Would You Marry Someone With Saturn In The 7th House?

love greetings“Hey Elsa, All else being equal, how would you feel about marrying someone with Saturn in the Seventh?”

Boy, that’s a good question. For people new to astrology, traditional interpretation of Saturn in the 7th house (or any other Venus Saturn exchange) is burden in relationship. There are other manifestations of course. People marry older partners, controlling partners, the marriage is a business deal and I could go on and on. Fact is whatever the case, some restriction is given.

Now before you go swearing off anyone with a Venus Saturn exchange in their chart (or stabbing yourself if it’s you with Saturn in the 7th) just consider the alternative. How would you like a partner with no restrictions, hmm? How about he or she runs amok all over the land? Sound any better? I didn’t think so.

I faced this head on when I decided to hook up my husband. There was tremendous impediment that would have to be overcome if we were to be together. There would be long delay of gratification but just in general, he has a very hard life in many ways, for may reasons.

I have a very hard life as well but his is even worse and I talked openly about this with friends. I understood that it I opted to hook up with him I would inherit his problems and hardships. I would assume all his burdens and there were a long list of them. Further, one look at his chart and it’s pretty clear it will always be this way so what to do?

What I did was think about it long and hard and I felt about it very deeply until I came to a decision and made a very serious commitment… to myself and to him. So to answer the question, personally I would (and have already) married someone with a Venus Saturn signature in their chart though I’d caution anyone to follow suit unless they had certain qualities.

If you do not have a level of maturity for example, you’re going to be in big trouble with your Saturnian partner. If you want to live in la la land, here again the person with Saturn associated with Venus is going to mess you up big time.

On the other hand if you want real (Saturn) love (Venus), the conscious Venus Saturn person has it to give. Thing is, I don’t think many want real love. They want a movie or an adventure or a fling. Maybe they want some danger or to piss off their mommy by dating or marrying you. Consequently Venus Saturn and their “real love” goes begging.

So that’s me, what about you?

Would you marry someone who brought a burden to the relationship?

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Would You Marry Someone With Saturn In The 7th House? — 55 Comments

  1. Thank you for posting this question. I have a venus/saturn exchange, and I like to hope that there are people out there who can deal with it and not just get big eyes and run.

    Not everyone’s going to come off like a fat-free snack cracker. Some of us are hearty, filling potatoes, right from the first bite. It’s an acquired taste, but man is it sweet and ripe with appreciation.

  2. I have Saturn in the 7th in a progreseed composite with someone I am interested in. I attract these people and relationships for a reason I believe. I am not light and fluffy so why would I be interested in a light and fluffy relationship? It goes hand in hand I’d say. Karmic lessons and all that.

  3. I have venus conjunct saturn, and I believe I do have very real love to share.

    For me, although I have venus/saturn trine uranus and it does have to be fun, unsual…etc, but this is some serious fun. I was told by my ex, who I am on very good terms with after a faithful 15 year relationship and three kids together, that he feels no one will ever love him as well, and as much as I have. And he is not the first to feel that way. I have some serious love, damn it.

    it is not always easy being a big f**king deal, but I have integrity, damn it.

  4. I think what is meant by that is any possible venus-saturn energy manifestation, like having a capricorn venus, venus in the 10th, etc., as well as the more obvious like actual venus-saturn contact or saturn in venus’ house.

  5. Lol, satori…yeah, you go!

    Elsa, I’m wondering if you think Venus/Saturn in the composite chart can work in the same ways, or would it indicate more insurmountable problems? I actually have a Venus/Saturn exchange in my current composite and am wondering whether it’s about the obvious logistical obstacles or more like fundamental incompatibilities. I’ve wondered in general about the individual challenging aspects that one is supposed to be able to work with somehow, and whether they can equally be ‘worked with’ positively in a composite.

  6. Well I have Saturn in the 7th (taurus) and I have been in *real* relationships, and am in one now. Yes, there are always issues and hardships and burdens. Or shared responsibilities (not a bad thing). There have been a couple of times where I’ve had to financially support my partner … I guess I was the “Saturn” (stable one) in those relationships… which got trying and they didn’t last beyond 3 years.

    I don’t feel like I am particularly disadvantaged for having Saturn in the 7th… No more than anybody else..

  7. Venus Quincunx Saturn; Pisces Saturn in the 7th (does being retrograde help AT ALL??)– boy, am i feeling lousy, esp. after googling that.

    The only hope I have is that maybe there is something in the chart of my BF that can counteract that. Couldn’t that mitigate the damage a little? I sure hope so.

    Huge, heavy sigh.

