assured, and it’s helpful to hear that even you wanted to emulate someone else when you were little.
I spent so much of my life trying to fit in… and it never worked. I should have just realized I’m different. Everyone used to wonder why I didn’t fit in. That is such a heavy burden to bear when you’re growing up… nearly stunted my growth.
I don’t know what I’m really adding here – this post got to me on so many levels. Difficult to express it all. Sounds like Vid has strength of character and people like that are so rare these days…
Sometimes i am scared by how much you connect with your readers, i find so many pieces of you to resemble myself or my state of mind. I really cant describe the sadness i felt when i read the part about not being “lite”. I understand you so so so well. Its so unfair that its a type of peace of mind i feel i can never achieve, like im cursed to feel the worlds burden on my shoulders while others just…..take life with a smile. I wear, i do smile. i smile tons, and i mean them too. I am happy, at times. But since i was 10 years old, ive had that feeling of not being on the same page as everyone else. I wasnt a nerd, nor an outkast, just not on wavelength with their peace of mind.
I admire the lite people. Im glad they balance it out.
I can relate. I had a sibling in and out of pyschiatric hospitals and after spending time visiting her there and then going back to school…where everyone was ‘normal’..(and often quick to judge those who weren’t)…well, it used up a lot of energy. With Libra rising…I’m sure it took most of my energy to keep that smile and try to be polite but I remember going home and crashing in long naps at an age I really shouldn’t have needed them. Seeing more does take kids into a deeper, often more silent and lonely place….but of course, had it been otherwise.. I might still be on a ‘first life’ as Dorothy mentions. Vid will make it through and those people who wonder why he can’t connect aren’t worth trying to explain it to.
My son is coming into his own now at 15/16. He was condemned up until this point, yet it made him strong enough for the moment the other kids were finding it difficult to be in their body/minds. No matter how people treated my son and I, I have never doubted him because I can see his absolute beauty within. So, the individual grows into their light, has their time. My daughter’s chart, is far more social and she has rarely experienced the repulsion that the collective can too unconsciously and easily give out.
One thing I am learning is that for there to be true understanding there has to be true compassion. In a world where people are scared of the shadow and lack awareness for that, it is overwhelming how ‘big’ a person has to be.
Thank you Elsa.
I want to clarify my last sentence. ‘…those people who wonder why he can’t connect aren’t worth trying to explain it to…’ That is…to use Elsa’s words, the distance too vast. The life experiences too far apart. I think half the trouble in my life has come from trying to explain myself to people who just will never know. Better to learn a measure of protective pleasantries..early. & Vid has Elsa’s light to illuminate that path.
Thankyou Elsa for the dimes…. not just this post but the other thousands of posts that are just as beautiful and poignant
My son and 8 yo daughter will be powerfully affected by the coming Saturn/Uranus/Pluto t square. I worry about both of them, but my daughter more so. She’s a Plutonian Sag (exact Sun/Merc/Pluto conjunction) who was born during the Saturn-Pluto opposition. She’s had a rough time of it since she got to school. She’s always being singled out for the way she is (even though it drives me insane at times).
It bothers me because my childhood parallels hers in many ways. And with this rough transit coming up (it’s going to hit her Libra ASC), I’m worried sick. I hope I can guide her through it.
Ka Ching! Thank you Elsa.
I don’t have anything in the 8th, but Pluto is in tight aspect to Sun/Mars/Venus. I had a high school teacher (an adult!) ask me in those words…”What’s your problem anyway”…:snotty tone:. I was missing a lot of school…barely holding it together. I walked out that day for good. (Transiting Pluto square natal Mars)
(((Vid&Elsa)))
thank you Elsa. I was worlds apart from my peers, vast vast unbreachable chasms, and I relate. A beautiful piece and a real service to put it out there for people to read.
xo
Dearest Elsa,
Thank you for sharing;) I can relate SO much to you and your son, I shed a tear for us all. It’s bittersweet.
Elsa said…
I mean, you know you’re a kid but you don’t really understand what the kids around you are talking about because you have nothing in common with them and I really mean, nothing.
Elsa! Like you both, I WAS “different” from the other kids.
My 8th house childhood:
* Born with natal 8th house, Neptune and Mars- child of two active drug addicts
* Neptune 8th Scorp/ Mars 8th Sag (age 1)- Physically neglected then abandoned at 18 months
* Transit: Jupiter 8th house (age 1)- Rescued days later by both my grandfathers, one whom took custody of me gratefully
* Transit: Uranus (Scorp) 8th house (5-12)- cut my head open accidently playing age 6, was kidnapped by my mother and hidden from police and my custodial parents (grandparents), had to live on and off with addicted mom while they all “fought over custody of me”, had to switch schools and made no new friends, molested age 11, winessed mother punch my grandmother and manipulate everyone, mother gets arrested age 12 and family spent time, resources and focus on her during 10 month trial
* Transit: Saturn 8th house (age 13-16)- mother in prison, flailing and failing in high school, our family in crisis
* Transit: Pluto Scorpio (age 15-27)- too much shit happened to even list. Best- transformed me through self destruction and 8th house LIFE- learning curv! Met my soulmate 1991, got clean and sober 1992, new career, new marriage, new baby, new life.
I want to give your son a soul ((hug)). Just imagine the depth and substance of his life;)
Peace, X
Dead dad, mother crazed with grief, terrified, abusive, everybody is an alcoholic; kept getting pulled out of school because my mother couldn’t work at her traveling job and leave both me and my brother behind.
I was in girl scouts on Friday afternoons thinking what *is* this? What am I doing here? If I’m gone from my house for another half hour I might come home to somebody else dead. Sit in a circle and talk about friendship? Are you nuts, I think my mom is going to kill herself and I bet not one of you is going to want to have anything to do with me now OR then.
I tried to fit in too. Most of it I tried to do for my mom; my social problems were more than she could literally stand.
Didn’t fit in, never will, I should have given it up long ago but I always felt so guilty. If I had been cooler somehow it would have pulled our family out of the little nest of pain we lived in.
I’ve got a packed eighth house; venus, mars, uranus, pluto, mostly messing with both my sun and scorpio moon.
She died, my mother, less than a year ago.
Thanks for the dime.
Elsa, thanks for the dimes. You’ve made me rich! This last year has been remarkable. You’ve helped me so much with self understanding and acceptance. You have a keen ability to express your brilliance authentically. Thank you for caring enough to invest in me.
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I took your dime with grace and took myself off the hook.
What you write here seems to touch on so much of my (life) experience.. from birth to now, but especially the past year, and especially now. I just cannot find words, it feels too great a burden most of the time. I guess I’m in deep. Eliminating self-judgement helps.
Anyway, Vid’s a living, breathing blessing.
And, thanks for writing this.