Why Does Scorpio Freeze You Out, Or Amputate A Relationship? Remarks On Their Motivation…
Astrology in real life…
Selkie writes on the Triple Pisces blog, regarding the stereotypes of the various signs…
“…lots of Scorpios are harsh people who actually greatly enjoy judging others (even people they’ve never even met or talked to); insist on playing seemingly inexplicable games with people for years on end; take pleasure in seeing “certain” (or “certain sorts of”) people punished, and in freezing out the “unworthy,” and who are stubborn to the point of harming both themselves and others – even the people closest to them.”
The comment is out of context so check the rest if it offends you but I wanted to address the phenomena of Scorpio freezing people out because it definitely happens and it’s never been addressed on this blog.
I have been frozen out by a Scorpio and though I’m not a Scorpio, I have enough in the eighth house I can do a pretty mean impression and I have learned to freeze people out myself. The act is an act but I would argue the motivation.
Though games are played and Scorpio withholds to manipulate and so forth, most times when Scorpio freezes someone out… amputates I would say, it is almost always an act of self-preservation. I learned this the hard way, which is probably the best way and here’s the story:
Some years ago I had a Scorpio pal; we were friends, not lovers. He was super-educated and very generous with me. He shared his knowledge, told me jokes, listened to me, kept me cheered and just in general supported me in many, many ways. He was an outstanding friend and while I always appreciated him, I taxed him greatly. I was far more immature at the time. I was very high maintenance and I just didn’t seem to be able to understand his agony although it was expressed.
He was Jupiter rising like I am and people think we’re buoyant to the core when this is simply not the case.
But anyway, he told me and told me and told me that he was suffering but I just kept coming. I cringe when I write this but whatever. This is what I did and eventually he pulled the plug.
And he didn’t just pull the plug, either. He wrote me a passionate letter to let me know he had thought long and hard about what he was going to do. He said he had been up nights tossing but felt he had no choice but to let me pass… he just could not deal with me.
He apologized though there was not one reason why he should have, other than I’m sure he knew I was going to feel pain due the separation. And he said nothing at all derogatory. He simply stated his truth. He was in a lot of pain and he felt he needed to isolate himself so he could work things through.
That was almost a dozen years ago. It still hurts when I think of him but I have really come to understand his position. You can be a kind, generous person and he was. He was mentor type and I know he liked me and valued the interaction as much as I did at one time but I was killing him. I was pretty much his entire inner circle, and while it was not my intention, I was sucking the life right out of the guy. In hindsight I would say I was freakishly greedy and insensitive and in short, this was a friend I deserved to lose.
I have since learned to consciously amputate myself and when I do I always recall the example this guy set. I make sure there is no other option for one thing because while I know the other person is going to bleed, I think it comes back on you twice as hard. In other words though I don’t know, I am pretty sure his pain was beyond mine.
Speaking for myself, it’s so painful when this happens in my life I don’t ever want to reattach to anyone who has pushed me to this edge. I just don’t trust them which is the same thing that happened with my friend. I know because I rattled his cage now and then for a number of years. He never responded and I know why. But here’s the point I want to make:
I could go on and on and about how cold this guy was shutting down the way he did. Pooooor Elsa. I could put lipstick all over the pig but fact is I did something that provoked his actions. Matter of fact I did 100 things that provoked his actions and I’d just say if you find yourself amputated by Scorpio, you might want to check your own stuff. This is especially true if you know them to be an above board type.
Because Scorpio doesn’t (generally) talk it is very easy to call and consider yourself their victim when you are anything but. People are human and they have their limits and so many people ask to be cut. They beg and beg for it. They won’t stop until they’ve completely done you in and when you finally make a defensive strike this is their cue to cry injury. Whatever. I have little sympathy. I have seen the movie only about a million times.
Have you ever been frozen out by Scorpio? Or if you are Scorpio (or a reasonable facsimile) have you ever felt yourself forced to amputate? How’s this feel on your end?
157 Responses to “Why Does Scorpio Freeze You Out, Or Amputate A Relationship? Remarks On Their Motivation…”
I have Venus in Scorpio and a lot of Virgo, so I like to serve and I have can handle a lot of dark stuff. But, it does get draining and I have had to let a few people go because I would hold all of their crap and they would leave me hanging with it. Most of the time that’s fine, but every once in a while, my life takes a noise dive and you are right, in self-preservation mode, I have to reserve some energy for me and they get cut off.
Another thing I’ve noticed recently, if I can’t make the cut, sometimes the universe will step in and make the cut for me. I have one particularly draining friend that after 30 years of friendship and 10 or so years of talking to her daily, got mad at some advice I gave that she asked me to give and quit talking to me. Cold turkey for 3 months. It was at the exact time that I thought I needed her most, but now I think it was for the best. She’s recently started calling again, but I am reluctant to answer. I feel a lot better about life without her daily dumping on me.
“… if you find yourself amputated by Scorpio, you might want to check your own stuff. This is especially true if you know them to be an above board type.”
I have a friend of years and admire her ethics and ability to just Know people (she’s a scorpio with pisces moon).
She’s amputating me since the last time I was with her. I was being way to friendly with her boyfriend, but not on purpose! (Sag moon – I smiled to much). Her boyfriend completly monopolized the conversation and kept calling my attention when what I really wanted to do was – Just be with her alone and talk to her only. I never liked him but always lied and said yeh, he’s ok. I think my friend ended up with him for fear of ending up alone. I never told her this – maybe she knew and did not like being judged – I don’t know what else could I possible done wrong. She wasn’t treating me with the same respect since, maybe, a year or so.
To tell you the truth I don’t think in this situation I’m the one to blame, the one who did something wrong: I think that what is at stake here are her insecurities, deep ones, a jealous nature – and her venus is at the early degrees of capricorn. I don’t wanna say “it’s her fault!” – I think she’s dealing with, maybe, paranoia, jealousy… and maybe I’m being blamed. I don’t know. Anyway, my friend is really amputating me. Everytime I try to contact her she doesn’t even try to be nice. It’s ok, it hurts, but what can I do? Nothing and just accept 
Maybe this is a sign of Saturn aproaching my venus… I don’t kown.
I have Lots of Scorpio including ASC and finally had to amputate a friend of 20+ yrs for exactly the same type of reasons Heather & Elsie mentioned. It was painful but the friendship had deteriorated to long phone calls where she would go on & on about people and situations I knew nothing about. (I ended the relationship the day Pluto turned Direct . . .)
Another synastry aspect was her South Node is conjunct my Moon/Neptune. I’m very, very cautious when I see South Node aspects with others in synastry. Usually someone ends up getting dumped on unless both parties establish boundary rules right up front.
Thanks for pointing out the synastry aspect, Neith. The people who’ve hurt me most emotionally have their Sun/ASC in aspect with my SN. Interesting.
I amputated a Scorpio in the last year. She greatly enjoyed making fun of me to see me react. Me being the type I am (I grew up the youngest of 4 kids and as a result do not take relentless teasing well), I finally had enough after 4 years. That and the constant betrayal of my secrets, and every detail I told her about my relationship getting ‘leaked by accident.’ (That’s why I always shrug when people talk about Scorpio being the gatekeeper of secrets–maybe some; not this gal).
The last incident came when she was making fun of me in front of someone else, who said “I remember when you guys were friends” and she laughed heartily and said “Me too!”
“Me too,” I responded and walked out the door. I haven’t spoken to her since and don’t think I ever will. Because I work with her and we have many mutual friends, it has been more than awkward.
The friendship will never be repaired, and frankly, I don’t want it to. I learned the hard way to stick up for myself, and the upshot is I don’t think I’ll ever make the error of being friends with someone who is cruel to me for kicks every again.
Wow Kashmiri, that truly sucks. Sounds like you were dealing w/one of the unevolved Scorps.
I am a Scorpio w/Scorpio Rising & Jupiter in Scorpio as well. I have done the amputation thing – it has been with 2 long time friends who began to just take me for granted, it was always about them, and my thoughts and feelings were always either ignored or negated. I got tired of being the third wheel in my own friendships, ya know?
I just walked away with never a word or confrontation. Just DONE.
Horribly difficult to do and not conceived lightly, but the time was right.
There are certain Scorps (just like other signs) who give and give and give and are very generous, and it takes a considerable amount of energy and thought to feel comfortable enough to make friends to begin with (I’m talking a HUGE EFFORT here to open up), so when one of those treasured ones that you’ve poured so much of yourself into begin to go south, it is horrifically painful to detach, but I think most of us Scorps are of the ‘rip the bandage off’ mode of thinking and try to get away in one clean tug. I think Elsa has it right in it being an act of self-preservation.
I recently got rid of a co-worker who I thought was a friend. I have Moon conjunct Pluto with Saturn in Scorpio.
My co-worker thought she could play me and use me.
I gave her a taste of her own medicine and she’s still feeling the burn. I cut people off when they least expect it.
I am a scorp and I amputate all the time. I never do it maliciously nor do I judge. Too many people have judged me and done so so wrongly that I just don’t. But I amputate and if it feels like I am freezing someone else out…why? am I not allowed to keep close to me those that I like and those that I don’t like keep them away?
I find this the only way to deal with very clingy and/or needy types. I do attract them. Often, they will instinctively know when you’re pulling your energy back from the friendship and they’ll push even harder. Earlier this year, I did this with someone I had been good friends with for a few years but I couldn’t take it anymore. I have Jupiter in Scorp/7th but it’s probably part of my moon/uranus either/or mentality.
I’ve frozen out many people in my life. I’ve just got rid of a recent batch of so called friends whose constantly increasing needs for attention and energy from me was literally making me ill. I couldn’t take any more. Scorpio freezing is SELF PRESERVATION folks! We give more than others, that’s why people take more and if the taking becomes excessive and unbalanced, your health and sanity could be on the line.
It never ceases to amaze me how oblivious others are to the mechanism of their relationships with scorpio types. If you always feel like a massive weight has been taken off your shoulders after a heart to heart with a scorp, that’s because you’ve simply downloaded your burdens onto their shoulders and they are now doing the intense and painful job of processing your crap for you.
And you scorps out there, stop the free therapy sessions for all your thankless so called friends. Let people take full responsibility for their problems and learn to work them out on their own or with the help of a fully qualified psychotherapist who is PAID to do that job.
Scorps, you think you’re doing people a favour but you’re sooo not. You’re simply supporting them in their refusal to take their emotional issues seriously enough to seek expert professional help. Why should they when they have you on tap.
And the karmic repercussions on scorpios as they misguidedly take on problems that other people refuse to shoulder themselves are substantial, often leaving them weak, exhausted and depleted, often without a word of thanks or appreciation from their beneficiaries. It’s funny how they all remember how incredibly important you are to them when you’ve finally cut them off for good.
My scorpio rising bowling league friend foze me out of her life last spring. Stopped sending me emails, stopped calling, quit bowling,everything. I still have no idea why and I will probably never try to find out because I hate confrontations (Pisces asc). She was a bossy Leo sun who thought she knew how everyone else should live their life (even though her life was fucked up on the verge of divorce, overwieght and miserable unless high or drunk) I say Who needs that bullshit!! (Capricorn sun)
I have Sun/Venus/Saturn conjunct Pluto, and I definitely pull the amputate/freeze on people who consider me a close friend. This generally happens when I am feeling overwhelmed. Either I am overwhelmed by someone’s neediness and vulnerability, or I am overwhelmed by my own.
Regardless of the rights and wrongs of Scorpio ‘freezing’, I just want to say, it’s still scary as hell!
I’ve been on the end of one and yes, it was partly brought on by my own behaviour, and it may be self-preservation on the Scorpio’s part, but it doesn’t negate the fact that the reluctance to talk things through before freezing gives the other person no option. Self-preservation it may be, but it’s also a power thing, a way of having the last (non-)word, if you like. I’ve loads of Sag and Gemini and Scorpio freezing is scary, frustrating and debilitating sometimes.
