Indifference to the bad things in the world out of apathy, fear, or arrogance is actually darker than than those who face it.

People think that they can run away from the ‘dark’ side of life and it’ll be fine. You see? Sometimes the more you ignore it the more it’ll grow.

Word.

I’d rather wade through the mire knowingly than get sucked into it because I’m not looking. Knowledge of just how bad things can be, even if only in theory, helps your perspective on the happiness continuum.

What happens to people like that (avoiders) when they get slammed?

Linda Goodman spoke a good deal about shadows, she was a scorpio moon.

That’s one of the reasons why this blog is so popular!

hiding this stuff  and concealing it is pretty shadowy too and the consequences of doing so have higher costs than not in the long run. These costs being, they could make a difference and they don’t, thereby allowing the situation to remain or worsen, becoming enablers and setting a sad standard or maybe their concealing becomes their own physical illness or mental dis-ease. In case of the later, if they are parents, or any kind of care taker, authority figure/official, it would cause great distress to those in their charge etc.

A friend and I are emailing about a specific avoider and he wrote you should therefore be happy that you can acknowledge the problem consciously – on the top level of the directory… such a great expression! It made me wonder — what defines whether people access the top level of the directory? (BTW if I was at the very very top of mine, I’d be walking through the mire instead of wading in it, like SaDiablo says. But regardless I know the mire exists.)

Sagittarius is on the cusp of my 8th, no wonder I love your story-telling.

In that regard, people are generally ruled by basic instincts, namely fear (fight or flight). Safety (maintaining being alive) is number one on the biological needs list. That insulation keeps them safe. And if they aren’t insulated they fight (attacking you) or flight (run away with nothing to say).
Does that run along the same lines? I hate going off on tangents.

my son suffers from anxiety that can really overwhelm him at times. As others here have said, rather than trying to keep out what he perceives as threatening, we work on just allowing it in, allowing everything in and realizing that he is still ok. Still safe and still loved.

It is the keeping it out that inspires panic, because this is not possible to do.

That said, I don’t go out of my way to read sensational upsetting stuff. I’m not cut out for it.Completely not a plutonian. That’s ok. I don’t avoid it either, and I absolutely don’t put it far away from me in some “other people’s lives” category. I grew up with some pretty dark shit, and as things come up, for me and loved ones I go right to the source and look at it. There is no other way to integrate.. and being integrated is what I’m ALLLLLLL about.

As a Sadge who did grad work in 20th century Eastern European history, I have to say that I tend toward the shadow. Being in grad school was a fantastic experience because I was in the company of others who also gravitated toward the darker stuff. It was like coming home in some ways, finding out I’m not alone in the universe. They are still my closest friends in the world.

My tolerance for the Martha Stewarts of the world depends on my proximity to them, and their proximity to their own personal dark. There are times I’m grateful I can turn on the tv for a few minutes and rest myself in the mindlessness of Christmas cookie decorations, or, like last week, have dinner with a hs friend who I reconnected with on FB. She’s an elementary school teacher with a 4 kids of her own. It was amazing to spend time with someone whose everyday life (and vocab) is so different from my own! And it was fine, I was happy to paddle around on the surface for a few hours.

But I tend to feel dangerous when I’m with people who can’t deal with the dark, especially if it’s present in their own life. (That is, I couldn’t have hung out with Martha Stewart and talked cookies when she was facing indictment.) I have another friend whose marriage is a farce but she is in denial and she wants me to nod and agree when she tosses out trivialities and avoids the reality of what is happening. I can do that for about 5 minutes, then I excuse myself.

I find I can either be in the shadow or not be in it. When someone who isn’t really comfortable with it is flirting with it, I tend to get a little freaked out. I cannot be depended on to play Martha Stewart with them.

And really, I’ve found that it is just a thankless task to go heading into the shadow with people who aren’t comfortable there. When they’ve righted themselves, they’ll resent you for it, maybe just because you saw them there, or maybe they’ll even think you lead them there. So I’ve learned to just excuse myself.

People wouldn’t know it from my demeanor but I am a fan of stories from the famous De Sade and movies such as Sweet Movie (if you haven’t seen it I think it would be right up your alley Elsa!) but all in all, like some of you have already said the shadow is a part that makes us whole. If we fail to recognize it we get stuck in the same loop over and over… when I do a tarot spread and see the Devil card, I am not intimated but am more aware of the shadowy parts of my existence and try to have them play out in a healthy way. Even if it means passively acting like a bitch once in a while to satisfy my shadow

(once/one)

i think… ignorance brings comfort. which is why some people prefer staying there.
but it’s only a short term solution.