With Saturn in Libra and people turning to focus on relating to other people I thought it might be interesting for the collective if we compiled a list of things you see people do to others that are just downright rude, insensitive or just in general turn you off. I’ll go first.
I don’t like people who can’t manage to apologize when they hurt another person’s feelings. They either do nothing or go on and on about the person’s feelings should not have been hurt therefore they’ve no need to apologize.
Your turn.
47 Responses to “Saturn in Libra: Rules of Decorum”
People unable to say a simple thank you, AND mean it, when it is due.
This actually bothers me alot more when I see it happening to someone that is dear to me, then when it is towards me.
There are lot’s of ways to say thank you..not all verbal, but if the thanks isn’t there, after a while, neither am I.
People that don’t think of anyone but themselves.
People who give you ‘advice’ you haven’t asked for.
People who can’t give a proper invitation for anything. They say things like “I’ll be in town for a few days, let me know if you want to get together. I’m really busy. But give me a call, though it may be hard to reach me, blah blah blah.” Why not just arrange a time and place? Why is that so hard for some people. Or they’ll say, “come for dinner… Oh, I don’t know when. Whenever.” Then you show up, and either they ran out to the store and you have to wait on the street, or they are home but already started dinner without you. (No kidding, both of these scenarios have actually happened more than once, with people who just refuse to commit to a time.)
Or, you call and suggest several times to get together. They call you back after all the options have passed by, and say it’s too bad you were too busy to get together, now they’re leaving town. Maybe next time!” Hmmm. I guess all this trouble with invitations boils down to problems with passive aggressiveness. So that’s one pattern I find impolite.
(But for me, nothing beats Elsa’s example. I am so tired of people explaining dismissively and curtly that I’ve got a problem because I got hurt by their put-down. It just adds to the hurt, so I don’t bother anymore to show these people that they’ve been breathtakingly rude/insensitive.)
Shooting the messenger.
Surfing the net while having a serious phone conversation with someone else? You can hear the distraction…
Oh, StephB’s comment reminds me — talking on your cell or checking email/messaging on a Blackberry during a meeting, a date, or any occasion where you’re supposed to paying attention. Uncouth! If you’re not interested in what I have to say, just get out.
Ignoring me during coffee/meal with me by answering your mobile.
“Oh hey.” Chomp, chomp, chomp. “What’s up. Having dinner with Kashmiri. Uh, I dunno blah blah blah.”
If you have to answer your phone, fine. But I wish people would say “Excuse me, I have to take a call” and walk away so I don’t have to listen…
Not acknowledging a new person to enter the room. A simple smile will do, even if you are busy yakking to someone else. Alienating people is frightening easy…and fairly easy to avoid, too.
neva we double posted…amazing how many people this kind of thing pisses people off, yet it still is a hour by hour occurrence.
Ha! Great minds and all that.
My boss did that to me all the time during my staff meetings. I eventually told him that he didn’t have to attend unless something really critical was going down, and then I’d call him in.
Anybody lower than my boss gets the stinkeye or asked if they need to be elsewhere. 
Remember when you were a kid and you talked out of turn in class? Someone usually stopped, and said “Hey! Shut your pie hole!” I know…I ran at the mouth and was told off non-stop for talking out of turn.
Last week I was in a class critique and no less than 4 mobile phones went off. One idiot was on her cellphone on facebook, and she is supposed to be giving verbal input on another person’s work. Hello?
They should be banned in class unless it is your kid calling or an emergency. Can you not talk about the new shoes you bought for one hour of your fecking life? And then people wonder why you don’t care to get to know them…
UH OH! just committed a saturn in Libra cardinal sin and called someone a name! :::slinks off in embarrassment:::
I don’t think that is a cardinal sin, kash. Matter of fact someone calls you a name you sorta have to call them one back to even the situation. 
I agree with both the dismissive attitude Elsa put forth and the cell-phone hijinks. Personally, I get over a hundred texts a day, so I clear them out often (and rarely respond) but only when my company is out of the room or otherwise engaged. I’ve flat out walked out on people who’ve invited me over just to talk to others on their cell. No thanks!
Both of those situations are a basic lack of respect, and I refuse to be disrespected anymore. It sends daggers up my spine!
Elsa nailed my biggest peeve, though. Especially when I’ve warned the person. Eg:
“Why the hell did you get all dramatic? What’s wrong with you?!”
“You expecting me to take your shit and not react to it is what’s wrong with me, motherfucker!”