I’ve since re-established contact with the Scorp (partly cos he has has Libra rising and is a bit more conciliatory), but the old issues are never raised, and consequently never resolved. I’ve learnt to accept it and to accept my own need for resolution without projecting it on the other person.
This is a dilemma I’ve never been able to resolve – when is talking too much, and when is not-talking too little? Ah well, we fumble through the best we can.
I’m not a Sun Scorpio, but I have Venus/Pluto conjunct (in Virgo). I’m the same way with overly needy people. I amputated one a few years ago. Frightening because the woman was, unfortunately for me, dense, and I had to plunge the knife in without any painkiller to finally get rid of her.
She craves drama and having people around her, and, well, I don’t. I’ve also amputated a lot of strongly Cancerian types right out of my life for the same reason. All that ickiness makes my skin crawl. I’d rather not deal with it, so I freeze those kinds of people out.
jj — you are so right about scorpios stepping back and suggesting to people that they seek professional help. i’ve mentioned it to my friend, time and again and she has a gazillion excuses from ‘not wanting to do the work’ (YOU don’t want to do the work, you just want ME to do it for you…) to ‘i can’t afford it’ (this from someone who is set for life *sigh*), it’s too bad, we’ve been very close over the years, and of course, there’s that scorpio loyalty, but i just can’t take it any more (and ironically, one of her biggest issues is that she’s alienating family and friends and can’t/won’t understand why)
I’ve been frozen by a scorpio friend – she was an internet friend and I also had visited her once for a weekend. Online I cut her bad, inadvertantly hitting her most sensitive spot. So she wrote to me about how it hurt her and never talked to me again.
I have a really good scorpio friend now. And she had to cut out all of her friends at one point. Then years later she met me. And the things she worried about bothering me due to her past, didn’t bother me a bit. Apparently her old friends would put her down and drain her energy.
My husband has a stellium in Scorpio including the sun. What I have noticed is that he doesn’t suffer fools easily, unless they’re his friends! Then he suffers them for way too long! (some of the stellium is opposite Saturn in Taurus, maybe that’s why)
I’m thinking of one guy in particular who was a total loser. Treated his wife like crap. Treated my hubby like crap too. He stuck with him until one night it got so bad he just said “you are RUDE!” and dropped him off at his house and never ever spoke to him again. That guy deserved it.
Well, gee. I cut out my ex- after many years. I pushed and worked and took care of her and listened to her and blah blah blah. She decided at some point that she didn’t like me anymore, and stopped having sex with me (she had an excuse) and the relationship continued until finally it was so ridiculously obvious that she wanted to be rid of me that I split up with her; I could at that point, since I had given her my word I wouldn’t leave, but if she wanted me to go that was ok. She was fine with that, but she wanted me not to abandon her, and I didn’t. I waited until I finally found out how much she had been lying to me, and she was off to hook up with this other guy.
Then I stopped talking to her. Returned her stuff, haven’t spoken to her since. In the interval I’ve steadily cut off the friends that were actually her friends, like the guy I moved nine times (who never helped me move), and so on.
I can be neglectful, but I never cut anybody off unless they fuck me over. If they do, well to hell with them, why should I stay?
max
['I invariably never hear from them again, since I'm once I'm not useful, I'm not wanted by that type.']
I’m trying to remember the last time I spoke to any of my friends. I have gotten far apart- but it’s not on purpose! damn saturn.
oh well, the family is calling me tonight. 
back to essay writing for now.
i don’t know if it’s my 8th house (i don’t have personal scorpio planets… just uranus.)
but if someone is wounding me and i don’t have any expectation of them stopping, i will cut them out.
sometimes only until i can feel i can bear it again. depending on whether it’s something malicious or just crosswired needs (i can’t always hold those sorts of pain against someone.)
i usually don’t say why. unless i actually see a hope that they’d actually want to resolve the situation. or if it’s a final close and i want to make it extremely clear that they’re unwelcome in my life (which i try to be nice about but there’s not many gentle ways of saying that.)
my scorpio stellium friend likes to understand people. it’s an obsession, i guess, to dissect how people tick. she’ll focus on someone for awhile, and then, when she’s reached a certain point she might realize that they’re… toxic, or dangerous, or projecting all over her, or whatever, and tries to pull back, and people get upset, feel they’re getting cut off (since they’re used to that scorpio focus and can feel the bounceback when it lifts) overreact, and make her feel like she has no other choice but to cut them off completely. (and she can get harsh. likely too harsh.)
anyway, that’s how she describes it.
Lis- I just laughed my ass off at your comment-does that make me a jerk?!?!
DreamsAReality: thanks for saying that, because I think you’re right. I’ve met a lot of beautiful Scorpios, and my SO is Scorpio Moon/Venus/Neptune and a very lovely guy.
Scorpio ASC….I’ve done this to a handful of friends. I’ve said in another post I get these friends who end up being clingy/needy/jealous, it just drives me nuts. I try to stick it out with them, and I’m even honest about how they make me feel (like I have a super-jealous boyfriend on my hands), but if they don’t get the point then I have to let it go. I never related it to my Scorpio ASC but wow, it’s true, each one drained the hell out of me. When I reached a point of maturity, I realized that as much as I hate to hurt anybody, these relationships were very toxic and flat out unecessary. I never have intended to freeze people off completely, but instead wait until they mature themselves. Oh yeah, and my Saturn is in the 11th.
Kashmiri–No, it makes me look like an insensitive clod. 
Now I know why I never attracted Cancer or Pisces men. (Scorpios, that’s another story. Hubby is Scorp rising.) Not only am I blunt, I’m not a cling-on.
I honestly don’t think male Cancer or Pisces types would go for a Leo Sun, Sun conjunct Mars, and Aries rising. Just generalizing, of course, but it’s telling that I never dated any.
I couldn’t have put this anymore eloquently than you have, Elsa. Thanks for the post.
Xin
(Scorpio/Scorpio)
“…most times when Scorpio freezes someone out… amputates I would say, it is almost always an act of self-preservation.”
Maybe so, but I have to question the validity of Scorpios’ every perception that they NEED to preserve themselves. Sometimes they’re just afraid – yes, even a Scorpio!(I mean, I know one who, after hearing about the film, “I Am Curious [Yellow]” way back in 1967 has flatly shunned all things, ideas and people Swedish – because they’re “sexually immoral”! And I’m NOT exaggerating.) Sometimes it’s flat-out selfish – an attempt to control someone else. I have a choice example; I apologize for its length, but I’m hoping that Elsa and/or any of you out there can tell me if, or where, I’m wrong!
If you’ve ever seen or read Edith Wharton’s “The Age of Innocence,” my mother-in-law is the same type of person as the character of “May,” who was surely modeled on a Scorpio woman. (In fact, if you want an example of what the Scorpionic freeze-out can do to the lives of everyone around them, without the Scorpio ever once being anything short of gracious and polite, read “The Age of Innocence.”)
When I was first introduced to my boyfriend’s mother (now my husband since 1992) she came into the room, barely shook my hand, was very polite – then disappeared into the back of the house for the rest of the evening. My husband mentioned (-only then! He hadn’t thought it important..)that she didn’t approve of people who were overweight, which I was. OK; everybody’s entitled to their own opinion. Between that and the fact that she clearly sensed that her son was serious about me (first woman he’d brought home who fit that description), from that night on, I DID… NOT… EXIST. No, seriously – even when we went on to live together, my existence was never even referred to, period. For more than a decade! (BTW, I got along great with his father, who was as nice as could be.)
I knew I certainly hadn’t done anything wrong – in fact, this lady had never even talked to me beyond polite intros, so I went along with it. Whenever she asked my husband to come for holidays & birthdays (always with no mention of me, & very pointedly, so both he & I would “get it”) I encouraged him to go; I think family’s important.
Eventually, we moved about 120 miles away; in the first couple of years, it was still the same deal with her. Just before one Thanksgiving, out of the blue, my husband’s FATHER called up to apologize for “their” awful behavior toward me and to invite me for Thanksgiving dinner that year.
I went; my “acknowlegement” by my husband’s mom consisted of her acting as if nothing had ever happened,as though I’d always been warmly welcomed by her, and certainly with no hint that her husband had called and actually apologized. And so it’s been ever since! My husband and I never acknowleged to her that she had frozen me out from first meeting through the ensuing twelve years, and neither did she. I wish I could say I was always perfectly gracious, but I did have a bit of a reservoir of anger built up about being judged & frozen out like that for so long, and in the first couple of years it came out every so often in stupid little indirect ways I now regret. But I’m long over it. My in-laws have been wonderful to me in so many ways for years now. Everything’s been fine for a long time… well, as far I my husband and I can really tell with a Scorpio. (Just a JOKE.)
My mother-in-law lost years of what could have been a close relationship with her son and his wife – for what? Unlike some Scorpios, I don’t think you can or should try & control who your kids decide to love, what they decide to work at, etc. (and that’s a whole ‘nother story about this lady and her family). I mean, offer parental opinions, talk with them, etc, but when you have to let go of it, let go – right? (Wrong?)
But she still runs constant Scorpionic “scams” on her own family, though apparently I’m now exempt. Example: She’s extremely afraid of anything new but won’t admit that, even to herself, so when her husband got a cell phone & wanted to get one for her (for safety’s sake), she sweetly pronounced that NO ONE needed a cell phone – and just as sweetly refused to take the phone # of her own husband’s cell! She still refuses – on some “priciple” is all my husband & I can figure -and recently had a plan to force a family member into a completely arbitrary event of her creation, that he’d SAID he did not want to (and what’s more, couldn’t) attend – and ended up screwing it up HERSELF all because she couldn’t call her husband on the road when she needed to!
Scorpios (& those who are heavily influenced by the 8th house and/or Pluto) are often incredibly wise, loyal people, and have traits that I admire greatly (and wish I had!). But, like May Welland Archer, they often have a self-induced, hard blindness and resistence to admitting the very existence of anything – or anyone – not to their liking! Other signs all have their failings, too. But Scorpio can really make sure it HURTS, if so inclined, though when done out of selfishness, it often ends up hurting them just as badly. I just wished it could be mentioned among all the praise, that’s all.
Am I wrong?
Ah now I feel like a bastard.
I do think Scorpio’s are, when above board and solid, generally right when they cut. But I also want to stick by my projection thing, because I’ve seen scorpio’s even above board do that too.
I mentioned being cut twice by the one scorpio in the other post and its true, the first time I was told (years later) it hadn’t actually happened (although that leaves me rather confused about the unanswered calls and emails), and the second time I was told I was right about what I’d thought/felt/the situation and it was the closest to an apology I got.
In the end in that particular case I still get so much richness out of the relationship that I opt to continue even at risk of being taken down again, in fairness I don’t think going down either time did me long term harm because I was right (whereas if I had been wrong I think it might have done me good) but its definitely made me super cautious about how I communicate with this person. I have an even higher degree of paranoia and fear of judgement and unless I can communicate face to face and see and feel her reaction I pretty much toe my way like its eggshells.
Selkie – it sounds to me like your MIL may be a little crazy. People with all kinds of defenses like this are usually driven by a voice in their head. I don’t mean that literally, you know what I mean. She just sounds disturbed and probably tries to cope with all these hijinks.
One she froze you out for no reason, how to un-freeze? Oh, I know. Just lift the restrictions as arbitrarily as you created them. People who are crazy can do this no problem.
She may be malicious… what she does is definitely going to hurt people but from the way you describe her she sounds pretty well insane to me. 
An insane Scorpio acting insanely.
