I am sorry for the lack of (consistent) new content around here but I guess you all know I am swamped. I am swamped but happy and keeping my head above water behind the scenes. I am focused on the charts of individuals which does not allow the time and space it takes to be creative or to even assimilate the happenings here over the last 5 days. I do have an anecdote for you though.
When this wave of people showed up – 50,000 of them en masse, I told HQ and the Mechanic that I thought that when this all calmed down, I would be left with double the traffic I had prior. I was cautioned to lower my expectations so I’d not be dissatisfied.
I thought about this and realized I am never dissatisfied.  I know that sounds strange but it is true. I am a satisfied person and I mean I am always satisfied. If I get nothing at all, I am satisfied with it.
I may be disappointed with the result of something but within a day (usually an hour or a minute), the disappointment is gone and I am satisfied with the whatever it is I got or didn’t get even if it is a total void and this is not a joke, it is my nature.
Many would say this is because I grew up in profound deprivation but I’m not sure that is it. People love to come up with theories or explanations for people like me and while it is true that I can thrive on very little (virtually nothing), I wonder if I was not born this way.
What I crave is experience and it makes no difference to me if the experience is good or bad. A great bounty is fantastic but a total void is also rich and can be mined for a great bounty.
I don’t remember learning this. I think this is because I was born with it baked in.
Name a quality inherent to you and the corresponding astrology.
19 Responses to “Apology And The Void…”
Leo rising: I hate to go out with my hair looking bad. perhaps this seems pretty shallow, even I know that it is, but it’s also really, really true.
Virgo Sun square Moon-Neptune. I’m not nearly as organized as the average Virgo.
I really don’t know. I’d like to claim something positive, but the only thing I know I was born with is stubbornness. *lol*
I have planets in all of the fixed signs, though they’re not close enough in aspect to make a Grand Cross. They’re also in the fixed houses. Yeah… pretty sure I was born to be immovable. 
Hey, even a bad experience nets a great story!
Sag moon opposite a Gem sun
I don’t “do” regret. I’m always looking ahead (chart ruler/sun sign ruler in Aquarius), planning (Cap Sun/Venus/Mars/Merc), hoping (Sag Moon/Asc, Jupiter aspect 12th house Neptune), scheming (Cap stellium trine Pluto).
Let’s see, as far as having something baked in… I think it’s my perceptiveness and imagination. I was in my head so much as a kid it’s a wonder that I picked up any social skills (thank God I did, or I would’ve wasted away in my head instead of living life). Also being perceptive can be a gift or a burden…but no detail goes unnoticed by me.
Virgo Sun, Mars/Venus/Moon/MC in Leo, Scorpio Rising.
oh, and mercury in libra
I care too much…I know, sounds cheesy. But I just can’t be mean (not even through the anonymity of the internet), and I want to help others to a fault. I blame it on my Pisces and Cancer stuff.
Your remarks about craving intense experiences reminds me of one of my favorite quotes on this topic from Aleister Crowley:
“Anything, good or bad, but hard.”
Oh, I don’t crave intense experience, i prefer the other kind actually. I like fun experience, it is just not the end of the world if I am dealt something else.
At heart, I am a card player and every card player wants to be dealt a good hand, we just know how to play the others.
Elsa, I love your attitude/nature — wish I had a cup of it.
I’m pretty tired of my own moonpluto-ness but that’s one inherent quality — emotional intensity. I crave peace and relaxation though…
I want to know the “whole story” mine, and everybody elses….how did it all come to be? I want to know the answers to questions nobody wants to ask….without being intrusive. Lots of Mercury, and enough Pluto to make people uneasy.
i think its the capricorn…
it reminds me of the ellis paul song, “the world ain’t slowin’ down” Coincidentally ellis paul is a cap with lyrics strongly infused with cap themes :
“You gotta get gone, you gotta get going
Hey, the world ain’t slowing down for no one
It’s a carnival callin out to you
It sounds like a song,
Hits you like scripture
You paint the picture
With colors squeezed from your hand
Weren’t you the kid
Who just climbed on the merry-go-round
Hey look, the world ain’t slowing down”
I think inherent in capricorn is the ability to stay calm & rational and not get ahead of itself. its the enduring quality, that doesn’t get over its head with expectations but knows that they’ll get to the top of the hill if they pine slowly and any slip ups on the way are just pearls of wisdom and experience
to continue with that theme of plodding up that hill with an enduring as ellis paul sings :
“Bless your sweet mistakes,
That crumble you down to your knees.
That brought you to this place
Changing you by degrees…
When change was just what you needed…
What you needed…”
… So capricorn.
And i hope that didn’t come off as unintelligible gibberish and made sense
Someone recently pointed out to me that i’ve got a strong presence, no matter what i do. Although i’m not completely unaware of this, i’m still intrigued by how others perceive me, especially since i’m almost always self-doubting (Saturn in the 1st). She thought that maybe this was the result of some childhood challenges, like a survival-mode, but i wonder if i haven’t always been like this. By the way she pointed this out to me i could tell that this energy she was talking about bothered her, or at least made her feel uncomfortable.
Yesterday evening i asked someone else about this. This person told me that she also sensed this energy in me, which she called powerful, and said that she could imagine it would make other people a little uncomfortable, but she liked it.
I don’t mind being called powerful. ;o) But it does make me feel slightly uncomfortable that my presence makes others feel uncomfortable…
My guess is that in my chart this “presence” is shown by Pluto in the 4th aspecting Mars, but it could also be my 8th/9th house Sun. I’m not sure.
Elsa, that reminds me of this post (http://www.elsaelsa.com/archives/2009/02/10/demystifying-astrology-every-gift-is-a-curse-in-exact-proportion/). Mars Venus sextile baby, you’re a satisfied customer of life.
Hey There – I have Venus at 24 Cap and share a similar attitude. Life is and you make the most of it. Don’t get me wrong – I a big dreamer (too many planets to count in Pisces) BUT hav always had a sense of place and purpose. Which I love my Sag MC for. K xxx
I love bad experiences because they make me feel more interesting…
I am also satisfied but it is a state that worries me because I am afraid I might get stuck.. and not expiering anything at all.
Capricorn ascendant here.
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Elsa… You are the best astrologer I’ve ever known because you have insights that are right on, and your explanations are so easy to understand. I also have 25 Capricorn as my ascendant. I feel the same about disappointment. It’s such a waste to wallow in it vs. just going onto the next adventure, problem or whatever. Must tell you: you totally cleared up my man problem.. not picking the right ones… with your insight of a man whose sun sign is the same as your Venus sign is the one that will be the most ‘into you.’