  8. “I’ve wondered in general about the individual challenging aspects that one is supposed to be able to work with somehow, and whether they can equally be ‘worked with’ positively in a composite.”

    I think that *everything* can be worked with positively. It’s just people don’t like to work! :)

  9. ha ha. i _have_ a saturn venus exchange, and it’s kind of nice to spend time with someone else that does. so much of the annoying petty crap that usually shows up just isn’t there. it’s not important, or it is… and if it is, it gets dealt with… really, quite a relief.

  10. Venus square Saturn and conjunct Neptune with a husband that would prefer la-la land. 7th house Capricorn and bless his heart, I think it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

  11. I only like relationships if they’re challenging…ha just kidding…?

    Saturn in the 8th trine Venus: almost everyone I’ve ever dated has suffered huge loss, usually the death of someone they were very close to.
    But I do too…I can be a burden. But for the people I’ve been with who are also a burden well they like me fine. Ha!

  12. I do appreciate what I have, and actually have kept many exes in my life in a positive way, so in general I am not complaining.

    But the current one is the one I want to keep forever! So I don’t want him to become “an ex” who is “in my life in a positive way”.

    No lie– can you believe in bed last night all naked and entwined I told him about Elsa’s post on “Redefining Christmas”? (You have quite an exexpected reach, don’t you Elsa? lol) I was kind of giddy and feeling good, and I said it felt like Christmas. And that idea reminded me of one of Elsa’s very best posts ever so I told him about it. I was telling him how things were so different for me with him, that after my last divorce I really kind of liked the attention and dating possibilities, but that now it holds no appeal at all. I barely register potential admirers who express interest, I don’t see the value in that when I have something that is so much better; I know in my core that the brass ring is finally within reach.

    At the moment we have an hour and a half drive between us and two jobs we love that would be very difficult to change. We still see each other every weekend and he comes down once during the week. It’s practically a miracle that it works as well as it does. But at some point we’ll have to decide what to do, and I can’t imagine what it will be. I figure it will satisfy as long as it should, and when the time is right for change, we will feel it can’t continue as is. With that pushing us, a solution might be more clear, or so I hope.

    I have “redefined Christmas” and it has helped me immeasurably. I cannot thank Elsa enough for that advice, which has really helped me to treasure my sparkly, funny, tall & brainy Gem!

    This also brings me to another point I will use to wrap this up: None of us should underestimate the power we have to help and influence others. Elsa, you are making the world a better place. You probably don’t even know it sometimes. We can all do that, in ways that best use our talents, and we should.

    I’ve said enough for tonight, so I wish you all sweet dreams! :)

  13. I have Saturn in the 7th in Pisces, and this very much resonates. I’ve had burdened and restricted relationships all my life, but know you can live them happy if you learn how.

    I grew up being told to separate myself from the rest of the world specifically (family’s religious beliefs) and was not supposed to form relationships outside that community. I have 3 brothers, I once considered myself close to, that have had next to nothing to do with me for over 20 years now, by their decisions. It hurt.

    When I was young, I lived my Saturn in Pisces out by having relationships with people who were controlling, outright crazy and/or had addictions. I got past that when I grew up and took responsibility in my own role in choosing partners – growing up. Add in a little therapy, mix and bake.

    When I married, I went from being a single woman to a married mother of three (and inheriting a venomous ex) within the course of a month’s time. The oldest was very out of control and needed to be reined in. The Saturn/Venus helped me lovingly enforce badly-needed restrictions with the kids. Over the years, the kids have come and gone from my life repeatedly, and I learned to love whether they were present or not, whether they were kind or cruel. I just distance when they are not kind and take responsibility only for my own role in the relationships. I don’t try to control them anymore; only myself. Thank you, Neptune!

    My husband has Saturn in Pisces also, so we share some of the same energy, but his 7th has Jupiter. It appears to be conjunt my Venus, if I’m reading it right. And you know, I can promise he wouldn’t tell you he’s regretted hooking up with me. He tells me that is the ONE thing in life he IS sure of. There is an authenticity and substantive quality to our connection that is palpable. It’s an unmovable force.

    I would say the absolute turning point for me in relationships came the day I decided to take personal responsibility for my relationships. I think 7th house Saturn has to move past the illusion of controlling others (in the name of love) in their relationships and focus their efforts on controlling themselves. Your boundaries make or break you here.