Next time you deal with her just ask yourself, is this a bitch? Or is this a crazy bitch/
My Scorpio freeze-out story goes like this….I am having breakfast at the company cafeteria with a table of women,one is a stunning Swedish Scorpio,just having given birth to her first child several months before.She is tall,dark,looks VERY much like Ingred Bergman.She is nursing so her curves are extra curvy,she is at the height of her feminine powers.The guy who trains the bomb sniffing dogs walks in and says a happy hello to her-now comes the freeze-she straightens up in her cafeteria chair,shoots a look at him out of the corner of her eye,kinda sideways,with this kind of seething vibe and turns her back to him,without a word being spoken.Full-on,turning away,freezing out,and as she repositions herself,she kind of sways hers hips in this kinda seductive exclamation point at the end of the sentence.No one else at the table is noticing this little beheading going on except me and the dog trainer.She has the tiniest little smile on one side of her lips.I look back at the dog trainer and he is devastated.I know this guy and he is a pushy Leo type,now completely wilted.If I had a Geiger counter it would be going off.She has just fried him.He is speechless.No one else is seeing this but me.I know her husband was friends with the trainer,but I never did ask what it was all about.I was in awe of the whole energy of the exchange.It stays in my memory as an example of the Scorpio freeze out.This happened 15 years ago and I still remember this vividly.One other thing,so many Scorpios out there!Who knew you were all watching so quietly until your question was asked.
Thank you, Elsa! I wasn’t tryin to villify Scorpios, just balance out what I’d been reading for several months! My MIL really isn’t crazy; she’s just a very extreme version of the negative Scorpio’s tendency to judge too quickly then stubbornly stick to it because, well, she sees it as a sign of weakness to back down & admit she was wrong (or even that she MIGHT have been wrong)! She’s actually turned out to be a very good-hearted person who just has a rather extreme & overly fearful reaction to anything (or anyone) she considers a threat, for whatever reason.
Having had a negative Scorpio mom who ended up cutting herself off from everyone in her life (except me) via that same stubbornness, I’ll admit I’m a bit oversensitized to the overly quick judgement and almost gleeful freezing out that can be found in a negative Scorpio/8th house/Pluto-influenced person.
BTW, just for the heck of it, yesterday I asked one of the other Scorpios I mentioned in my post (… who’s been despising/rejecting all things & persons Swedish for decades now due to what she HEARD about the film “I Am Curious[Yellow]“) whether she’d consider ever buying anything from IKEA – she said she absolutely wouldn’t; it’s a SWEDISH company!
Selkie – She’s a freak! Wonder what she thinks of fat Swedes, LOL. I am telling you, she’s a nutcase! She would be just fine in an Italian family. Fit right in.
Umm – this may be surprising – both my Scorpio mother and step-mother have done the same, shunning / making a scene over houseguests. It’s kind of funny from my perspective because I could see how they acted (including those times they were civil to houseguests) and what they said / really felt after they left. Reality: they don’t want dreaded outsiders who haven’t passed a security check in their homes. It added a special spice (read: distrust) knowing my step-mother was doing the same thing (racking me and my sister over the coals) when we weren’t in front of her.
Well, come to think of it, she did it when we *were* there too, when she couldn’t contain her venom…
Venus, Moon, Neptune conjunct in Scorpio for me. I think that most (not all) Scorpio’s have this ability to see straight through a person’s facade thereby eliminating the need to build relationships based on superficial needs. They just don’t have the ability to live on the surface so when it comes time to end a relationship there is no other recourse but amputation. I mean, really, what is the purpose of hanging on to an arm that has gangrene? I can see that is is rotten beyond reform. The person next to me can smell it and the next door neighbor has already alerted the neighborhood to my condition. What’s left to do?
Ahhh, Scorpio’s are realistic and not afraid of the truth I’d dare to say. I don’t see it as “freezing” one out or even being mean. It is just not a healthy habit to hang on to parts that are causing the rest of the body harm….and a Scorpio understands the effects of festering decay like no one else.
I like amputation. It is clean, quick and healthy for all involved…whether they know it or not at the time.
While I feel for those on the receiving end of the scalpel I can only wonder what compels them to put themselves “under the knife”?
What do you think, Elsa?
Nobody asked me but I decided this topic isn’t dead.
Part of the issue with this amputating phenomenon is there’s other people involved besides the two in a relationship .. like, children. I remember the quiet tow-headed boy of one of my friend’s married to a Scorpio looking out the window waiting for his dad to come home .. and his dad wasn’t going to come home, he had wandered off and impregnated another woman. (Or was it two? I don’t remember all the florid details of the relationship unraveling – but eventually it dispersed with a bang.) First he put them into debt via his purchasing ‘services’ at s&m sex parlors.
Still .. that friend wanted to keep the Scorpio. I don’t understand it either. They leave a void and I think it’s natural, human, to take the step into it and towards them.
Who has tips / techniques for not stepping into the void (I suspect they’re getting energy when you do that you know)? Think I’ll need them for Pluto transiting the 7th.
i have a scorpio ascendant, sun in scorpio conjunct pluto in the 12th house. i had to cut off people from my life from time to time, most of them i was able to heal, although things were never the same as they started.
jesus helped me to open my heart to possibility of almost complete forgiveness. when i found my life was lacking direction, it was by calling jesus into my heart that things started to lighten up. i bagan to think and pray for those who dont eat, those who are ill, etc. yes, i do find this corny when i’m back to my normal state. but in these brief moments, i seem to no longer think about those who have done me wrong or i dont like, etc. it is like i’m temporarily released from all my hatred and all i want is peace.
Just curious: Why does scorpio tolerate so much crap that they eventually need to amputate in such a dramatic way? Why not just ask for the offensive behavior to stop when it occurs, and save themselves a lot of abuse (and the other person the pain of amputation)? It seems that scorpio tends to create the ideal conditions for amputation to be an appropriate response. Cause and effect?
Goodness this is so true, your statements and how Scorpio will eventually cut off the ties to those who have caused them enough grief. And in answer to the last comment from Ana, as to why we tolerate so much that we eventually need to amputate in such a dramatic and final way?
Because we must. Sensitive water signs can absorb so much shock, so much upheaval, so many intrusions and acquiesce seemingly forever without end, like the rivers which unceasingly flow into the ocean, or the lake where you can throw rocks and more rocks and still the lake stands unhindered after the ripples subside.
Yet there is a limit to everything. At times it is necessary to dam the river to keep from drying up. And the dam once erected will not give way so easily as much thought was given to putting it in place.
It is wise to not push your luck with a Scorpion since they keep tabs on the factors weighing against your favour and once a bridge is burned, there is no turning back.
I am in the process of freezing someone out at this time, and yes, it is difficult on my part.
A new-found cousin, about four years ago,from Sweden who has visited already twice, announced a few days ago, via internet, that she was planning a “one week or so” trip to us in May. We didn’t mind meeting the first or second time, but it is really an inconvenience on our family. She didn’t even consider that we didn’t want her to visit and put us out again, and now for a whole week.
Besides the inconvenience, she (She’s a November Sagittarius) is totally obnoxious. She brags, isn’t interested in a two-way conversation, and is quite insulting to me.
I think part of her problem is that “European Snobbery” so prevalent over there. While here, she made a plain ordinary chicken dinner, held it up on a platter, and acted as though we had never seen real food. When she stopped at my house, she asked me to turn my computer on, then proceeded to teach me how to use it; I had had a computer for over 12 years at that time. I politely let her teach me. In fact, I have been politely letting her be who she is. She emailed me to have me clean up an English version of her bio. It took me 12 hours. Then she informs me that she writes English very good. Grrrr! Could have fooled me. She bakes bread, sends a pic, and the recipe–of course assuming I had never baked bread, which having been a house wife for 30 years, I have and do bake quite well thank you.
Anyway, my father was really upset at the thought of her visiting again. He would have felt obligated to pick up her hotel costs and commented, “I feel like this just fell out of the blue and the worse part, I’m the one who will have to entertain her for a week.”
What did I do? After a day or so of fretting about this, I just decided to be honest (well not entirely honest–that would have been really cruel). I e-mailed her and told her that this trip to the US is not possible at this time and gave her a variety of honest reasons. Told her that if our situation here changes at some point in the future, we could maybe plan a trip for her.
Afterwards I deleted her from my e-addresses. I will no longer answer her e-mails. She cut off!
I forgot to say that I am a little bit Scorpio, just my Sun and Mercury. I have an Aries Moon and Mars and Jupiter in Sagittarius with Jupiter sitting on top of my Ascendant in the 12th house opposed by Uranus.
Also the difficulty of freezing someone out is I still feel guilty, even though it had to be done. I would have liked to have told her exactly what I thought, but why? I also will not let it go for quite a while or at least until I talk or write it out and everyone I know hears about it.
Just found this topic (I need to spend more time exploring this site)….
I have the ability (as I think most Scorpios do) to compartmentalize aspects of my life: things get stuffed into a compartment and left there until I have the time (or desire) to open it back up and deal with it. Some compartments stay sealed up for a very long time. It is a coping mechanism I learned (discovered?) while very young.
I have placed several people/relationships, including family members, into sealed compartments. It was never something done impulsively. As Victoria stated, there was no other alternative: I felt my survival — emotional and mental — was at stake.
As far as it being done abruptly… well it may appear so to the other people involved but there’s always significant history behind the decisions. And yeah, we’d drag all the crap out and re-hash it over and over and never get anywhere. When people are irrational and can’t hear what you’re saying, what’s the point in continuing?
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity. –Albert Einstein
Wow!! I had no idea Freezing was such a universal Scorpio technique. I guess I have seen my mother(scorp sun, pluto in the 8th) freeze people out of her life for years, but I never connected it with what I do. I have Sun, moon, mercury, venus, and mars in Scorpio, so it’s hard for me to define were the Scorpio energy is coming from sometimes.
Freezing is most defiantly a tool of survival and self preservation. I use to feel guilty about doing it, but I have grown to realize it’s best for everyone involved if I do what I need to do.
For me, Freezing gives me the time and space I need to cool down, and sort out the feelings that lead to the freeze.. The time and space help me to refrain from descending into petty power trips, or doing something I might regret, etc… when the wounds are still raw. It also allows the Scorpio time to re-define themselves…..
I like to think of it as putting myself in cold storage. Most people I have frozen over the years were only blocked out of my life wile I healed and came to terms with my feelings. In recent years I have warned romantic partners and very close business associates at the beginning of the relationship that complete isolation and cutting off all communication is how I operate when I am extremely wounded…. But I also add that I am usually open to re-defining the relationship down the road, when I am ready…… I am close friends or on speaking terms with most of my ex-lovers. Good friends are hard to find and life is too short to hold a grudge forever(is that Jupiter in the 1st speaking??)…..
So I read many of the comments here and although there certainly are some valid points being made, I really don’t think this general “rule of thumb” applies to all Scorpions. As they say, it all depends on the specific chart and personal transits.
“Freezing out” is a final tactic reserved for when totally finished with someone because you consider them a wasted investment of your precious time and energy as in a total write-off. So you cut your losses, and carry on with your life as if they never existed in the first place.
I don’t think that “freezing out” is a temporary measure at all. Leave this feeble cop-out manoeuver to the unevolved Scorpion who is not yet aware of how to deal with a hurtful situation in true Scorpionic fashion.
As a triple Scorp with Moon, Pluto and Scorpio rising I haven’t too much experience with people wasting my time but admittedly have been hurt a couple times very badly.
I didn’t “freeze” those ladies out. That would have been too easy. Plus it would have been the easy way out for them. Do you really think a Scorpion would let someone who has hurt them badly off so easily? Hardly.
When people hurt you, betray your sacred trust or abuse your love and friendship, the thing to do is hang around the sidelines in the shadows for awhile. Let them think that you froze them out by making yourself somewhat scarce, yes, but remain everpresent and in control behind the scenes. Your spirit lingers. Your invisible presence and ominous energy remains unscathed. Your ghost succumbs to wreaking continual havoc veiled in at times subtle, at times outrageous, activity executed at inopportune occasions.
For it follows that when these offending parties expect you to freeze them out, you are doing them a favor by doing so. This is not revenge, this is foolishly fulfilling their expectation!
The evolved Scorpion never plays to another trumpeter’s tune. A true lone wolf, the Scorpion marches to the beast (beat) of his own drummer. They devise their own strategy and avoid the obvious. They lurk in the shadows of subtility and seductive selective madness.
