Dear Elsa,
OK, here I am volunteering to be one of your guinea pigs that you can be tough and bawdy with LOL. I really want to be in a healthy relationship but keep meeting people with huge issues. As the song goes “when will I be loved?”
Love Deprived
New Zealand
“You can’t hop around with the frogs and expect to find a prince.
Contrary to belief, all the world is NOT a stage and fairy tales
are
not
true.
Good things come to those who wait,
Good things come to those who wait,
Good things come to those who wait.”
- Annalisa
My first impression when I read your post was whaaaaaaaaaaaat? This is the part that killed me:
“I really want to be in a healthy relationship but keep meeting people with huge issues.”
That’s like me saying I keep meeting loud people who yell which forces me to have to yell. Jeez. If I don’t like yelling why not avoid loud people and stop yelling myself? Could I possibly be at fault here?
Your chart is enormously commitment-phobic so if you are asking when am I going to be in a normal, traditional relationship, the answer is NEVER. And it would be one thing to wonder this if you were 25 years old but you are over 50 and I have to conclude that you like it the way it is.
I draw this conclusion based on the fact people take action when they don’t like the way their life is. They roll up their sleeves and get to work on their problems but I think what you’ve done here is taken the Linda Ronstadt song a little too far. You’ve embraced it, you’ve become it, you have become her – a person who is mistreated, lied to, etc.
Linda is essentially a victim in the song but it’s just a song. It is a moment in time, a way she may have felt at that age… or not seeing as Phil Everly wrote the song. She may have just sang the song and collected the paycheck where you have opted to take this on as a persona.
Now I may sound bitchy but this is not meant that way at all. I could care less if you want to be Linda Ronstadt. I wanted to be her too, 30 years ago. But if you are serious about finding “love” as I imagine you mean when you use the word, you are going to have to let go your fantasy and deal in reality which makes it clear you have problems in relationships and the problems are yours.
Listen to Linda. She’s very fetching but 30 years have passed.
That’s who you are. If you want to be her (and I think you do) then carry on.
If you want something else you’ve got your work cut out for you starting with comprehending the fact that while other people may have “huge issues”, I’d be highly surprised if they were any larger than your own. As a matter of fact, I would faint dead away.
Now I know you’ve read my blog for many years (at least 5 or 6) so you know I am not mean-spirited. I thought your question deserved and honest answer so this is it:
If you want a relationship you will have to compromise and join us in the real (and really flawed) world. If you opt not to do that, I completely understand.
pic by satori
Comments welcome.
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23 Responses to “Clearcut Astrology: “When Will I Be Loved?””
“Your chart is enormously commitment-phobic so if you are asking, when am I going to be in a normal, traditional relationship, the answer is NEVER. And it would be one thing to wonder this if you were 25 but you are over 50 and I have to conclude that you like it the way it is.”
I feel that this particular excerpt is too judgemental. Well, everybody has been forwarned…:-)
To Loved Deprived: Have you cared to listen in between the lines from what your “loud” friends/lovers have been “yelling” you at? Are you more anxious to get your message across than pause for breath and “listen” at the same time? I think you have missed out on most of your interactions with them.
I can identify with your cappy moon and the feeling of deprivation be it love, material stuff, power, control and status. Thus we tend to overwork to get the security and comfort level we need. But it’s never enough. The feeling of deprivation persists whether you have the old corvette at 20 or drive the bmw at 50.
What and where is the source of your feelings of deprivation? Unless you address this issue first and foremost…I don’t think you would ever feel satisfied enough to feel secure and loved regardless of from whom and how much of these will be given to you.
I wonder sometimes how easy it is to stay away from “people with issues”.
Once you meet someone, their issues aren’t right out into the open. You have to get to know them and by that time, it might be too late.
Speaking as someone that has HUGE ISSUES, we usually don’t tend to bring them up right away. It’s not impressive. We bring out our good qualities, first.
I want to offer and option to close comments on these. If you want to purchase but don’t want people to be able to comment, just let me know and I will post it that way…
I’m good, Elsa. You can open mine up for comments.
what makes this chart extra commitment-phobic? (feel like i should be able to figure this out, but there’s probably something that’s obvious that i’m missing…?)
elsie – all the planets in Aquarius, Pisces in the 11th, Neptune on the descendant. Uranus opp the Moon… there is overwhelming indications this person is going to avoid traditional relationship and this is completely independent of who the partner is or isn’t.
Kat: “I feel that this particular excerpt is too judgemental. Well, everybody has been forwarned… 
”
I have to disagree.
If elsa had appended what you quoted above with “…and that makes you a bad person.” I’d agree with you, but I can’t see any judgmental stuff in her post.
Thanks, Jilly. I can tell you, I had no feelings of judgment when I wrote that whatsoever. I was trying to give information. This is a case of a person living as they please and blaming others or other things.
She’d probably be happier to live as she pleased and know this was what she was doing. Either that, or realize this no longer pleases her and if that is the case, this can be a prompt in the other direction.
Personally, I could care less. It’s none of my business what she does. My business is to clearcut which is exactly what was done here.
ps – I wonder how long it would take to come to this knowledge in traditional therapy, never mind what it would cost. It boggles the mind.
yay I actually communicated properly during Saturn Virgo lol.
you’re out strolling with someone… which is more helpful:
“mind your step, dear.” or
“HOLY HANNAH, watch out for that alligator!’
I don’t see it as judgmental. Interesting stuff here Elsa. I know this person gained a lot from it and thanks you profusely. I also think it’s interesting that this commitmentphobe was married at age 22 and stayed that way for 20 years 
*ah* thanks, very interesting. wonder what kinds of relationships the kids born last mid-february with 4-5 aquarius planets plus chiron will wind up having?? prob living communally on a space station 
*lol* it seems i have a granddaughter born feb 18 — maybe we should stay in touch
I don’t think it’s judgmental to say that an uber-Aquarian sort isn’t going to be happy if she tries to be in a conventional relationship. To some degree we all get raised to “want” one, or at least say that we do, and I think it is cool for Elsa to point out that not everyone REALLY wants that or would be happy with it if they tried to get it. It doesn’t mean she can’t commit with the right person if she gets her issues worked on, it just means that the relationship shouldn’t try to be one where hubby comes home every night at 6 and then they watch Leave It To Beaver. Some sort of space needs to be built into the relationship. Maybe living apart, maybe one or both of them goes out of town a lot separately, but both of them need to be okay with that.
Why Bridget Jones?
Elsa, Question for you.
Is ‘freedom loving’ a euphemism for ‘commitment phobic’? Or are they expressed differently in a chart?
Rachael, yes, you could say that< I guess. They go hand in hand often enough although I do have resolution for this I offer to clients.
Er… this comment is made without re-reading this post from a year ago. No time.
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I guess this solved the question on “Gee, I can’t think of any questions I want to know about with my chart”
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I ordered one. Finally made good on my insistence I wanted to, too!