    Thanks for the thought-provoking post. :)

  14. I have Venus square Saturn, and now that I’ve started absorbing the lessons of astrology, I feel a little less lost in matters of love, and my own love nature. I keenly feel relationship as burden, sometimes blessed burden.. but burden non-the-less. It’s almost embarassing to admit in a culture that encourages la la love… Elsa, once you asked what movie reflected our definition of love relationship, and the first film I thought of was Jane Eyre. Need I say more?

  15. Satori and June, you both made me seriously lol. :D

    I’ve been with my hubby for eight years, uhm… today! *laughing because I just realized today’s my anniversary*
    It’s actually wonderful being with someone who understands me as well as he does and it helps that we approach relationships the same way, that you have to work at them, responsibly, to have a good one. Since we’re both willing to put in the effort, we reap the reward in spades. I’ve never, ever had nor expected such a supportive, committed, loving man and relationship — I just didn’t think it was possible. I just hope I can hold on to it while Pluto goes over my descendant!

    I’ve got an empty, Capricorn-ruled 7th and Saturn semisquare (whatever that is) Venus; my man has Saturn sextile Venus. AND Saturn is semisquared Venus in the composite. Whew!

  16. My ex had saturn in libra and I know he felt burdened by me and me by him. He also wouldn’t work. I have mars square saturn with aries ruling my 7th and find that partners limit my actions.
    My current honey has his own business. He has saturn in aquarius in the 10th. He never wanted to settle. Our composite has a venus, moon and saturn trine.. and the more we work together the more real it’s becoming. But to make it work I’ve had to be conscious of my saturn in cancer nature and do the work of self-nurturing. Slowly i’m doing stuff for him and his business and he’s agreed I should keep working in mine. We’ve talked about how working different shifts during the week would be fine but how we’d like to keep the weekends for us. I think the biggest thing is learning how you best relate to people and keep that in mind. The fairy-tale relationship trips us up.. whether you have a venus saturn signature or a venus neptune or a venus uranus or a venus pluto.

  17. I have Venus-Saturn conjunct and my husband has Saturn in the 7th. Celebrating our 10th anniversary today and boy, have we been through some tough times… and yet it just persists. There’s something rather beautiful in that, though it’s far from the romantic love ideal.

  18. Goddess said: “I think 7th house Saturn has to move past the illusion of controlling others (in the name of love) in their relationships and focus their efforts on controlling themselves. Your boundaries make or break you here.”

    Wow! That sure stuck a chord with me. I have Saturn (Virgo) in the 7th conjunct south node and exactly square a Sag Mars in the 10th house. I’ve always attracted older, apparently stable types who I thought needed to be cared for rather than relating to. My career aspirations always got in the way. Or, my relationship always got in the way of my career aspirations. Liz said “I have mars square saturn with aries ruling my 7th and find that partners limit my actions.” Exactly!

    I feel bogged down then disenchanted, strained under the relationship restrictions that all too often I had created myself and then I’d bolt from the relationship. Tenth house activity always wins out.

    So the fact is, I still haven’t figured out how to work with my 7th house Saturn; married young, divorced young, a slew of intense but short love affairs and then a 9-year relationship that really should have been over after the first 3. I finally got myself out of that one eight years ago and I haven’t been in a relationship since.

  19. I have Venus square Saturn and I AM the burden. I am very trapped into taking care of my mother (only child, rest of the family is a bunch of asses/dinks, and she’s lonely/smothery), and that is not going away short of death. All of the guys I dated long enough for it to be an issue were not happy with this. I’m not either, but I can’t get away. I don’t know why anyone would take me on when to some degree I literally cannot put them first even if I want to.

    But for choosing another burden? My thinking is, I already have the burden. My arms are full Atlas-style. How the hell can I take on someone else’s burden too?! My last ex was also quite a burden and I was terrified of how bad it was going to get someday when his health got really bad. My mom (oddly enough no Venus-Saturn, but Moon-Saturn) has spent 98% of her entire adult life being a caregiver and it looks like mine will go the same way, but she loves it and I hate it.

    On the other hand, clearly you don’t get a choice in who you fall in love with. (Elsa um…not so much, eh?) You can run away and if it’s meant to be it’ll come kick you upside the head. I only get involved with kick-in-the-head-karmic-tie folks anyway, which kinda figures. I can’t be arsed to even look at most people in that way unless they are an emotional wallop. My celebrity crush, well, I’d be terrified of meeting him because there’s so many karmic ties there. Good thing he’s too famous for the likes of me, because I am both horrified and fascinated at the same time and I’m not sure I could walk away given the opportunity.