The whole idea is that your traitors and abusers feel false security in thinking you will not bother with revenge and that you will forget the matter by simply “freezing them out.”
No, as a bonafide certified triple Scorpion (quadruple if you include my ascendant) I believe the best way to deal with such horrible people is to torment them. Aim below the belt. Knife behind the back. Get them where they deserve it, when they least expect it.
Get these mortal offenders so paranoid, they are constantly expecting you to pop out of the shadows and out of the murky water like a gator lurking in the slime of their subconscious ready to devour.
This is the time to disappear and do more important things and carry on with your life with more worthy individuals. You can always return to check up on the abhorrent offenders at a later date and more convenient time. At which point you can monitor their stress and anxiety-o-meter and devise an even more poisonous and deadly arrow to hit the mark, again, waiting for the moment they least expect it.
This cycle can continue for however long you wish. Remember, the true Scorpio is a master of manipulation and control. I will never date or ask a Scorpio woman out for this reason. No matter how attractive or sensual or sexual she may be it is simply not worth the headache.
And because she is a woman, she will beat the Scorpio man at his own game as she is master of it. Women do not play fair. To the male mind, the female response is entirely emotional and frequently irrational. Simply put, she will catch you off guard and manipulate you to fulfill her own pleasure in beating you at your own game.
(Re: Jupiter in the 1st house, well that just means you are big on yourself or have an exaggerated overinflated self-image)
“Remember, the true Scorpio is a master of manipulation and control.”
First Degree Burn,
I don’t disagree with your statement I quoted above, but I think the expression of manipulation and control can take many forms in expressing Scorpio energy.
I love to manipulate material objects and transform them into art or functional objects. I prefer to bend people to my will using genuine kindness and honesty.
As for control, I prefer to exert control over my self, and my reactions to hurtful situations.
I have preformed a few perminant amputations over the years. I have no regrets because the people I froze out of my life were holding me back or damaging to me.
When I freeze someone at the end of a relationship it’s for the purpose of coming back to myself and giving me space so I don’t act out in a way I might regret. I have great respect and love for most of the women I have had romantic relationships with. In most cases my love for my ex’s has never gone away. It just transformed from romantic intimate love, to universal/friend love. For me, holding a grudge, and seeking retribution or revenge is a waste of my energy. It does not feed my soul to punish people for hurting me. The way I see it, it takes two to tango and when two people choose to be in a relationship they are choosing to open themselves up to each other. If you end up getting hurt, or betrayed, those are consequences of choosing to open up to that person. Betrayal sucks, but we have a choice in how we react to it. I do have instincts to punish/sting people when they hurt me, but my experience has taught me it’s an inefficient use of my energy, and does more damage than good…
I also believe “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” -Mahatma Gandhi
“(Re: Jupiter in the 1st house, well that just means you are big on yourself or have an exaggerated overinflated self-image)” quoting First Degree Burn
No doubt! I do think highly of myself!!
“complete isolation and cutting off all communication is how I operate when I am extremely wounded…. But I also add that I am usually open to re-defining the relationship down the road, when I am ready……”
Does this occur when someone intentionally hurts you or when their presence triggers pain in you for some unrelated reason, past issues, etc.? Just curious, as this happened to me twice last year. As much as I have thought it over I cannot find anything I could have done to either of them. Both wanted to be close to me for a long time and I was slow/cautious to let them in and once I did things were great…then they both got scared or something, shut down and left with no explanation. Perplexed me (and hurt me) to no end. But I guess it is to be expected as I currently have Pluto transiting my moon in the 7th.
Re: Jupiter in the 1st – it’s good to think highly of oneself
Ana,
I have amputated people out of my life without communicating anything, but when I do this it is someone who seriously wronged me.
When I freeze someone out at the end of a romantic relationship I communicate my intentions and reasoning behind them.
When it comes down to it, we all handle things in different ways. I was raised by pacifists, and my dad encouraged me to study Buddhist and Sufi philosophy starting at age 12, so a lot of my coping mechanisms are rooted in a philosophy of non-violence and not harming others……
I really think this is a more complex issue than simply freezing someone out. Eventually that ice will melt(metaphorically), don’t forget Scorpio is a water sign. I think the hard task is figuring out when people should be forgiven. I have experienced having people really hurt me, unintentionally or no, and then try to come back in my life, no communication whatsoever for many years, once I was doing really really well, and I assume they wanted somthing from me… What more could I possibley have that you haven’t already taken?!! The funny thing is I usually let them back in, as long as there is no foul play… that is I errect firm boundaries and then don’t allow them any closer. I can admire your seek for answers on a spiritual level, as somtimes i feel that this is the only place answers will be found.
I guess i’ve made alot of enemies by association. I like the part elsa said about people making the wrong call about the scorpio, cutting you out because they “don’t talk”.. when this is a far cry from the truth… then it goes they “beg and beg”, “they wont stop untill they’ve completely done you in, and when you finally make a defensive strike, this is their cue to cry injury…” I couldn’t have said it better myself.
Des,
I learned how to forgive and let go and process my anger over a 15+ year period. I know what it’s like to sting people and take revenge when someone betrays me, but I never found these effective tools in getting my needs met. Hurting people that hurt me just made me hurt more… I have a lot of empathy, it’s a blessing and a curse… I feel pain I inflict on others, and it sucks… The empathy also facilitates forgiveness, because I can understand were the other person is coming from, or at least I try to. I also strongly believe in the golden rule, “treat others as you would like to be treated.”…..
I don’t allow every person I forgive back into my life. I won’t forget what the person did, But I won’t hold on to the anger associated with the incident…. we are all human and we all fuck up, so it goes….. unprocessed/repressed emotions are like thrones in my being, I will feel it until I deal with it…
No doubt! I do think highly of myself!!
It is clear that you do
Pride goeth before a fall . . .
I have nothing scorpio, and nothing eighth house for that matter, but I when I come to the end of my rope I let people go, including my own mother. They will be warned, but I let them fall, and that is that. My life is hard enough. I dunno where this shows up in my chart.. as a capricorn pragmatic type deal, or a urainian just cut you loose, you are too heavy/draining for me to stand any longer probably.
Wow true…
Scorpio rising. I don’t freeze people out much, but once we’re done, we’re done. I think the only person I’ve consciously tried to freeze in the last five years is my last ex, because despite him being a Scorpio, he e-mails me yearly. And I just don’t want to know how badly he is doing any more. I e-mailed him back once when I was in a good mood and have regretted doing it ever since. I should have stonewalled better.
My most painful freeze out was by an Aquarian, but it was pretty similar to Elsa’s in that I was clearly smothering and clingy and crazy and well, deserved to get the freezeout. I can’t blame him, really, though I certainly hated him for years on end.
jj you say it:
“Scorpio freezing is SELF PRESERVATION folks! We give more than others, that’s why people take more and if the taking becomes excessive and unbalanced, your health and sanity could be on the line.”
That’s exacly the scorpio point.
I’m a scorpio mars and I did amputate.
I amputated my own father because his issues were mirroring mine. I’ts terrible.
When the energy between me and the other goes downward, I see the end is coming, and I do it myself.
I was amputated as well, and even tough I can assume there was a reason, I do wish it didn’t happen.
truth is : being amputated by a scorpio hurts ( more than getting the same treatment from other) because it always means something.
other sign might just lose theyr interest on you or they might be too much in to themself.
The scorpio stays with you because and as long as he understands YOU.
And it hurts to be taken away such a gift.
I have Scorpio rising conjunct Neptune and will amputate if I feel it is my only possible escape route, but I don’t generally let things devolve to that point if I can help it. Funny, right now I am going thru a forced amputation from my mother-in-law who’s got Scorpio moon as part of a grand cross in her chart. But amputating people from her life seems to be a recurrent theme for her.
I’m a Sagittarius who actually was the one who amputated a Scorpio.
You thought us benevolent Centaurs couldn’t be mean, didn’t you?
I have been frozen out several times by both the scorpios I have been involved with for the last almost-4 years… but they keep coming back. I know it is self preservation on both their parts and I take it as a huge compliment that they both return when they’re ready.
I am a scorpio rising. Question: Why do you stop eating at a meal at a certain point? Because you’re done. You usually have no feelings about being done, you just know you don’t want anymore. Thus, how it is with me. It’s usually a pretty emotionless process, though I feel bad that I don’t feel worse. I’ve hurt people this way, and they’ve done the whole victim thing. Maybe justifiably. But if I’m done, I’m done and I really don’t feel like trying to care anymore.
How’s that for cold?
read the blog post and when i clicked thru to the comments was surprised to see my comment leading the pack. since this thread originally ran i did amputate the friendship i mentioned– and haven’t had one second thought. scorpio in action.
I just amputated someone I loved SO MUCH. I tried everything I could to make the situation work and there was no other way. and I feel SO MUCH RELIEF. it was the right choice, no question whatsoever. scorpio mars.
I’m only speaking for myself and as a Plutonian (though I do have Juno and Uranus in Scorpio), but if any so-called friend decides to make me a target of drama (even just implying nasty things about me but not said out loud), I amputate, end of story. Some times this has to do with a number of previous issues I’ve had with them though, but my tolerance of asshatery is very low, especially after my Saturn Return.
I don’t think Plutonians or Scorpios always do at last resort, and I think a lot of the times has to do with a mixture of difficulty of verbalizing all the issues they had with the other person (fo r me it sometimes takes years), and a desire to avoid future conflicts, which would be very nasty if they held on to those relationships.
(Pluto aspecting Sun, Moon, Mercury, Jupiter, Saturn, Neptune, Ascendant, Midheaven, Eros, Eris, Ixion, and etc; Saturn, Vesta, Orcus, Amor in the 8th house)
*HUG SARTORI* I’m sorry, hon.
I could never do that. I’m a Pisces. I go down with the ship, so to speak. It sounds strange, but I envy you.
(((satori)))
{{{satori}}}}
Relief is my favorite clue for checking to see if I made the right decision. But I DON’T like having to make that type . . . another Scorpio mars here.
aw thanks. I thought I was being stealth cos I wasn’t whinging. yesterday was a different story.
Scorpio rising – I ampute people who don’t understand. The last one was supposed to be my friend. Yet she thought I would arrange a meeting and not show up. she was the one who changed at the last moment the place and didn’t even bother check if I was where we agreed.So I was stand waiting in cold. Before that I amputed my mother – there’s not forgiveness here. You hurt me well right back at you. I rather be alone than with mean or stupid people!
(((satori)))
I have been both the amputator and the amputee, and I feel for you satori, and what you’re going through. Tough decision to make.
I hear what you’re saying about checking your own stuff, too, Elsa, when you are the one being amputated. It’s really the silver lining to the cloud to be able to learn something valuable about yourself and to grow from such a painful lesson.
I have Scorpio Moon and Asc., and when someone pushes me too far, I am just so DONE, I mean there are a limited number of ways you can try to get your point across to someone, and if they’re not listening the only other thing to do is to just walk away.
At one point I amputated my entire family of origin for 6 years – the dynamics were so toxic and I got tired of being the scapegoat – so I just cut off communication and did so entirely as an act of self-preservation, not to hurt anyone or anything. I used the time to check my own stuff, sorted out what was on my own plate, did what I could to heal and grow, then reestablished contact when I was ready and for all the right reasons – because I loved and missed them. And in the end, I was grateful that they loved and missed me too.
I have not said anything before on this blog so I would love to do so now!
As an Aries I have a tendency of minding my own business. I have also been in the middle of a bad Pluto transit and several Saturn ones so that’s the only business I can and should mind. So when I lived with a Sagittarius + heavy, heavy Scorpio influence I was fast to cut myself off from that before the living situation was even over.
She wanted total control of the household and was a non-master at lying right out of her teeth when the lying would “preserve” her at that given moment. She definitely set up an veil of invisibility in the household. My Cancer boyfriend could not come in sometimes because the vibe was so nasty.