*laughs* Yeah, it’s always my fault… whatever. *shakes head*
My second biggest one is people who expect to get their way all the time without actually making what they want clear. Very passive-aggressive! Ask for what you want, state an opinion, or deal with the consequences. If you don’t tell people what you do or do not want, you can’t act hurt, angry, or pouty without looking like an immature punk. Next!
When people put gum under the table. Ugh!
Adults who tap their foot against your chair throughout a lecture or in an auditorium listening to a concert, performance, or whatever.
Having to move all the time is one thing; having to vibrate me (a stranger) is another.
Some women, afraid of catching something by sitting on a public toilet seat, hovering to pee, missing the target, and NOT CLEANING UP the seat. Way to ruin the toilet for everybody, lady!
I have a lot of pet peeves, no pun intended.
Ha! I slay myself. 
People who make arrangements they don’t keep and don’t bother letting you know what’s happened.
On a similar note as opal – friends who totally throw you over for a temporary lay!
Mine is definitely Elsa’s and I will add a little more to it. People who get pissed off at you for whatever reason and refuse to apologize and then won’t speak to you until they want something else or need something from you and when you mention that the last time you spoke to them was the “scene” and you have never talked about it since even though you have tried to get whatever that was resolved…..and then they say….”oh my GOD, you are still holding on to that?!” ” You just won’t let go of things, will you?” And one is left thinking….how could you call me and want to come for Thanksgiving at my house after you called me horrific names the last time we spoke and I am supposed to just forget about that? No issue is ever resolved…I hate that kind of stuff and then when you mention that they never even apologized, then they scream it at you and ask if they have to get on their knees too!!
smartmouth. i really dislike to ask someone a question or try to communicate with them only to be met with the hard side of their ego -like i care how interesting someone is or how popular or how talkative. seriously, when i ask questions i just want answers. i don’t need a Polonius with mouthshits to waste my time with their sass.
it’s not that i don’t really adore to hear someone intelligent who enjoys what they’re talking about. that’s not what i’m saying. i’m talking about smartmouth, sassmouth, backtalk, or general childish “retorts” (a good retort is well thought out, not just a spasm of idiocy.)
where did listening skills go?
I’m annoyed by many things that seemingly bother many others…but if I had to hone in on one of my biggest pet peeves, it’d be the discourteous L.A. drivers – especially those who STILL use there cell phones/blackberry’s whilst traveling down the road! I am still amazed that they will pull out of a parking lot, cut across three lanes of traffic to get into the left hand turn lane, and think NOTHING of all the automobiles they just screwed by beinf “totally in their self-absorbed small little egotistical world”! Think Manhattan Beach or Beverly Hills!!!
It drives me absolutely INSANE when people stuff thier used snot rag in thier coffee cup. We have a trash can, put it in there. I do NOT want to reach in there and remove it when I wash your dirty cup. If you do this, repent now, its not to late to change your ways.
After reading all the comments especially from StephB and Kashmiri, I think it happens with me many times but it’s just the opposite with me… its all good that people have to say abt me.. may be coz am a Virgo sun caring too much about relationships with ppl neat and dear to me… i mostly see this kinda careless behavior from my capri pals…
Telling me off, slamming the door and then sending me letters to tell me why they told me to go to hell and that they will no longer do anything to help me. I wrote to reply how i saw the situation arising and then decided not to send it as I felt that actually deep down the situation would never change and dealing with it because i am supposed to be a good person no longer serves me. Elsa wrote recently about amputating / cutting off what no longer works and suddenly I realised that when the ‘other’ never listens enough to change and evolve the relationship then perhaps now is the perfect time to abandon the connection that has drained me and hurt me for years. So, inability to listen, dialogue and be transformed through the mistakes/dramas of relationship has become intolerable to me.
People deciding for others how they should feel, grieve, “get over it”, rejoice, or deal with life in general.
Oh, I know someone who is having both Pluto in Cap, and now Saturn in Libra, kick her ass regarding how she treats other people. (head of my dept.). She has gone for years and years unchecked, and there have been complaints, but for some reason she was teflon and they all just bounced off. Not no more – serious enough complaints against her have finally caused her supervisor to “question her”, which she hates more than anything. She has alot of Capricorn – sun, mercury, saturn, mars – I have no idea what her rising is, but she is an uber control-freak. So, I hope what I am seeing here keeps on expanding to every rude, self-centered person we all have been dealing with……:)
People who sit around, expect others to do all the work for them, then complain about how it’s being done.
