I was talking to the soldier on the phone last night. “Uh oh,” he said. ‘Lot lizard.”
That’s what whores who cater to truckers are called. He was sitting in his truck as she approached. I kept quiet to hear the conversation.
The soldier said, “Hey.” You have to nice to the whores or they will slash your tires, later. He would be nice to the whores anyway, he’s nice to women in general.
The gal started talking with a heavy Texas twang. Her voice was young and appealing. “Blah, blah, looking for flash?” she said. I imagined her looking up at him, her hand shading her eyes to block the sun.
“No,” he answered. “No, ma’am.”
I wondered if “flash” meant pussy and I didn’t know it. She continued to talk in her heavy accent, asking him to get on the radio on her behalf. I couldn’t make out exactly why but he complied. “Breaker… is someone out their looking for flash?”
A trucker answered. “What’s she look like? Is she one of those real ugly ones? What does she look like?” his voice blared over the cb as I cringed. What is the soldier to say? She looks good, with me on the phone? She looks like shit, with her standing there. It seemed like a true problem.
“She’s flash and she said someone has called for her,” the soldier said over the radio.
Later he’d explain that was her name. Someone had called for her and she was trying to find the right truck.
“What does she fuckin’ look like?” a trucker answered back.
I could imagine the girl standing there and definitely groked the soldier’s situation. “I’ll call you back, P. Let me straighten this out…”
He called back a few minutes later. “You didn’t want to say she looked good with me on the phone,” I said.
“No, I didn’t want to say how bad she looked, she was standing right there. She didn’t look no… good. She was about 50,” he said. ‘Scraggly hair… P, you hear the word whore and you think, Pretty Woman, all women do. They think of Richard Gere hiring Julia Roberts but it’s not like that out here, it’s not like that at all. One day you’ll come out here and you’ll see, this is not a glamorous business – it’s just not.”
“I know that. I don’t glorify prostitutes, I just think it’s funny. We’re talking and you have to say, excuse me, honey but I have whore management to do. I have got to manage these whores out here so I’ll call you back.”
He snorted. “Whore management. P, I do not manage the whores.”
“Well you did today.”
“I did. She said someone was looking for her and I said it wasn’t me. She said, I want it to be you and I said, I can’t. I’m married. Well I can respect that,” he said imitating in her twang. “Well you better accept that because my wife’ll come out here and kill you.”
I maintain, soldiers, whores and astrologers all go way back…
8 Responses to “Mars Mercury Whore Report – Houston”
Course they do. I ‘ve been researching Vesta recently, and it’s really turned my thinking around on these issues. Pity how attitudes have so degenerated over the centuries.
That’s both hilarious and sad.
‘Well, P, I could see I was going to have to handle the situation. I’ve got you on the phone, some fat trucker saying but I’ve only got $20! The whore is sayin’ gimmie the radio and I’m saying, okay I’ve had enough of this. I got get you off the phone, him off the radio and her the hell out of my way, I’ve got incoming! I’ve got infantry in my cross, I can’t deal with this shit!”
I roared. “She wanted you to give you the radio?”
“Yeah, fat chance of that. Turn your tricks, save up your money and get your own radio like these other industrious whores do. But damnit, P, you do have to watch how you deal with them because they are organized. If you’re too them, if you don’t insult them, if you tell them you’re married or you’re going to sleep they will let the other whores know they’ve already tried you. No, that motherfucker is married, he ain’t buyin’, I already tried him. It’s a business! There are 200 trucks, you know someone is going to buy so they really don’t bug you, usually if you just don’t be a prick to them and if you are a prick to them, expect to have your tires slashed because they are organized to do that too..”
He then went on the tell me the fine points of distinction between trucker whores and whores who hang around soldiers. I was interested, of course.
The only whores I’ve met are crack whores. They were usually pretty rough by the time they crossed my path, whether or not they started out that way.
OMG Lot Lizards. Haven’t heard that term in a long time. I used to date a trucker and some of the big truck stops were awful – you had to watch where you walked – or you could step on a used condom. Some of the truck stops put up fences around the lots to try to keep them out. But hell they’d open up the door and crawl right in if you didn’t have it locked. Good times.
yeah, me too goddess. sad sad stuff.
but, well, i’d daresay it’s probably a better job than mugging people.
Interesting how these afflicted women are tagged as “Crack Whores”. My girlfriend is one of them, however she calls herself a “working girl” and goes out to turn tricks just enough to support her habit after my allowance to her is exhausted for the month or week. A 100$ a day habit is not something I can support a whole month for sure. Then, after the stuff is done and gone she is the sweetest, lovable self again and our loving relationship flourishes and makes bot of us a vey happy couple. It took me a while to overcome my personal jealousy about her servciing other men, but once I found out how she treats them (they think they are on a surgery stretcher as she wipes their parts with that Purell stuff and manages to slip a condom on them with her mouth and never touches their skins at all) I finally got over it. We have been together fo over 6 month snow and have plans to move in together soon.
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It’s so interesting to me, soldiers, whores and astrologers all going way back. I definitely have a strong affinity with prostitutes, I have my whole life and I mean since I was 8 and I figured out what they did/were.
It has never abated, not for one day…this story makes me feel reassured about humans in a very powerful way, thank you Soldier!