Anyway, throughout that whole situation I never understood what she had against me. It only started when we lived together. We were friends before. But later she let me know. It was just simple things to do with the way that I live, which have little to no effect on her, especially when we barely had the same schedules. I guess I am a no bullshit kind of gal. I had cut off any business in the household and used it for sleeping. Eventually I found that wasting anymore energy on her and the house was bad for me as I was struggling with college classes, my art (which suffered) and working as much as possible.
At the end it blew up because her lies came back at her. I ended up losing a few bucks out of it but overall I came out okay (but have been needing to take ample time to recover, to make sure I don’t attract someone else the same again.)
Sadly, the details of everything are too long! I am 22 and this is the last person I am living with for a long time. Just think of every “roommate” thing that may bother someone.
I guess the Scorpio cutting off or the unexplained unhappiness with someone as a form of self-preservation makes sense. My Scorpio influence is a Mars in the 8th and that’s it. I have done this with people before, oftentimes too late (Mars in Taurus). Her reasoning was pretty cheap and the direct influence of some serious fear of her past. She is a master at cutting people off. But I figure that maybe attempts at “getting me back” would have been better suited if she had something to say to me or think about me that was somehow new or really got at my insecurities.
I guess after dealing with Scorpio influenced people in the past, like my mother, I tend to find their attempts to be humorous and melodramatic. The situation ended with her literally finding any way to kick and scream out the door but was always one step behind. Even though she was not perfect in the house I never thought of mentioning it, I was not bothered. I tend to be a pretty no-bothered kind of person so these kind of things always make me laugh. So much energy wasted!
It was creepy, though. She was a nut-job and a repellent. None of my friends wanted to come to my house! And now that I have moved it’s still hard to get them to come by. Hahaha. I think the worse thing about it all was that I was so quick to check my own stuff throughout the whole thing. The situation taught me that I was not as much of a disaster as I thought I was. Funnily enough. I regret letting her unwarranted anger get the best of me at the beginning. I’d always rather mind my own business.
Afterward I started hanging out with a Scorpio who sticks around with people through the grit, no matter if they frustrate her. She’s the kind of Scorpio who inspires me. People are more apt to cut her off than she them. She is pretty fearless and intense. But then, she has an Aries moon.
I understand the Scorpio way of handling things and was mainly responding to the comment above from First Degree Burn. I understand that kind of anger mentioned above, my Mars is in the 8th, but I choose to try and curb it in other things such as art, sex, writing, etc. Anytime I have become vengeful I have learned how fruitless it is in the long run.
Scorpios can sure teach you quite a bit about life, though. And that’s always a good thing.
I have moon conjunct neptune in scorpio and am so sensitive to the processes of the people around me I can get really ill if they’re toxic. But I’m also very empathetic so tend to attract damaged people – you can imagine then the amount of freezing and amputation I’ve had to do in my life. Part of the reason it has to be done without explanation is that I have found these kinds of people become so dependent on your soaking up their crap for them, that if you try to explain why you won’t deal any more, they drag you into yet more scenes designed to drain your energy, they won’t be reasonable about it (because then they’d have to admit they’ve been unreasonable). This moon/neptune aspect also gives me pretty powerful clairvoyant abilities, and I’ve found that if I do explain to people what I won’t tolerate any more, their judgement and criticism and constant chewing over what I’ve said comes back to me clairvoyantly, and even though I’m physically away from them, I’m under attack psychically. So basically, sometimes I’ve just got to amputate, without explanation, to save my health and sanity. What I’m looking at now in myself is BOUNDARIES. Why do I attract these kinds of people and why do I let it get so far that amputation has to happen? Because at the end of the day it seems they don’t actually want help, they want someone to dump on so they can keep avoiding their issues. Maybe it goes both ways, maybe I want them to dump on me so I can keep myself so busy cleaning up other peoples crap I don’t have to look at my own. Hmmmm. After all, if I had any self respect I would not allow it. Anyone got any idea how to set boundaries while remaining empathetic? How to stop users taking advantage of your kind nature- without becoming unkind?
yes, to all. it’s cold and sad and sometimes necessary. and sometimes nobody did anything wrong, really, just one person is a reminder of a time in someone’s life they haven’t reconciled yet and they need to heal, and won’t if the person is around, reopening the wounded memories…
My sister would bring over either a friend or a boyfriend and right away I would know if they were NOT right for my sister. I would freeze out these people my sister associated with. I’d tell her they were no good for these reasons blah blah blah…then when they would come around I’d give them the dirtiest evil eye, tell them if they f*cked with my sister I’d break there knee caps slowly. Now though this may sound not so nice, I was NEVER wrong about these certain people. This bothered my sister incredibly, because deep down she knew I was right and didn’t want to deal with change. Now that I’m older I’m developing a higher vibration of Scorpio and deal with these things differently.
Scorpio rising and sun conjunct mars/pluto. I amputate and have been amputated. It works for me. I see life as energy and in certain situations the energy is just no longer there. Sometime one argument and there was no going back but other times when people have done it to me I see that there was a crisis looming over time – an irritation that was just building. I think some relationships last forever and others fit a period of time in your life and when these end they create a space for new energy to come in. I find it an honest way to operate although I appreciate that for some people it is hard.
I had a scorpio boyfriend last year and when it finished I knew there would be no contact – that I wouldn’t have to worry about that with him and I respected him for that. A year later he passed me on his bike and we had a quick text exchange – glad you looked well etc. It was honest, heart felt and again contained. Nothing since. I like that – its honourable and real.
Wow, what an incredible thread! Putting the proof to the reality of the longstanding “powerful Scorpio” myth.
I’ve had close Scorpio friends over the years, and for long long periods of years, 30 years and longer. I have a strong 8th house myself with Pluto and Mars there. Scorpio friends are only good friends. I have no casual scorpio friends.
Funny the timeliness of this topic/thread for me, though it seems to be recurring and long-lived itself (a scorpionic thread). I have for a long time been negotiating a freeze-out/amputation with a Scorpio friend of 35 years. Yes, I am often a needy type, but he recognizes that I am not always that way. There is so much I could say on this topic! It would fill a small book. My Scorpio friends chose me, for the most part, so I don’t feel the onus of having driven them off. In fact, it still hasn’t happened in any simple way. I lost one potential Scorpio (romantic) friend once, due to his jealousy over a third, Cancer friend. He never hung around to see who I actually preferred.
And in fact, it was a Cancer lady with a Sag rising who once very notably and stingingly froze me out of her life. For my own part, I’ve done the freezing out thing a few times or more. Most significantly with a long standing Aquarius friend, someone who I once or twice felt very needy towards. This Aquarian situation reminds me of the situation Elsa has described elsewhere with her son’s sometime Acquarius friend. The man in question is exceedingly good at making me feel frozen out. I can’t tell you how much. It’s radical though, let me assure you. Still, I’m the one who has amputated him. It feels like my only possible reaction to what they call the “detachment” of acquarius that I have too often found so unbearable.
And let me apologize that there is someone else here called JJ. It’s too confusing. I don’t know who was here first or more consistently, but anyway I’ll be changing my user name when I can think what to change it too.
I’m not a Scorp by Sun, Moon, or Asc, but I do have a strong Mars in 7th in Scorpio (an already strong placement with many, many aspects in my chart that make it much stronger). Scorpio friends are convinced that I’m just another Scorpio. I cut people out mostly out of self-preservation, but after much thought. I have probably already gone through grief/anger/etc of ‘death’ of the friendship/relationship before I even cut the person off. The cutting off actually occurs after I’ve mostly healed. I no longer need them around because I’ve healed – the damage has been done, I don’t need it done again, so goodbye. And cutting off feels bad on my end, but it feels justified and necessary, even though I’m deeply aware of the pain on BOTH ends. I will especially cut if I feel like the pain on my end was much larger. As soon as I realize the other person as toxic, manipulative, etc, they are OUT.
But I do also cut off as a sort of punch in the face, since punching for real would tend to have oneself tossed into jail. I will also cut off in a way that SEEMS like revenge, but I actually do it because I feel the other person is being REALLY stupid and is totally wasting my time, like someone having a bitchfit and is no longer being remotely rational. I have no energy or time for childish tantrums from adults. It’s actually me stopping myself from seriously injuring the other person. If I just pretend they don’t even exist, maybe the desire to kill them because they’re acting like a subhuman will become subdued.
This an addendum to my comment from April of last year which was not intended to spark humour but rather fear and torment. As I read my own words a year later, I am cut to the quick. Amused, amazed and keenly aware that such inexcusable behaviour is bereft of conventional expectations, I continue to “lurk in the shadows of subtility and seductive selective madness” . . . but have fine-tuned my attitude to fit the frame of political correctness.
Little do my coworkers, colleagues and comrades know. After all, they judge the man by his cover.
And we all know Scorpio is the master of veiled intention, a tender, sensitive and passionate soul who hides big teeth behind a blank stare.
I’ll do/take amputation over gangrene anytime and no other acceptable treatment is available. Just use clean sharp tools and do it fast and do it well.
And a modicum of explanation is called for everyone’s sanity -unless the person is absolutly off their rockers.
I am not a scorpio but my 8th is busy with my mostly placid Taurus Sun. Merc and Venus.
Oh and fuzzy or nebulous approaches are probly the least efficient, painfree ones.
I just had a Scorpio guy who I was dating for five months do to this to me and its just plain cowardly. The good part of him he was supportive and focused on us but then again he was secretive and cunning and never took responsiblity for his bs. I tried to break it off with him recently(I am a Sag with a Pieces moon and Cap rising and have a venus in scorpio) bc of his non committment issues. He sucked me back in, made me think he wanted to work out said he wanted to reveal how he really about how he feels..only to freeze me out! Ugh… What a waste of time! Not a good friend, boyfriend or anything who does that to a person. We could have remained civil. Scorpios will suck the life out of you and try to mind**** you at the same time. His “feelings” and “issues” were way more important than mine. Completely self absorbed..Never again! Thanks for letting me vent!
Would it be OK to make a distinction between ‘evolved’ and ‘unevolved’ Scorpios? Define evolved as spiritually attuned. Unevolved somewhere below earthworm. An unevolved Scorpio is possibly the worst type of human to encounter.
I’d suggest the issue isn’t how cruel Scorpios are, but rather how to detect the difference. A spiritual Scorpio can be of great benefit to one.
I offer this only because I come from a bit of Scorpio and although I could ignore others’ suffering at their hands because I know how to deal with the bast#@d Scorpios, I feel compelled to provide some navigation.
I instantly detect a Scorpio’s spiritual orientation and ignore the earthworm variety while draw near the phoenix variety. Even another Scorpio luxuriates in the presence of a transcendent Scorp.
P.S. My post isn’t intended to cause more controversy around those dang Scorpios but rather provide some road-side assistance.
This all reminds me of the Tom Cruise – Nicole Kidman split. He’a a Scorp rising, and she was quite vocal about how he just ended it, no warning, no nothing, and she said he never told her why. Closed the book.
I’ve been amputated by a double Scorpio friend. No warning at all. She just stopped all communication one day. She used to try to solve all my problems for me. It was weird, she used to take responsibility for things that weren’t hers to take. I certainly did not want her to, but she always seemed so worried about taking care of things. I don’t know if that’s a Scorpio trait, but control certainly is.
I actually had that happen one other time too. No Scorpio in her chart, but she had Mars rising in Taurus square Pluto exact. All her friends were Scorps though. Out of the blue one day she told me she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. Via email. It was good timing, as I was having a hard time with her negativity, so it was all for the best, but I still was not expecting her to ‘break up’ with me.
I have a male friend with no Scorpio except Saturn in Scorp on the Dsc and he has amputated many people in his life. Every single one of his siblings to be exact. All for different reasons. He says he has no problem closing the book on people.
