It seems I write less personal stuff on this blog all the time.  I rarely write about the soldier anymore except on the boards, things have just morphed in this direction. I think when I do write personal stuff people like it.  They pick stuff up, it makes astrology real and so forth so I am going to try to maintain this.

One thing I have tracked on this blog for 5 years now is Saturn’s transit through the houses of my chart.  Saturn is currently in my 9th house (publishing) and I notice my blog has structure these days.

It started with the Year Ago posts, and then the My Eye On The Sky pieces started to be more reliable. It took a year but they have also become uniform over time. This was not intentional. I write what I want so the process was organic and makes me think I am headed somewhere which I surely am.

The transit calendar came next. I wanted to do it and it presented a challenge because it required me to think in new ways and now I started a newsletter.

The newsletter may very well develop.  It was meant as a payback or an offering for people who pay me. It’s an “I appreciate your business and support and want to give something back,” thing but today when I was thinking about how to put together something for next week, I realized I again need to innovate. It’s like wanting to write a good book.

I have never wanted to write a mediocre book, a book that is good enough and that’s it. I want to write something that has some juice. I want to write something no one else would or could write and what a pain that is.

It’s a pain because you have in order to do this you have to face fears of rejection. If you write what anyone would write you’ve got no problem but if you write, write, no telling what will happen.

As a pure example of this, I wrote my friend who died, sisters some days ago and what I wrote was unusual. I hope they can parse it. I hope they don’t think I am weird, see?

I am weird, actually but I’m well intentioned.  Maybe you see what I mean.  It’s a risk. I deal the card and then wait for acceptance or rejection.

Right now I am publishing (9th) my fears (Saturn) and I have to do this. With Mars and Mercury in the 9th, I am to be a daring writer and if not I fail.

I don’t like to fail so I rise to this challenge but not without misgivings. I stir my own concerns but that’s too bad isn’t it?  Saturn in transiting my 9th and this is my job.

My response to this is, arrrgh.