  20. Lol June – Venus/Saturn x 4 here and I completely agree.

    ScorpioX3 – “My career aspirations always got in the way. Or, my relationship always got in the way of my career aspirations.” That’s interesting, for some reason the second half resonates with me more than the first half. When a relationship becomes a burden I turn to my career, and it always wins out. However, I have never considered my career to be a burden, more like a trusted friend. I would not last long in any relationship that challenged this trusted companion.

  21. Goddess, that hurts my heart about your brothers.

    I remembered after reading all your comments that my partner has Sun/Saturn conjunct in his 7th.
    How funny I forgot.

  22. Good question, and I don’t have an answer. I have Venus/Uranus/Pluto conjunct (Venus is in Virgo), and my hubs has Venus in Sag, square Pluto. I don’t know if I’d run the other way, but it’s obvious that I need a lot of freedom while being in a relationship at the same time (Jupiter exactly conjunct DSC). I honestly don’t know how I’d react, since I never met anyone who was a “burden” or went through a lot of hardship.

  23. well… i guess the other aspect of the saturn/venus thing is that we both realize that the other person has a life independent of us and don’t make a big deal about it- necessities happen and aren’t a reason to get upset.
    you can be important to someone without being their everything. and, honestly, i think that’s a lot healthier.

  24. as I was always looking at my chart relating that to my love life i always see mistrey

    I have Venus and Saturn in 7 house :/
    Venus in scorpio and saturn in Sagittarius.

    Venus has opposion with ASC

    am I be able to find serious love and not get hurt or will I even get marry cuz saturn create a delay :(

    2/jan/87
    2:20
    aden/yemen

  25. I have Saturn in the 7th house, along with Venus (no conjunction though), Sun, Mercury, Jupiter, North Node and Vertex, whew! I am turning 30 and I have not had a long term relationship but this is because I chose not to.

    My mother was married at 19 and divorced at 26 (she has Saturn in her 1st house) and she was left without a dime and no education because she had children (me and my brother who is also developmentally disabled) to take care of. I have learned from this example. Unfortunately, I dropped out of college and got crappy jobs and I tried dating but I did not like the guys that would seek me out. I knew how quickly and often I fall in love, even with the baddies (Gemini Mars in the 5th, Moon square Venus) and I realized that because I did not have the education and self-esteem I needed I would not be equal to the type of man I wanted (stable, intelligent and educated – Saturn, Mercury & Jupiter in 7th). So I had to change that and it took a few years. I did get pretty lonely, mainly because of the huge 7th house stellium (hello!) but being able to take care of myself and feel good about myself is better than being in a relationship and depending on a man for these things, much like my mother did (as well as aunts and friends who are in similar situations).

    So here I am, I turn 30 this year, I graduate with a BS in May and starting grad school in August and I am single but now I am (finally) looking!

    What this all means is that I think that Saturn in the 7th can also be a self-imposed delay in marriage – perhaps because my Sun is also there, but its not a conjunction. I think that I am a great catch – I went through my Saturn Return and I realize that I have duties and responsibilities in relationships.

  26. I don’t know about the term “real” love. I think in Saturn’s case, it means “real” love here on the Earthly plane. Which comes with a whole slew of responsibilities and material expectations. There is that side of Saturn that is hard core materialistic. I don’t know if I can necessarily instantaneously call that “real” love. I married into Saturn contacts and I’m still not sure that it’s the kind of “real” love I was looking for.

    I was looking for something deep and real. The kind where you expose yourself to another person on a very real level and they love you regardless of these hurts and scars. But, I’ve found with this particular Saturnian marriage (although heavily venusian as well) that it’s not the case. The basic energy of our relationship is very Earth Bound.

    Maybe I was looking for “dream land” love. Who knows, I’m just saying, that’s a pretty quick judgment equating Saturn to “real love”.

    Also note that my family all has Saturn/Venus connections, we are an extremely distant family, not in the physical sense. It’s concern for careers, health, etc. I never got the kind of “real” supportive family I desired, but that’s ok too.

  27. I absolutely would. No question. Now i just need to find him. For a short time, thought i did find him, but was wrong.

    I have venus square saturn and am also burdened in a daily way. But there are rewards, there are. Real strong love.

  28. Venus Conjunct Saturn in the 12th. There’s been a certain restricted nature to some of my relationships (one was secretive, one was really long distance). I also tend to attract headcases, but I don’t know if that’s my just Cancer sun drawing in people who need counseling/nurturing. I prefer to look at the Venus/Saturn aspect as indicating a serious, realistic approach to love. And as has been said, I think natives w/ these aspects are willing to put in work for relationships. To offset all this Saturnine gloom, my Venus is in Leo, trine Neptune. I like to think that there’s a dramatic flair and dreaminess that’s actually solid and can be backed up with action and loyalty.