I agree, an integrated Scorpio is a glorious thing to behold. It’s a rather rare thing to find however, but they are out there.
actually makes me think of two relatives of mine. an aunt and uncle. both scorpios. The aunt spent two years in seclusion a good 10 years ago and came out of it this beautiful person with some amazing kindness and very giving. My uncle on the other hand has been dealing with drug and alcohol abuse since his teenage years. Has yet to clean up his act.
She is amazing to just be in the same room with and he will bring down a whole family gathering.
I met my Scorpio Sun, Moon, Venus when I was 15 years old. We started off as just playing around like teenagers. By the time we were 18 we had begun a more mature and intimate relationship. My Scorpio was (and still is) very ambitious so school was the be-all and end-all of his early twenties. However, while he clearly told me not to wait for him and that I should find someone to love me, I only used other men as emotional bookmarks until my Scorpio found his way back to me. Now, he tells me that he has met someone (we are about 22-23 years) and he is completing his BA in Biology. He begins to talk about the future. Suddenly the woman is pregnant. When the baby is born he comes to me. I do not get pregnant although had I, I am not sure he would have married me anyway. The next year she gets pregnant with baby number two and he comes to me to tell me. I have not gotten pregnant yet. Time passes and I realize that my youth is going fast but I do not make the move for another six years. However, when I do my move is to another state altogether. I realized that being accessible to him was my downfall. He finally marries her and well he has started in on his masters degree…..I do the unthinkable one day by calling the office — leaving a message with the receptionist “to tell him that his wife called.” This was a Thursday late afternoon. By Friday evening he had called and asked had I left the message. Yes. Well off went the kid gloves and he flat out told me never to do that again and further never to refer to myself as his wife. I told him to f***k off and hung up the phone. He called about 15 times that evening and each time all I did was answer the phone saying the same two words and hanging up. By midnight I needed a drink. I unplugged the phone. That was the last time I spoke to him. He never came over to talk me into staying or to try to comfort me. I lived in that apartment for another four years and he never came there once in that time. I met my present husband, and we have been married for 18 years. Fast forward to October 25, 2009. I had a feeling about my ex and something about all of the deaths this year got to me. I knew his mother’s address and mailed a birthday card to her care hoping she would give it to him. I did not write my postal address — only the city and state. On November 2 he emailed me using the one I wrote inside the card. The first thing he said to me was “I have been looking for you for years.” He claims he hired a private investigator which cost him lots of cash but he never found out anything about me. Here’s the thing…he thought (1) that I was dead or (2) that I was in jail. I can’t figure out why he would think that at all ! Go figure. Well, we talk more and email some. Finally, the calls and emails stop in week two (beginning November 9). In week three I learn that he is in Medical School and getting his PhD. All of my emails go unreplied and none of my voice mailed are returned. Week three (Thanksgiving), I ask how we are supposed to learn about each other after all of this time if we don’t communicate. He states that “people don’t change.” In the next breath, though, he says “I don’t really know you, though do I?” So, I say, if people don’t change then I am the same person you claim I am your claim that you don’t really know me is a gross contradiction. He says, well…”I don’t know…but I have to get ready for school.” We hang up and I deleted my Yahoo account with that email address.
“I realized that being accessible to him was my downfall.”
Honey you said it yourself. And Benjamin Franklin said an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Go figure
18 years later! Some things are better left alone.
I hope this is the end of that for you. Like been there, done that says.
By the way, I am Cancer Sun, Capricorn Moon and Scorpio rising !
OK, been browsing through this extended trailer of Scorpio love/hate relationship comments, opinions and points-of-view, but this one by “First Degree Burn” on April 30/08 takes the cake, like OMG:
“When people hurt you, betray your sacred trust or abuse your love and friendship, the thing to do is hang around the sidelines in the shadows for awhile. Let them think that you froze them out by making yourself somewhat scarce, yes, but remain everpresent and in control behind the scenes. Your spirit lingers. Your invisible presence and ominous energy remains unscathed. Your ghost succumbs to wreaking continual havoc veiled in at times subtle, at times outrageous, activity executed at inopportune occasions.
For it follows that when these offending parties expect you to freeze them out, you are doing them a favor by doing so. This is not revenge, this is foolishly fulfilling their expectation!
The evolved Scorpion never plays to another trumpeter’s tune. A true lone wolf, the Scorpion marches to the beast (beat) of his own drummer. They devise their own strategy and avoid the obvious. They lurk in the shadows of subtility and seductive selective madness.
The whole idea is that your traitors and abusers feel false security in thinking you will not bother with revenge and that you will forget the matter by simply “freezing them out.”
No, as a bonafide certified triple Scorpion (quadruple if you include my ascendant) I believe the best way to deal with such horrible people is to torment them. Aim below the belt. Knife behind the back. Get them where they deserve it, when they least expect it.
Get these mortal offenders so paranoid, they are constantly expecting you to pop out of the shadows and out of the murky water like a gator lurking in the slime of their subconscious ready to devour.
This is the time to disappear and do more important things and carry on with your life with more worthy individuals. You can always return to check up on the abhorrent offenders at a later date and more convenient time. At which point you can monitor their stress and anxiety-o-meter and devise an even more poisonous and deadly arrow to hit the mark, again, waiting for the moment they least expect it.
This cycle can continue for however long you wish. Remember, the true Scorpio is a master of manipulation and control. I will never date or ask a Scorpio woman out for this reason. No matter how attractive or sensual or sexual she may be it is simply not worth the headache.
And because she is a woman, she will beat the Scorpio man at his own game as she is master of it. Women do not play fair. To the male mind, the female response is entirely emotional and frequently irrational. Simply put, she will catch you off guard and manipulate you to fulfill her own pleasure in beating you at your own game.”
Mandy, great post. Moral of the story, be nice to Scorpios! And we’ll be nice back! But don’t cross us. Lest we lurk in the shadows of the mind *tsk tsk
Poor lowly Scorpions, nothing better to do with their lives than exact revenge for slights real or imagined. Have fun, y’all, I’ll be out here being happy and doing cool stuff.
This is such a great post elsa, responses & all. And you wonder why you attract scorpio types to your blog.. It’s the profound understanding here. I appreciate it immensely.
Yes, it’s Halloween 24/7 in the Scorpion masquerade
And if Cancer is predominant in the chart, be wary of the Full Moon
lol
Thanks Esa for that. It’s a theme in my lIfe at the moment with a Libra acquaintance. I have the Sun and a host of stellium planets in Scorpio. My Libra friend is killing me, taxing me so much that it’s abusive. I have decided to the dismay of others to cease close interactions. She takes, takes, takes…by god, it doesn’t end.
Yes, I was frozen out by a Scorp or rather, he initiated the freezing process and I completed it; I guess it was a fixed sign vs. fixed sign deal, where, IMO, finality was the only logical solution. It was stinging and actually made me physically ill BUT I still feel it was preferable to other Scorp experiences I have with family members, who are not so easily “cut offable.” My mother, with Venus in Scorpio, is one of these! She shows love “the Scorpion way” which to me, as a Leo rising with Aquarian Sun/Venus/Mars, just ends up feeling like being tortured with red-hot pokers. Or pincers. Both!
D., I am a Sagittarius and I smile ALOT! And I’ve been misunderstood at times.
Sorry your friend misunderstood you.
I’m a Scorpio rising and have had to amputates a few close friendships so far. It’s very true to Elsa’s situation where I felt I was just so unappreciated and misunderstood that I had to cut ties out of self-preservation.
I think w/ Scorpios being misunderstood is just the most painful part of an unequal relationship. That’s all we ever really want. True, Scorpios are very judgemental, but they suffer from their own judgement of themselves most of all, so they want someone who knows them in and out and can still love and accept them, flaws and all. Scorpios can give deep, true, honest-to-god validation but it is hard for them to receive this from others.
Interestingly, I went through a 6-month period when both my Scorpio best friend and my Scorpio boyfriend (the two ppl in my whole life that I felt the deepest, most wonderful connection to) were both amputated from my life. I cut off my best friend because our passive-aggressive ways made us grow apart and that hurt me a lot, and my boyfriend cut me off because he was much older and more mature and realized I couldn’t give him the love he wanted.
I don’t have any planets except Uranus (in the 12th) in Scorpio, but I do have A tight conjunction with Sun/Pluto in Libra and Mars in Cancer in the 8th.I have to say, the aputation theme sounds pretty familiar to me.For along time I didn’t have aword for it.I just knew that when someone had maxed me out through abhorrent behavior/abuse etc… that I was very good at putting lots of effective “distance” between us.I also am good at leaving some associations with lesser offenders to simmer on the back burner for a minute.
It takes a while, and a lot, but I am capable of getting to the point of being totally cold to these people’s feelings.That’s when I’m most polite.And the trust? GONE.I amputated a scorpio friend of mine after years of verbal jabs and insults stemming from her insecurities and imagined slights on my part.Just did the same to a fellow Libra when I realized she was too competitive/envious of me to really want the best for me.That hurt like hell..but she’s been calling mutual friends with the story…”haven’t seen her for months…I’m worried”.
The fact is that I am now starting to realize the emotional depth of connection I am capable of building/pulling away.I don’t know if it’s more of the Cancer self-protection/indirect thing going but it has been my modus operandi for my whole life.I own it now as an adult though.
I was wondering if they Freeze you they are the ones BURNED!! The Scorpio!I see it pointless doing the whatever they do. That shows the SCORPIOS are really WEAK!!!
revenge ?
Venus in Scorpio.. forever love?
Forever love??? now after reading this about
***For me, Freezing gives me the time and space I need to cool down, and sort out the feelings that lead to the freeze.. <== That means the SCORPIO is hot and heavy.. The SCORPIO not the VICTIMS…
I have no idea how can they win .. Scorpio always the WEAK one..”weakest”.. I speak the truth!!They cry!
VENUS in SCORPIO ..That means they will be Burned and hurt forever then..
Scorpio is weak!
Knife behind the back. Get them where they deserve it, when they least expect it. <==
Nothing really weakens someone else?
I think its funney they have the revenge and all the control isses..? May happiness be with them.
I am not a Scorpio, but I am somewhat Plutonian with Pluto conjunct the ascendant and a few planets in Scorpio. I also have lots of experience with Scorpios, because every close relationship I have ever had has been with a Scorpio – friendship and romantic. The funny thing is, I have been more the amputator than they have – I have had to cut myself loose from them, because they were so taxing to me, and harmful to me. They seemed to be living off of my energy – sucking it right up.
I am not proud of this, but I am a notorious amputator in relationships – and maybe this is Pluto in my chart. If you’ve ever hit rock bottom, been to hell and back Pluto-style, because of a relationship, you don’t want to go there again. You would rather send someone else to hell than go back there yourself.
The amputation? It’s painful, of course it hurts. It hurts because Plutonians tend not to love freely and selectively, but really LOVE our loved ones intensely. It’s like losing a part of ourselves. But you get over it, you have to – because you realize it’s for your own survival. Freezing someone out is easier than slowly breaking away, too. It’s less complicated – like going cold turkey off an addiction – and it works.
Plus, I hate to admit it, but it is kind of a satisfying way to punish this loved one who hurt you. Secretly, ha ha. The love is there, but who doesn’t want a tiny bit of satisfaction?
Well, this is my experience. I hope you found it helpful.
Scorp. moon, venus in 8th opp pluto. However, scorp moon is softened by a trine to venus in pisces…so I never really cut anyone off, until a few years ago, when I was betrayed by friends. I cut them off pretty much completely…it hurt like hell, but I couldn’t take it anymore, I was pushed to the limit.
I have also been frozen out by a Scorp. Not really sure why? He always wants the upper hand, very controlling. I think majorly insecure and over protective of himself and of getting hurt..he was hurt very much as a child and thru life. Its a defense and im learning to see that…but as a scorp with my own abandonement issues, its really hard not to take it personally and feel hurt.
I read somewhere once that many times scorps marry each other. I think this may happen because a scorp is the only one who can really know the pain and insecurities of another scorp. and tolerate all the intensity and baggage that sign comes with.
