I wrote this in 2004. I am about 25 years old in the story and you can see how sophisticated I’ve  become. I am only 4% as rude as I used to be.

Eve was a cute little chick that worked in an independent convenience store, when I was a Frito Girl. Now I liked, Eve a lot! She had ATTITUDE which is uncommon in the small town where we lived. She had major personality. She was sort of “goth” long before that kind of thing existed and she was dating the Pepsi Man.

Now there were lots of Pepsi Men, but this was THE Pepsi Man. The stud-ly one.

I couldn’t stand the guy myself. I hate men who like their body better than they like mine, ICK! This guy was like that. He was always in the mirror which I think is repulsive. I definitely thought Eve rated better and I told her of course.

“You still dating the dickhead?” I’d ask each week when I delivered chips to her store.

She’s roar. Eve was no dummy, she knew he was a dickhead,as well I did.  DIIIIIIIIICK! HEAD!

Time passed and Eve continued to be fetching.  Then one day she told me some guy had been coming in the store and begging her for a date. BEGGING, she said. BEG! GING!

“So what’s the problem? What’s wrong with him?” I asked, truly curious.

“Oh, I don’t know. He’s a little old…”

“How old? Old as dirt?”

“No. Early 30;s maybe.”

Eve was 26, heading into her Saturn return.

“That’s okay? What else?” I asked. I  really wanted to know.

“He’s short,” she said. “But he really likes me. And he’s begggggggggggging for a date. Beg-ging!”

“Short? What do you care about short? How short is he, because you’re dating the stupidest dick in this town. Eve, your boyfriend is a dick! I say go out with this guy. Do it. You’ve got nothing to lose, your boyfriend dumb as a post. Do you know I see him staring at himself in the rear view mirror of his truck?” I laughed. “Oh my God, Eve,  I really hate that guy.”

I only delivered to her store once a week and she didn’t wait. She actually drove around the town until she found my Frito truck and me in it.  I stepped out of my truck and there she was and she was crying.

Long story short she was in love and she wanted to thank me and stuff. I was a little taken aback because Eve had an edge, she was not a crying type.

Turns out this guy took her out to the middle of desert on this first date of theirs, the one he’d been begging for. I don’t know all the details, ‘cept they danced out there on this piece of land he owned.

Apparently he could really dance, he told her that she was the one. He asked her to marry him and promised if she would marry him, he would build her a house – any house she wanted and that he’d do it with his hands.

Eve quit her job a week later. Eve and Dale got married. He built her a house. He built her this INCREDIBLE house, lots of rock work, he built her a rock fireplace, patios, the house was beautiful.

Eve had two babies, the first born at home. The second one born in the hospital because you know.  Er… to hell with that pain!  Eve and Dale and their two round-faced kids were so happy…

“You gotta do this, Elsa. You gotta have some kids…”

She’s took my advice, then I took hers. ((Eve and Dale))

The End.