I just read it and had nothing to add. To me the piece stood alone conveying the shock you must have felt. Not directly repulsive but also not enticing to comment.

I just went to a play last night that mocked the middle east. Most of the people in the group didn’t find it funny and/or were mildly offended. I just absorbed it for what it was – a commentary on the futility of the fighting there. My scorpio mind doesn’t mind the dirt but sometimes has nothing to add. I only added my insights once others started discussing the play. I think they missed a lot of the lightness with the in-your-face offensiveness.

Families can be like that – at least that is my experience (Pluto on the North Node in the Second house). That man should have never ever repeated that – and he should have told his family to stick it in their ear and to shut up. That is what we do around here in my family – it is called boundaries and limits and he should have drawn some with them. I have had to tell my mother to shut up many times (she has north node in Taurus – south node in Scorpio – north node in 4th house, south node in 10th) for this type of over the line remarks about other family members – thing is once I draw the box for her she is fine and she need the box (took me a while to figure that out). What I cannot believe is one – that that man did not defend you and two – that he turned around and opened his big mouth and hurt you. I am sorry but this type of stuff really pisses me off as it is SO SO wrong. My family is from the south – we don’t use the “N” word and when it is used by various distant uncles it does get a reaction. That man should have defended you – and no one should have to go through something like that. I apologize if this is too long or pointed – but I cannot stand injustice.

I am sorry they tried to degrade you. When I lived in Italy I lived with Italians from the south- Calabria. They are discriminated against where I lived and called ‘Africans’. It is about the worst thing you could say to someone.

I always wanted a ‘nigger baby’, but I don’t think that’s going to happen seen my skin colour and that of my man . I am as white as white can be. But of course that’s not what your post was about.

I love your stories and your unflinching willingness to share them, Elsa. Hey, you make me feel like my life has been “normal!” And I was definitely the rebel of my family.

We have a neighbor from the South and he is an archetypal Red Neck. Ignorant, prejudiced, carries a sidearm at all times and is soooo proud of it. He brags about stuff I would be deeply ashamed of.

Like Liz and others, I wasn’t sure what I could add to this, but this morning I realized that I am still unclear about the ‘someone to burn’ concept.

I read a Dalai Lama book years ago and (wish I could remember which one) read “some people teach us how not to be” and I wonder if this is similar to the teachings of 8th House/Scorpio/Pluto. At that time I was dealing with a difficult person in my life who I found ‘repulsive’ and would think “gee I’m glad I’m not her”–she was kind of like a yowling cat, out on the trash can keeping the neighbours awake with her racket–but over time I developed more compassion, trying to put myself in her shoes for one minute. She lacked the tools to cope, psychologically. This can play out in many ways in a person’s life.

I am, sadly, no shocked by this behaviour you describe in your story, but I do find it abhorrent.

I wonder if when people hurt you like this, if it is because they think that you can “see” them and it scares them, so they need to get rid of you first. Because they are going for the kill, they aren’t beating around the bush.

I didn’t respond because I didn’t know what the hell to say.

Elsa, I tend to just shut up and listen to your stories, once and in awhile throwing out my two cents. Though I still feel pretty new here, and don’t know you personally, I felt compelled to comment to this one to let you know that I wasn’t offended by your words, and I appreciate who you are and all your abilities. I am sorry to hear that you attract such evils, and extremely grateful for what you do here and out in the physical world.

Sadly,I think my comment was eaten!

Frog on a blog! I think I may be having probs with my computer but such a technophobe I can’t sort it myself Replied to your post because I can only imagine how devastating it is to hear that from your husband… and how do you recover? You don’t.
I also said in my possibly eaten post that the n-word tends to pass me by. As the white mother of a mixed-race child I’m tuned out to it.I am lucky nowadays that I tend to be able to avoid the kind of people that race is somehow an issue for.

Didn’t comment on that story myself as I didn’t have anything to add. I felt it shocking but also proud? that you got out when you did with such a realization right up front. So many people don’t.

A couple of bits about the racial words and PC-ness. I am around people currently who cannot imagine that someone who isn’t from “their” particular group of victims could understand how they feel or why that would be wrong and yet continue to beat me about the head (verbally speaking) as to how horrible history was to them. Even though it was their ancestors (and mine too in a different part of the world) that were harmed in much the same way.

I just want to stand up and scream that if they feel victimized then why are they not working day and night to help others out who are today dealing with the harm that befell their ancestors.

I get the psychology of victimhood and the whole – I’ll beat you about with the need to be PC but what gets me is the “righteous lack of action” while I (who didn’t really want a part in that discussion and who has other things to deal with) gets the lecture as to how much “they” are a victim.

It strikes me as twisted. Somehow the only balance for it is my SO who is constantly “mr. equal opportunity offensive” It helps me see that for some families and some groups the victimhood is more valuable than the life gotten on with.. or the helping of others.

About you saying at the end “This also illustrates another phenomena. You can read something like that and think, oh my God, she’s repulsive! I suppose that means you’re not, right?”

To which I’ll say. Nope. Sometimes people just don’t think that way. I think “gawd how painful” “how did she stand up and get out?” “What were those people thinking?” and mostly just sit there with your historical pain comparing it to past relationships of mine and realizing similarities – nothing so shocking or obvious but red flags, warning signs that i didn’t see.

This is good stuff you write and sometimes people’s silence is just them processing. Thaks for writing Elsa!

I just read the story–haven’t been on the blog for a couple of days, due to my birthday celebrations. What can you say when someone is that ignorant?

I’ve been exposed to so much stupidity over the past 15 years that nothing shocks me any more. I sigh and think, “Aren’t there any decent, halfway sane people around?”

Well, my first thought was how long it took you to divorce this guy?

Took the weekend off, just read it. Honestly, it didn’t faze me a bit: read, digested, replied, on to the next. I see that type of behaviour all the frickin’ time, there’s nothing you can do but curse the ignorance, sigh, and move on.