There is truth and there is truth.
This whole collection has been more helpful and insightful into the scopian mind than anything else i’ve recieved in the last seven years of varying agony over a singular scorpio relationship.
First degree??? Try third degree burn… at least.. when salt of the earth meets the fixed water ice of a scorpio. A chemical burn that leaves scars and fractures the psyche of both parties involved. Holy moly. I am still trying to reconcile with this particular lad. As I, sun sign capricorn, am the soulmate to his best friend, sun sign taurus -I cannot help but think it would better if we could bury at least one of the hatchets involved in our association. As well as honestly, get some long overdue honest insight and closure out of the whole deal.
What can crack the ice anyway? Obviously a spiritual angle is helpful… come on with the compassion! as well. I don’t even hold the godawful aforementioned revenge and psychological shadow puppets against scorpio. I admire it partially. It’s hard to find words to facilitate peace… what can one who wants reconciliation really say to a scorpio?
miss p, i like your blog very much. if there were no comments here, i think i’d read it ten times a day. but every couple of weeks you touch on scorpio, and it feels like everyone and their mother comes around to slander the scorpio. i hate to admit how much it bothers me, which is why i was so touched by this entry.
it was very touching, and truthfully i can entirely sympathize with you – i was amputated by someone when i was very young, and the pain of that was something i still can’t talk about. it wasn’t the amputation that hurt me, it was the shame i felt over my own carelessness toward this person who was only trying to help me heal myself. she wasn’t a scorpio, just a fiery pisces who reached out to me when i was still coming away from a horrible childhood. she was never unkind to me, but the weight i put on her was sinking her ship. and the healing she gave me took effect anyway; that hurt the worst! i swallowed up everything and gave nothing and i still walked away the winner. it took ten years to forgive myself for what i did, and when i came to her with my apology she told me how much she’d missed me and how proud she was of me. that’s the type of kindness a great pisces can show, and my gratitude for this experience can’t be articulated.
i have the sun, merc, venus, and pluto in scorpio. aquarius moon, capricorn rising. perhaps if i didn’t get her lesson at the age i did, i might have become like the scorpios your readers say they fear and loath. but really, i’m nothing like they say and neither are my many scorpio friends. i’m very opposed to all this “but if you meet a bad scorpio” business because i’ve met bad cancers (ouch!) and bad capricorns (run!) and bad aquarians (terrifying!) and bad geminis (suicide!) and even bad pisceans (hide!!!).
thank you, seriously. not just for saying something nice about scorpios and endeavoring(with astonishing tact) to articulate what scorpios can’t say – very few things in life happen suddenly so if someone got “amputated” they were probably a serious danger to the body – but thank you for writing about something which caused you discomfort. your bravery and your willingness are invaluable lessons to me.
I was thinking all of this talk of amputation as an act of self-preservation reminded me of a bible verse :
Matthew 5:30 “And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”
Spooky, huh? 
woah, Joe, literal!
You are sooo right im a scorp. rising w/ sun in virgo and i helped my friends out alot and went out of my way for them…once lol when i was in the 7th grade i gave my friend my treasured bratzs books XD i loved those..and a doll that was just for christmas then on her b-day she wanted me to buy her a DS nintedo ds those things costed alot .. and then she used to play hit me which i hated >.> but idk i still hung around her and i do that too that free session therapy XD lol idk i love helping people, listening to tjheir problems and just helping but … uhh people always seem to shoot me down >.>
Just wondering if a basically good Scorp going through some bad transits could give someone the third degree and then regret it . . . or is it always a final, black and white, bridges-burned-no-stone-unturned type of deal?
This is her stats: born Sept 18, 1970 at 8:53 am in Vancouver, Canada.
She turned wicked, vicious and spiteful during 2004-2005, and recently has tried to re-initiate contact. Can she be trusted?
I don’t want anything to do with her anymore even though she’s a Virgo Sun, because her Sun is near exact conjunct Pluto in the 12th (scary, underhanded behind-the-scenes killer behaviour).
Plus her chart ruler is located in Scorpio, in the 1st house, very evident and obvious. Venus isn’t always a nice planet, because it also represents the love of money.
I’m a Sun Scorpio and agree with your diagnosis here, because it takes one to know one. Thanks for your insights Elsa, much appreciated.
“what can one who wants reconciliation really say to a scorpio?”
I’m sorry that I hurt you so badly, I didn’t know what I was doing. Please kill me quickly and get it over with.
Hmm…
re-reading my old comment. I recently discovered that the Scorpio I mentioned has a packed 7th House, with Mars/Uranus conjunct there.
So, while I was very confused about her Scorpio bits, learning more about astrology on the whole has helped me understand the situation much better.
It sure is nice to have distance behind me, to gain perspective. I still have more Scorpio Moons/ASC people in my life than Suns, tho!
Scorpio sun here. Your piece has really helped me, actually – indeedy, the image of the ‘cold, callous’ scorpio is a shallow depiction, and there’s usually more going on when you really plum the depths of a situation. I’ve recently dissociated myself from two friends (who are also friends with each other – it was a circle of sorts). This has caused me a massive amount of anguish and pain, but I really felt compelled to do something, only after thinking long and hard about it. Freezing people out is not something I do lightly, and I’m also extremely averse to confrontation, so perhaps the ‘freezing out’ action is a consequence of that. The few times I’ve done this has usually been because others have been superficial, emotionally draining, and opposed to my personal values. I’m certainly not perfect myself (painfully aware of my own shortcomings). I know distancing hurts those on the receiving end, but it hurts the scorp just as much.
Thanks for your honesty and insight x
wow…just came across this thread now (: haha it’s a little late i guess but who knows, maybe a scorpio who has decided to cut off this thread will come back?
anyway…
i just recently discovered that i am a pisces sun with aquarius moon & scorpio rising. what does it mean to have all 3 water signs?
also, i’ve realized that i have a very extreme personality. i can be extremely giving, generous, kind, will be with you through the ups & downs…but as soon as you betray me, the guillotine drops with no remorse. i never really realized i could be this harsh until recently. i’ve cut out a couple best friends over the years after they had wronged me to a point that felt like they didn’t appreciate the things i did for them.
i think scorpios or scorpio rising tend to be extremely loyal. and if you double cross them…that’s it. we knew we did everything possible to cater to that person and hold them down. that’s why they have no guilt or bad feelings about cutting off people cold. when you give of yourself completely & it’s not reciprocated… byebye.
anyways, i feel like i’m kind of screwed with this match up. pisces & scorpio rising? man it explains a lot..lmfao. i will be the best friend you’ve ever had. i will sacrifice myself for you. i’ve even given really nice, expensive gifts to some of my best friends. but once you show me you’re brushing me off, you’re getting the sting & i’m gone.
i think scorpios also have an uncanny ability to hold off & give the silent treatment. i mastered that as a teenager…if someone screwed me over, i could go years without speaking a word to them. of course it’s not comfortable, but it sends thema very clear message about f***ing over kind people & taking people for granted. i don’t think people ever get over the sting of the scorpio…do you?
i want to know if anyone else is pisces sun + scorpio rising??? halp…lmao
thanks!! love your website (:
Forget the 3 faces of Eve, how about the 16 faces of Sybil.
Yes, still lurking, and revenge is sweet. Just takes a little time, sometimes.
oops, forgot aka First Degree Burn lol
Seriously. I guess I must have been super-pissed back in April of ’08. Wonder why.
hey people who came back to this post XD i have a question…why do we freeze people out?! i do it a lot..at the first sign of betrayal or lies, i’m gone in a flash. sometimes i feel a little bad later, but i guess it’s a protective mechanism.
anyone know why we do this???
I have no Scorpio or 8th house in my chart, but I did amputate a friend that I felt like a 5th wheel with. He was talking to his 4 other friends while ignoring me. It came to the point where after about 3 months of observation that I realized our friendship was going nowhere and that we just weren’t meant to be friends.
To be honest we didn’t have that much in common and he probably was just pretending to be friends out of pity because when he met me for the first time I was sitting alone at my university eating. Lol.
I want to read all of the comments to this, because I missed it before. I’m not much of one for amputating, but I’ve been thinking about it. I don’t know if I don’t do it, because I’m needy in some way, and want everything to eventually be okay, or if I just trust that things that change – that things blow over.
My usual M.O. is to isolate until I feel better – if I don’t do that, then I will feel defensive, and things will get ugly in some way, and I don’t like to affect others with my own troubles/drama. I also get overly stressed, because I don’t like to be the cause of upset, or to be upset (obviously) – someone seems to have interpreted an action of mine as that of someone who doesn’t care, but in reality, I put something off because I cared too much. If I didn’t, it wouldn’t have the potential to upset me.
I’m a Scorpio ascendant, Moon/Venus/Sth Node in the 8th, and I’m tempted to amputate almost everyone. I was amused by something earlier, but now I’m feeling that there’s no point in even trying. To go back, keep things superficial with just about everyone, and keep my real self to myself.
I’ve also realized that being acutely aware of how you can make others feel – how they feel in your presence – could be seen as being narcissistic. I remember my extreme shyness (and my sister’s), making people very uncomfortable. I lightened up a bit, and they looked visibly relieved when I at least tried, but I hated that I’d had that effect on anyone in the first place – I felt both ashamed and embarrassed, like a freak. So, I avoided seeing them again.
I’m also not much of one for revenge. I might not be able to hold back an angry word or three, but to deliberately hurt someone? Not my style.
It’s pretty much a: storming, forming, norming, performing and finally separating stage
People enter your life for a reason, and when that purpose has been filled, they take off to fulfill their other duties
Oh isn’t this so true. I have to agree with JJ also, which gave me a good chuckle I have to say.
I have 4 planets in my scorpio chart, that includes the sun, and the number of people I have cut off over the last 24 years is actually amazing however in recent years it is becoming more and more frequent. I’m in the middle of amputating a friend who I’ve known for about 13 years, loyalty and all so its hard, but every time I see her, hear from her, or see something about her on Facebook I start to feel exhausted.
I’ve realised that she has spent the last 5 years or thereabouts projecting, envying and interfering. And it isn’t until I have stopped being around her so often that I saw that. I thought she was helping me but really I’m helping her with all of her problems and her life. She doesn’t want to live her life, she wants to ask about mine and do nothing with her own. Its like living through me whilst my own energy is wasted.
I’ve had to cut off a lot of people really because most people I know have some sort of problem, they tell me, I get burdened, look miserable and then be told that I should be ‘happy’. Well would anyone be happy if you’ve spent the last 2 weeks hearing all the negativity in people’s lives and worst still picking up the tension that people push out.
It’s true when someone said that scorpios become a mirror of people’s behaviour. When someone behaves a certain way with me after a while, it could be 2 days or 4 years, I’ll behave the same way towards them. No one likes it but hey they’re staring their own karma in the face.
I have to say that I love being a scorpio. **We Rock**
I have been frozen out by a double Scorpio Sun/Moon is Scorpio. But I have no regrets,I think that was the blow I needed to wake up and work on myself.
http://www.lovemarrie.com/2/post/2011/04/i-got-stung-by-a-scorpio.html
Wow. What a well written article.
I think Scorpio’s are way sensitive (the evolved ones), and have high levels of emotion, and don’t know how to simply detach (like Aquarius) while still being around. For some reason that energy can be all or nothing. I think they have strong survival skills, and are in contact with their animal nature – and I gues the amputation is about survival on some level. My mother had a lot of scorpio energy. They thing about her with her family – it was almost Sicilian – once you were in – you were in. I am grateful for it and I hung in there with her, but I also had to learn how to see through things. She froze me out emotionally for several years (ages 19-21) when Saturn was transiting scorpio for all things. I was still a member of the family – but there was no emotional connection. I did the same thing to her for about three year about 10 years later. We fought it out – but she wanted me to say my truth and fight back – .