  29. I agree with Jennifer on her views on ‘real’ love and saturn love. I have saturn in my 5th house and capricorn on my descendant and I’ve never been in a serious relationship yet but wonder if this neptunian side of me is the problem… I’m afraid of being disappointed in love (moon-mars-venus square neptune).. I wonder what to expect and I KNOW expectations only provide a structure to hang your disappointments on.. is neptunian love disappointing? or is saturnian love?

  30. thanks Elsa for this post. clears some things for me. So many people here with Saturn/Venus issues. Sometimes I resent that serious saturnian side in me. it’s so evident in love relationships. makes me want all or nothing. while many other people just want to have fun. I wish I could be more la-la… :)
    I have Venus opposition Saturn. Venus rules my 7th.

  31. I have a Venus Saturn aspect in my chart, and on thinking about it further realised that I have a Venus – ruled chart (Libra rising) with a Cap Sun (Saturn). Does that make the Venus-saturn effect (and impression on others) much stronger then?

  32. Great question opal! I would like the answer to it as well! I have a Saturn-ruled chart (Capricorn rising), Libra sun, as well as Venus AND Saturn in the 7th. I would be very curious to hear others’ opnion on how this might manifest for me. It is very true that I have difficult relationships. There always seems to be some aspect to them which causes a consistent stressor for me and the other person.

    My fiance’s Chiron is in the 7th. maybe this means that he will ‘heal’ a lot of the difficulties in my past? I certainly feel he’s made me feel whole again in so many other ways.

  33. Alas, I’m one of those unfortunate folks with Saturn in my 7th house ( Rx in Aquarius ). I have had an inordinately difficult life, but have not drawn any partners into difficulty; or at least any due their association with me. If anything, they have prospered richly while I was with them.

    I have two actual relationships to my credit, one LTR (5 yrs); and a marriage that ended in divorce, nineteen years to the day after we married. One thing that may make me look like an albatross to others is the fact that both of my exes are deceased; having died after we split up. The LTR a suicide, and the ex-husband, a brain hemorrhage.

    The only people close to me that have experienced hardship due to me, I would have to say are my kids. Losing the income we had through divorce and death has left us in quite a lurch for the past few years. I’ve been doing this ‘flat broke’ thing way before it was hip ( recession, anyone ?), and I’ve been wallowing in guilt practically the whole time. This past holiday season was the first time in three years that I was able to buy any gifts whatsoever !

    Anyway, I’m afraid I do feel marked somehow; and that I had my chance at happiness and chose badly partner-wise, but no regrets whatsoever with regards to my kids. I feel that I offer stability and responsibility, not chaos and deception; in a relationship. I’ve actually begun to settle into the very real possibility that a balanced, healthy relationship will not happen for me in this lifetime; and I’d rather be alone than settle. My bullshit meter is maxed-out, so I don’t do anything that even hints at ‘crazy’ anymore. Hell, I don’t even date ! I just work and deal with my stuff and stay out of the way of those who at least have a chance at a relationship working for them. At this point, I just want peace.

  34. venus square saturn. neptune in 7th. So somedays I have real love and somedays I’m in la la land.

    ;)

    But to answer Elsa’s question. I think that our society has sold us a view of love and relationships that conflicts with reality and now we’re dealing with it in the saturn libra transit. More people are choosing the “real” deal these days I suspect. It takes work but for someone like me with my lovable t-squares all relationships are work.

    Somedays I’m the burden, somedays he is. It trades off. Most of the time I can handle but sometimes I need downtime to disappear. He has a saturn/venus exchange too so that makes the bond stronger in a sense but also the whole deal more work/growth for both of us.

  35. Hi,

    I have Saturn in my seventh house (Aries) AND Venus in the 10th (Cancer).

    I have shouldered all the responsibility of our marriage as of date; material, emotional, and otherwise.

    Why is that so?

    SG

  36. Thank you for this really interesting open question and for all the answers.
    I have saturn in 7th Aquarius. His saturn is in 7th Aries.
    My sun in 10 (Aries) falls in his 7th house forming a conjunction to his saturn.
    My saturn 7 falls in his 4th house.
    What kind of partnership could result from this coniguration ? Do I have to run away or jump in ?

  37. i recently came to know i m saturn in 7th house , is it something permanent in our life? is there any remedy for this ? i recently got divorced and am going through a tough time now, am from India,am virgo? i would like to know will i be success remarrying somebody ? what should i be careful about before getting into another relation?

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