Parents who think the world revolves around their kids, not the other way around, the way it’s supposed to be. Sickening! And then they sit back and wonder why their 30 yo kids can’t get their life together.
-trying to be not-so-obvious when it’s totally obvious that you’re texting under the table while I’m talking.
-consistently being late.
-double parking.
-leaving your cart in the middle of the freaking parking lot.
-not taking care of your children and responsibilities.
I have to agree with aml that litter really bothers me. Especially when it’s thrown out of a car. I mean, you have a whole CAR to keep that trash in until you get to a trashcan! But no, your car is so fucking pristine, better to use the world as your trashcan.
Also, people who talk on cell phones in movie theaters. No warning, no stink eye, I just tell them straight up to STFU.
I commute by train, and I hate it when walking from the train trying to get to the street when people walk over you, in front of you, or generally try to occupy the same space you are in at the same time as you are as if you are not even there. It is as if pretending you are not there makes you go away. I guess I am rude back when this happens I start coughing like I have the swine flu – and that generally makes them scurry away and give me my space back. (No – I am not sick).
When someone gossips about another person, and they barely know them. I tend to defend people i don’t even know if i hear someone gossiping. I’m a sun/mercury/pluto/midheaven scorpio with moon in aries, capricorn rising and venus libra. mars in aries.
- Sucking up and shitting downwards: polite/respectful to those you need and overtly rude and horrible to those you think need you.
- People who assume your stuff is also theirs just because you are friends. Boundaries keep a relationship intact – respect them!
- People who expect you to work for their time, attention, friendship but act offended when you expect the same. Who overvalue their contributions and undervalue yours. Newsflash: you are not special, you are an equal. Take the other for granted and they can reject you!
Negative talk about people in general. So many (superficial) friendships, especially among women, are based on bonding over negative talk and manufactured drama. I feel like a guy among people who behave like this and really just shut down.
Probably the people who think they’re the most important people in the world. I get that we all can only exist in our own worlds, but GEEZ, they’re not special. Everyone is equally as special which means they’re not special.
People who only reach you when they need something from you and then act like they are your best friend or something…
Lying cheating bastards. People who make up stupid lies and think you are going to believe all that crap just because they swear it’s true.
Lexie your comment immediately made me think of an Aquarian friend. Do you have Aquarius?
People who ask for your advice/opinion and then completely disregard it. Don’t fucking waste my time! I get PAID for my opinion and I give it to you for free and you wipe your ass with it? pfffft.
@user- it used to be a secondarily ticketable offense (may still be) not to have a litter bag in one’s car. I did get one but I remember thinking, “one look inside my car and you can see I’ve never littered in my life.” my van carpet could function as The Macdonalds French Fry Museum of History and Archeological Research.
I love the line by Austin Powers’ father: there are only two things in this world I cannot stand- people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures… and the Dutch.
Kashmiri, I have a distinct lack of Aquarius. Well, besides the uranus in first and aquarius being my third house and all….
>.>
<.<
A ha…(not saying a-ha as in: I knew it! but a-ha as in: hey, that makes sense).
“It amazes me when people think their lives are more important than mine”–what my Aqua. friend says with frequency.
SaDiablo…
that’s one of my negges pet peeves… and I used to think it was my fault, that I was socially handicapped or something, because I couldn’t figure out what some people wanted by hint, suggestion, intimation, and weird shifts of their body language. I mean, come on, if you want me to do something, and don’t tell me, don’t get mad at me if I don’t catch on to your little internal story telling!
and, uhm, yeah. i don’t wan t to hear your opinion on my feelings just because they inconvenience you. mostly it’ll just prove to me i sholdn’t concern myself with your opinions because they’re built to be self- serving.
which is to say… my biggest peeve- not being open to the idea that someone else might be right. i guess my gemini jupiter does come out sometimes… i doubt my own perspective because i know it’s a temporary tool my brain made up to make sense of life, but i can toss it at any time for one that’s been proven more logical. which to me seems proper decorum for debates whose goal is to actually illuminate, rather than “win.”
but it seems most people just want to “win.” very aries. eh. i’m an aries (sun, north node, things) and i can tell you winning is not so much as it’s cracked up to be, if it alienates people 
People who offer you advice when you didn’t ask for it and THEN get snippy when you don’t take it.
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i don’t like people littering. it really drives me crazy, it is the assumption that someone else will pick it up. for me it is not that it is an environmental issue, that too- but more so the underlying assumption that someone else is here to shovel shit.