It is a karmic relationship I guess – but that is not necessarily a bad thing – as I decided to be water/rock. My pisces part – water – dripped, dripped, dripped, and Taurus patience hung in there. I think there is mutual respect now, and a relationship – but that passage to adulthood was difficult.
I don’t know why that energy feels it has to be all or nothing – but I think it hits them in their core – like they won’t live on some deep level.
I am sorry about the loss of your friend. I had an intimate relationship with a male that I was frozen out of – took about 10 years to get over.
This is shockingly timely having just been amputated, well shall we say I’m being cut….slowly.
This is definately self preservation by the Scorpio, he has admitted as such, as he is a pretty evolved one in some ways.
He is overwhelmed (someone else mentioned this) by everything that is going on in his and my life and doesn’t want to risk us getting any closer than we already are.
I am waiting for the lets be friends speech – he insists he doesn’t want me out of his life (which is selfishness on his part) but I’m afraid I shall have to go myself. He has Mars/Moon in Cancer and we have a tremendous soulmate score in synastry, he is having problems letting go but I think ultimately the Scorpionic will win and I’ll be cut so I think I shall do a bit of SP myself before that happens.
It doesnt mattr who does it – I dont think I’ll recover quickly.
Thanks Elsa
I heard once about the typical Scorpios top 3 professions are: judge, jury and executioner
funny thing most Scorpios like me, some even fear me
just going by the sun sign especially in synastry is unreliable
Hi Saturnjourney
Funny job roles and i can prob believe it!
Just in case you were referring to my synastry score with the Scorpio comment I made I have had a full davidson, ansticia, etc synastry done for us
sun sign synsatry/ Pah!
D, am experiencing the same thing.
It’s selfish on both our parts.
For me it actually ended a couple of weeks ago but we still continue seeing each other and just ignore that conversation which no doubt will be repeated soon enough.
Oh psychoscrop I feel for you I know just what it’s like…we’ve touched on those topics but continue to drag it out. He’ll crush me I’m sure and I shouldn’t allow it, but you see I can cope with whatever comes up, he can’t, maybe I’m just more of a romantic!
That’s why I hang in there thinking he’ll be ok, yes I’m being selfish too, I’m not listening. But it’s been the most intense relationship (and compatible) of my life and I’m not a spring chicken!
Scorp Sun here. A few comments here are disturbing.
This issue of amputation is so complex. Many thoughts on it and some have been raised already. Self-preservation is true. However, lurking and hovering and lying in wait type of actions….I don’t know what that is other than stalking, mindgames, interfering with another’s life to a scary degree. That’s not Scorp. I don’t know what that is but it’s likely to be explained more by the psych DSM-IV manual than an astrological sign.
I’m a scorp and never ever would do that or have that intention. If someone betrays, hurts or is toxic, bad enough that I need to amputate, that’s just taking a healthy action to get crap out of my life.
It’s upsetting to read that friendships of decades – 18 years, 35 years, etc. – are amputated. Apart from abuse being involved, what the hell?? Do you just get tired of understanding? If you’ve managed a friendship that long, obviously it had a great deal of good and health in it. Amputating after that long sounds …. upsetting. Odd.
See if I can quote Joni Mitchell, my favorite Scorpio, off the top of my head. Ok, then, paraphrase: “Anyone can tell you just how hard it is to make and keep a friend; maybe they’ll short sell you, or maybe it’s you, Judas in the end, when you just can no longer pretend, that you’re getting what you need, or that you’re giving out anything for them to grow and feed on.”
I was friends with a male Scorpio for a few months, after about two years of knowing him. We got along fairly well, had a few spats here and there (I’m a Sagittarius, I don’t know if our different signs had anything to do with that), but we had this huge blowup – all a misunderstanding – and that’s what I think made him rethink our friendship.
I always let him set the boundaries, and I like to think I did most of the work – he never texted/IM’d/called me first, and that frustrated me (it’s one of the reasons we argued). But he was a very good listener and we had really nice conversations…and I was in love with him, but that’s another story.
In short, we had a massive fight (I inadvertently caused it) but we apologized like before and he said he really ‘valued’ me as a friend, and he was glad we’d worked things out.
One day (a few weeks later), we were texting for almost all the day – everything was fine. I went onto my Facebook at approximately midnight, and – he had unfriended me. His (now ex-) girlfriend had also removed me from her friends (we weren’t quite friends, but I’d placated her and saved his skin during an argument they were having, so I suppose she deemed me worthy of being a Facebook friend). I texted him right after I found out and asked why he’d done it, and he said immediately that he hadn’t been on Facebook since he left, he didn’t know what I was talking about. I said, “So we’re still cool?” and he said, “Of course.”
But he never refriended me, and I texted him a few times and he didn’t respond to those. About two months went by with not much contact – he just gave me noncommittal answers, the barest of details, and finally I said, “Screw it, I miss him, I’ll see what he’s up to.”
Lo and behold, he did respond, but the moment I asked how his senior year was going, he didn’t reply back. Again, about two weeks later, I tried to contact him again, and finally sucked up my pride to refriend him. He didn’t accept it, but based on his Wall, friends list, etc., he went on every day.
We had several mutual friends, all but two of whom he removed, and I’m wondering if we’ll ever get back to where we were before all this stuff started.
Any suggestions, or is this a lost cause? I know we’ll see each other someday, somewhere, and I’m wondering what’s going to happen…
Welcome, Lynn. If you put your chart on the boards here:
http://boards.elsaelsa.com/
along with your question, people are sure to weigh in.
Hello I’m sorry to just butt in like that without saying hello or anything.
Lest we forget that Scorpio and the 8th house is all about manipulating behind the scenes, and ultimately, control of the situation.
8th house is also about sex, death, and other people’s money.
So, if a Scorpio decides to cut you or themselves off, consider the motive. There is always a motive.
Dumped and amputated by Scorpio. No warning. No discussion. No mutual agreement. Uncompromising. Lethal. Cut their nose off despite their face. In the end it was necessary and appropriate…but why so cruel?
Hi Lynn!
As a Scorpio, I just wanted to respond to this
<>
I have had several Sag best friends through the years. This has always been a problem with them. They start off more vested in the friendship then I am, and are constantly calling, texting, etc. so I never feel the need to. Then they find a new best friend, and leave me in the lurch. This has happened to me at least 3 times so far. Now I know when I make a new Sag friend that I shouldn’t expect close friendship with them for more than a few years.
Hi Lynn!
As a Scorpio, I just wanted to respond to this
I have had several Sag best friends through the years. This has always been a problem with them. They start off more vested in the friendship then I am, and are constantly calling, texting, etc. so I never feel the need to. Then they find a new best friend, and leave me in the lurch. This has happened to me at least 3 times so far. Now I know when I make a new Sag friend that I shouldn’t expect close friendship with them for more than a few years.
Sorry, not trying to spam, my quotes aren’t showing up.
Here is the part I was trying to respond to:
I always let him set the boundaries, and I like to think I did most of the work – he never texted/IM’d/called me first, and that frustrated me (it’s one of the reasons we argued).
Australia – that’s exactly it!
I wouldn’t have dragged this on so long if he’d only given me a warning, you know?
And KathyF….you made a very interesting point. I can say, though, that I’ve not found another best friend, nor did I ever consider him my ‘best’ friend. I loved talking to him – still do. I am a bit surprised at your ‘They start off more vested in the friendship then I am, and are constantly calling, texting, etc. so I never feel the need to’ statement. It’s eye-opening…I just wanted to make him like me, I suppose.
Australia
Know the feeling, lots of passive aggressiveness as well – didn’t want to be cruel I think but easier way for him was be “nice” but avoid/cut communication. Devastated, it is very cruel. I would never treat someone like that who had been so close and hadn’t mistreated me.
I am so pleased that I came across this website. It has help me so much to understand and move on.
I have been losing my mind, driven there by a Scorpio freezing me out, then who dumped and amputated.
I am a typical Virgo practical and analytical I understand that relationships end however what I could not understand how a close loving relationship could just end so abruptly without any warning or explanation.
I still don’t know if it was the result of self preservation or whether he had just lost interest, I do know however that I no longer need an explanation from him. Instead I just accept that it’s over and would not even entertain a friendship should he come back my way. I will never date another Scorpio
Hello, everyone! Due in part to this site, I’ve been accepting that it was my own fault that my Scorpio cut me out.
The other reason is that my best friend, who’s a Cancer, is dating an Aries. She gave me a lot of insight into her mutual water-sign (Scorpio), and I in turn tried to help her understand Aries, because he and I are a lot alike (like, scarily so).
They had their first major fight – he unintentionally lied to her, or she thought he lied to her, and now he’s scrambling to fix it. She cut him out and told me precisely why: she can’t stand liars.
Anyway, it brought a lot of the old pain back, and I now realize that in my quest to impress and placate Scorpio, he found out that I lied to him, and that was that. I was out.
I wish I hadn’t lost him. I spent three years loving him, wanting him, and I screwed everything up. Seeing my best friend completely amputate her boyfriend, seeing how coldly and completely she got rid of him because he inadvertently (and accidentally, he says) hurt her…that’s precisely what happened with my Scorpio.
Now if I see him again, and I know I will someday, I don’t know how to react. Should I ignore him, or say hello, or…just walk away?
Lynn…
You let him go his own way, he may just come back when he’s ready if not don’t sweat it just carry on with your life. He’s in pain but he’s more or less living his life.
Anyway to this topic… I agree with the whole topic to be honest. Natal Sun, Venus, Mercury and Pluto in Scorpio. Plus a progressed Scorpio rising means I understand the need to amputate. Which comes after a long and hard time of deliberation, should I or shouldn’t I?!
I give too many chances I realise, I allow people to do whatever then when I say something in response to their nonsense or behaviour its always ‘don’t speak to me like that’ or ‘you’re jealous’ or ‘you’re behaving like that cause of the things that have happened in you’re life’. Those are some of the few things I’ve heard that for myself when it gets to that point is really my need to amputate and say goodbye without warning. As others have put it ‘ripping the bandage off’ which pains but will always rise to a higher understanding about myself. It allows me create new boundaries. I’ve thought about those statements for a while and realised that those are their judgements and not about my actual character. I can be blunt and its without the bullshit, ‘if you want a shoulder to cry on don’t come to a Scorpio they’ll tell you the truth, look for another sign’. I couldn’t agree more with that statement.
It seems that no matter how many times I or many Scorpios say to a person what is irritating them or hurting them many don’t listen then end up with the silent treatment come back and do it all again. I wonder if they learnt the lesson at all?! Or if they just enjoy provoking?! Let’s be real that energy, those listening ears, the encouraging words and that loyalty to a fault shall soon disappear as the waters run dry or the constant dropping in the ocean has reached that point where the waters are still, frozen, no longer flowing or just crashing violently against all the drops of debris.
I’ve lost a lot of friends including a boyfriend because I got to the point of ‘really? Are you really telling me this superficiality? Isn’t there better things to speak about?!’. As well as no longer having the time to comment on the dramas of others, I can’t keep enabling people to not learn their lessons, take care of themselves or grow as people as they suck me dry and thrive because they can’t be bothered to look at and process themselves but expect me to do it and tell them. I have things to do!
Hey, how did you get back with your scorpio friend? And how long did the freeze last?
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as scorpio moon, i know when i am ‘done’ with someone, i’m ‘done’. usually after being stretched beyond limits. struggling with a friend right now who is juggling multiple life issues and cannot see anything beyond her own pain. our friendship has disintegrating into her unloading and my commenting. not sure she even sees me as anything more than a free therapist. when i try to distance myself in a gentle way, she reaches out saying that she never lets her friends ‘go’. *eeek* nice for her, but it’s getting more and more difficult for me to continue. at this point, i could easily just cut ties and walk away without a second glance, leaving her wondering, i’m sure, what happened to her nice friend. in other words, in this rambling post, i think my scorpio moon nature allows me to absorb a lot more than usual,emotionally, until like an overfilled balloon i pop. then it’s too late.