I do! ::raises hand::
And I keep getting further into debt with student loans, too…
I’ve thought about quitting to just work and pay it off but if I didn’t finish my education I don’t think I’d forgive myself.

I sure felt like a loser sometimes.

If I could paraphrase what you said to me in consultation, Elsa:

Me: Well I’m going to be a liability to anyone!
You: Not if you’re with someone who has money values in tune with yours.

I have that now, with the person I’m dating. It’s very strange after all those years of austere-living boyfriends to have one that isn’t. I mean, he LIVES austerely but likes to spend $ on food, as do I.

Anyway…I benefitted greatly from your thoughts on this, both during the consultation and now. Because it can be very, very embarrassing to talk about money for some people.

Oh and a word in favour of the Capricorn men I dated before: they both taught me A LOT. They really did.
I really did respect that they had a system that worked for them, especially my recent ex, who now has a disability that prevents him from earning as much money as he used to.

If he didn’t have the values he has, he probably wouldn’t have survived. He learned the very, very, very , very hard way about people who steal and fuck with your money.

oops I misread. I’m glad you think people will talk about it. I think it’s super important.

I went to school with someone who blatantly admitted to scoping out the class rankings, in order to marry someone who could best pay off her student loans.

She sounded like such an ugly person.

Thanks, Elsa, for bringing this up.. it is an interesting issue.

I was in debt when I first met my husband. He was debt-free. I refused to get married until I was out of debt. It was MY thing, not his resistance.

I think the very crucial part is that I did it 100% for me, and not as a way to be more attractive to him. I also felt it was simply fair to not bring debt into the relationship.

He was a great example though. He didn’t do a single thing to help me (we even split things 50/50), but we made a game of being frugal. He even said I inspired him to save more b/c I got so into it. We had fun.

I think the underlying values are the most important part. We still have fun being frugal (and remain debt-free). Neither of us feels deprived:)

I think women should be financially responsible for their own sake, not to become attractive for a man or anyone else.

I know we’re talking about men marrying women who have money problems… but, speaking from the opposite viewpoint, I think it’s largely the same. I worked really hard and did without a LOT to get rid of all my debt — student loans, consumer debt, etc. — and build up a healthy savings and retirement account. Some of it was lucky breaks, most of it was just sweat equity to overcome foolishness.

I would be really hesitant to get involved with someone who was a financial wreck. In fact, I think it would be a dealbreaker. I just cannot face life with that kind of tension. Did it for 33 years, been there, got the T-shirt. Not going to volunteer for it.

Oh how I love money and personal finance subjects!!

(2nd house: Scorp Sun & Libra Venus. I should really be a financial advisor )

I always wonder why anyone would take on a person who is seriously in financial trouble. Not a fair thing to expect someone else to get you out of.

In a way, yes. I’ve got 2nd house Mercury (and Sun/Pluto) in Virgo, trining Moon, MC and Moon ruling my chart. It has always been very important for me to stay out of debt and be independent financially. Earning money in my chosen field hasn’t always been that easy, though. And that has lead me feel somewhat insecure in my current relationship, since my SO has (deservingly) been earning a lot more than me. Although I’d definitely manage financially, I couldn’t maintain the standard of life we have alone.

We did, however, talk this through some month ago (yes, when Saturn passed to Libra), and he pretty much let me know I didn’t have any reason to feel inadequate.

What a timely topic! I, too, feel I can’t function properly in a relationship unless I’m debt free. To that end, I hope to have my credit card paid off by March 2010. After that I plan to chisel chunks off my student loans. My current boyfriend has no debt but doesn’t make a lot of money either. Some months he doesn’t make enough to cover his basic living expenses. He’s going through his Saturn returns in Libra right now and lives in a different state than me. He’s planning to move here early next year – here’s to getting our financial shite straightened out!

Sorry. Meant to add that I know that the market is tough but there are folks out there working two part-time jobs plus running gigs on the weekends to make do.

My husband and I are working on a two year plan to get out of debt. I want to start doing the financial future thing and now we have a godson and I want to be able to help out there when/if needed. It is extremely SLOW. I often get discouraged, but when I pay something off for good it feels really great. The worst is this month because it’s my birthday and everything I think of doing costs money. Back to basics, just cake, ice cream and happiness for another year with friends.
BTW about getting into a relationship with concerns of debt. My husband and I split everything 50/50. It’s changing now because we want to have a house, newer car and insurances, etc. He wouldn’t have married me if he was concerned about debt as I had school loans and he did not because he didn’t go. I think it depends how bad the debt is and how you really feel about someone. I wouldn’t abandon my husband if he suddenly went bonkers with spending. You can always communicate or call on a third party (like a counslor). “Forever in blue jeans.”

I have Rx Jupiter in the 2nd house at 29 Virgo and I have never been in debt. My sister has Rx Saturn in the 2nd house at 11 Leo and has never been out of debt. She wraps men around her finger, bleeds them dry, then moves on to the next victim. Men look right through me to the nearest blonde. But at least they aren’t bleeding me dry. You can’t drain something if you don’t touch it.

sheez guys, you all sound so on top of things – ordered relationships and finances. I mean, obviously this is good!!! But what about the chaos of the now, and unexpected occurrences and compassion amoung friends e.g. sometimes I am styling and sometimes I am skint – Jupiter conjunct Uranus in the 2nd. I had a 6 month relationship which ended this past new moon. He came to visit. My plumbing was broken and I was at a very difficult time (financially)in the month. Rather than help me fix things, he left the broken pipes and me and went to complete his stay in a hotel. I can see the point of all the above writings, but guys, where is the heart? Where is the love?

distella, I relate insofar as my previous relationship was about different approaches to $$$$.

Where is the love?

We had it, in spades. But ~for me~ it came down to this person thinks it’s important to spend money on THIS and this person thinks it’s important to spend money on THIS…

Where is your Venus? Where is his Venus? How do they aspect? Check it out from an astro perspective…you might come up with something you’ve never thought of before

Yeah. I know this one. I’m not super cautious with money but I make sure my priorities are taken care of above all else.

There have been some serious situations in my own relationships that have given me heart burn and made my blood pressure skyrocket in regard to mutual weight carrying.

I don’t give a flying fuck WHAT you do with your money, so long as our mutual responsiblities are handled in full and on time and you don’t have to attempt to make me a crutch for your own monetary obligations.