Voice Of Mars: “If I were a young man today…”
Astrology in real life
“P, if I was a young man today, I’d not be getting laid at all. I’d just not be able to.”
“Why? You were a dashing young man,” I said.
“That doesn’t mean anything! If a man wants to get laid today he’s got to cry, have woman’s needs and read Cosmo.”
I laughed.
“Yeah, you have eat yogurt, have a bunch of feelings and make comments on clothing if you want to get laid these days and I just can’t see myself able to do that so I guess I’d be a young man with no pussy, there wouldn’t be anything I could do about it.”
23 Responses to “Voice Of Mars: “If I were a young man today…””
I don’t know – he’s pulling a pretty hot babe!
And, not having ever met him I think the machismo might be strong enough to get him some despite aging!
I don’t know that the soldier would need to eat yogurt..:) he seems to have an incredible knack for appreciating woman.
Er..women, not woman.
Someone like the Soldier would do well with someone like ME. Granted I’m emotional, but if you like motorcycles and cars and guns and all things not typically female, you’ll get along good with me!
LMAO, my comment before the correction may have gotten eaten?? Just sayin, it seems to me the soldier’s doing a-okay…he seems to have a knack for appreciating women. 
“orgasms unlimited” sounds like a cut rate sex toy shop.
I don’t know if I could date a man who talked to me about clothes…and if anyone catches me reading Cosmo, gimme a head thump, will ya!;)
No, I don’t think that’s the case. I don’t think women of today want those kind of men. I think those kind of men get left by the wayside (see Forgetting Sarah Marshall haha) To quote Dana Carvey: “women want a strong, muscular man with a wash board stomach. But they also want a sensitive man who listens But ladies You cant have that guy Cause that guy has a BOYFRIEND.”
those tests! my mum buys cosmo from her local thrift store, and I can’t even read it! and I read everything. i mean, everything i can get my hands on…even the phone book.
I can’t believe it’s still around. WHO actually reads that shite?
I thought Cosmo was high sophistication when I was 13. After that, I thought it was just stupid and ignored it. Took me a while longer to shake off Glamour, Elle, etc.
Isn’t it funny how yogurt has become this foo-foo girly food only for women? Like salad and quiche. XD I suppose it’s because we’re all supposed to be dieting like good little sheep, or something. It’s too bad, yogurt’s pretty damn good for you, when it’s not full of chemicals. American marketing strikes again.
A funny take on this is Sarah Haskins on current dot com — she does a running series on things like this called “Target: Women”. The yogurt one is particularly hilarious.
Not gonna put the actual link in because I suspect that’s what gets me thrown in the spam folder all the time.
Eh, I don’t think the soldier would have to worry as long as he treats a woman decently. Plenty of chicks still go for macho guys, and those who don’t wouldn’t be for him anyway.
Did anyone ever try a sex tip from Cosmo? I did that around the time of the virginity-losing and freaked my boyfriend OUT.
Oh come on Jennifer, you can’t say that and not tell us what it was you did. 
And I agree with what you said.
ah, sounds like he’s buying their propaganda.
as long as he doesn’t get on my case for being a girl, i’d much rather have a guy around who knew how to be a man… (which is, yes, a tricky definition, so i’d start with talking about not being afraid to express one’s mars…)
i’m not that out of touch, am i? i didn’t see it working the cosmo way with my students, either..
“sounds like he’s buying their propaganda”…which just goes to show that he does at least TRY to be somewhat responsive to women.
I still stand with those who say, he’d have no worries with his machismo, there are plenty of us who need that in their menfolk! God forbid that I, Scorpio, have to have some wimpus americanus man cause that’s all that’s left???? Uh. NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!!! I’d go w/a strong cucumber first!!! Bring on the testosterone!!!! BOOOOYAHHHHHH!!!
He should have no problem with real women who LIKE real men.
I don’t like emotional guys, or anyone overly emotional. Nor do I enjoy discussing fashion or dieting. However, a man with eyeliner on is just hot.
kashmiri – limp is not in my sexual vocabulary!! Thanks for noticing!!!
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LMAO. I absolutely love the soldiers perspective. Sounds like a Neanderthal (in a good way) like me.