I am continuing to adjust to the new paradigm and it’s pretty quirky. I did that interview I linked to today. Monday, I did a radio show. This seems new doesn’t it? Both women interacted with me as if I have some kind of authority and I’m thinking I better get with the program.
I can see this shift happening in other areas of my life. For example, I have been in court for the last two and a half years and have laid low the whole time. I have been flat-lined as in, “She is probably brain dead” with no plans to do anything but… but then the game changed and I am going to have to represent.
I feel okay about all this. I am certainly not being shoved onto a stage prematurely or unprepared but it is different and while I know the shoes fit, I am still sort of stupefied I am meant to walk around in them and something else is complicating the situation.
Mars is square Mercury in the sky right now which of course sets off my natal conjunction of these planets. You can tell by the various remarks I’ve made around here in the last few days. They are brave and pointed and while I am satisfied with them I am loathe to elaborate on some of these topics because I just don’t want to cause contention and it’s easy to see why. Who would want to blow their blog up the day before they go to court… or go on the radio or whatever?
I am hoping my mind calms some once the aspect between Mars and Mercury separates because right now all I want to do is swear. Yeah. I don’t want to talk nice. I want yell some mother%&*%*^$^& stuff at the top of my lungs and then look at these venues. ::rolls eyes:: It’s almost comical.
So anyway, I am finding my way and I do see the key. I have to broadcast integrity but I also have to be polite and I’ll tell you, I don’t like it. I have MARS in Libra, see?
Mars wants a war, Libra says “be nice” and Saturn says “or else” and that right there is where I stand. I may as well be wearing a soft muzzle and have a gavel hanging over my head and y’all know I can’t go back.
Here is my song to distract myself… Help me, Rhonda, help, help me Rhonda!
13 Responses to “Where I Stand”
moonpluto, thanks and I agree. I really do feel things are better for me right now then they have ever been in my entire life which is satisfying beyond anything I can express.
I do think it smart to take a pause and assimilate because it’s just so pervasive.
Part of it comes from marrying the right man after a 30 year detour but also I did see this coming. I knew I would come into vogue during inclement weather because I have definitely mapped hell so I know my way around when many people are lost.
I have also been chronicling Saturn’s transit of my chart for 9 years and I said I would be right where I am 9 years ago so there is literally no surprise outside of groking the time is passed and I am so close to my destination.
On another level, I am still processing much loss and as I wrote a couple weeks ago or whatever… I really feel I’ve got to come to (better) terms around my daughter so I am working on this very intently.
Basically, I am on “go-slow” but to be honest, if you knew how much I was doing and juggling, I am actually going lightning fast.
I really don’t think people realize I am one person. I do work from about 5 am to 9 pm virtually every day and some of you must realize that it is never enough. That alone is something I could spend weeks thinking about but I’ve only days or maybe even hours or 3 minutes so I do my best.
If you really knew how hard I try, you’d faint.
I rarely say this, but I always think it, you’re pretty amazing Elsa – in all your juggling, providing and energy exchange.
Question, the planets are saying be polite, so is this a permanent shift?
Oops. I wrote another comment and it got sent before I was done. Sorry about that if it shows up, unfinished. My point was about the various levels you are working from– also about radio. Often thought that was a perfect match for you
I know how hard you try. I really do. And I really can’t even find words to say how happy I am that you’re finally together with your soldier.
From your bio on the interview: “She lives in Colorado with her husband and her son and plans to run her mouth until she dies.”
I hear a big sigh of relief in that one line. Like we can finally put the period at the end of the sentence that is Elsa P. Welcome home!
Mars will be within ten degrees of squaring my Mars-Mercury conjunction on and off for months. 
Serious editing going on behind the scenes to avoid using the nuclear option. Scorpio does NOT suffer fools gladly!
“For example, I have been in court for the last two and a half years and have laid low the whole time. I have been flat-lined as in, “She is probably brain dead” with no plans to do anything but… but then the game changed and I am going to have to represent.”
Elsa, my lawyer bofriend won’t, of course, breach his client confidence. But I can tell you, simply by looking at his billable hours, that you are not the only one who has decided to represent. ;-D
Oh no! I think my comment got eaten and I can’t recapture what I wrote.
Bananas, it is not in spam yet but they come in batches so give it 10 minutes or so, it may show up and if so I’ll recover it.
“Both women interacted with me as if I have some kind of authority and I’m thinking I better get with the program.”
Heh. Yup. Totally. You’ve been stepping up and taking that for quite awhile now.
I’m doing it too these days as well, which is interesting after spending 20+ years avoiding being authority.
Deb Facts:
Mars in Leo- I’ve got integrity.
Sun in Libra- I love you…
Mercury Scorp- … but don’t F with me.
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