As with everything in astrology factors in a chart manifest countless ways.  The 8th house is concerned with legacy and the inheritance of energy and this operates in various theaters.

I  have a packed 8th and have mentioned being a person who propagates the energy of the dead (tag – legacy) but I am also concerned with leaving a legacy. I want to leave something for my children, specifically and about 7 years ago this came home with clarity.

Pluto was transiting my Sun at the time. I did not like the way my life was set up and in spite of what I felt was a heroic effect I had no luck at all affecting change.  I tried all kinds of hi-jinks but I was powerless against the forces and it occurred to me the situation could be neatly resolved if I died.

Now I don’t mean I was suicidal. I have never been suicidal. I had just thought everything through and it seemed to me this would be an elegant solution if it were to play that way.

I arrived at this idea because the conditions were so bad and I clearly blocked from leaving them.  I tried to embrace them, I did my best in the circumstance but when I tried to imagine myself living in the scenario “for the rest of my life”, I just could not get that movie to play.

In my experience if I can’t imagine it, the odds are virtually 100% the thing is not going to happen so if I can’t get out and I am not going to stay long term… well it seemed logical to me I might die.  Ohhhh, I thought at the time.  That would really fix all this.  It would fix all this but what about my kids?

My kids were young and I had started writing by then. I’d written daily for 2 years and had a couple thousand pages done anyway. I was intently involved with my daughter… I had transferred a tremendous amount of energy to her and I realized at the time that if I died she would not only survive but be able to thrive on what I’d given to her.

My son was a toddler at the time and while this concerned me, if you die then you die.  If there was any question of this at the time it was cleared up with the gal in Fish Story: A Tale Of Two Pisces died as she had a daughter who was Vid’s age.

In whatever case, I mulled this around and while it is surely not ideal to lose your mother in childhood, I came to be a peace with the idea and it was because of all the writing.

My grandfather, Henry left his writing. He kept carbon copies of his correspondence over a 60 year period so I can access his energy very readily. Reading the letters I can know what he felt and thought about a wide variety of things.  Considering that, I realized I had created a body of work that my children would inherit and this meant they would know their mother and know her in her own words.

Once this dawned on me I relaxed and I have stayed relaxed around my own death since. Specifically, I feel I can die at any time and have no concerns about it because I have produced this body of work for the next generation.

Both my kids have 8th house Suns you know and when I die, if they ever want access to my energy, it can be found on hard drives and hearts around the world.

to be continued
For more on this theme see tag – legacy