Attention Seeking Behavior: Neptune, The Hall Of Mirrors, Stories We Tell Ourselves, Absorbing Negative Energy And… Liberation
Astrology in real life
I guess it is hard for some people to understand how someone like me who does not like attention could write a blog like this. Fact is this is actually a NON attention job. I mean, I work at home and do one on one consultations. I am complete unseen save the videos which are not real.
I mentioned on the boards I avoided the big astrology conference in Denver last year for one reason and one reason only: I knew I’d be recognized. Had I been able to go and fly under the wire I’d have been there but those days are gone.
The reason I don’t like attention is I am so frequently crucified and also because people talk to my hologram (who they think I am rather than who I am). This is inordinately hard to deal with because I have no idea how to be their projection and here is a terrible flaw in people (sorry) that I see all the time.
When people have a belief about someone / a way of seeing them, they are loathe to adapt it. It is only a very small minority of people who are willing (or able) to do this which makes it a horror for me. They just don’t want to be wrong… they want to make YOU wrong.
You can see it sometimes on this blog. I will make a statement and someone will challenge it. I will come back with mountains and mountains and reams of evidence to corroborate my statement but it is dismissed generally without any consideration never mind, serious consideration.
I don’t like attention because I can’t defend (Saturn) against Neptune and it is overwhelming to me and this happens offline as well on and it puzzles me.
In fact I ran into a stunning example of this a few weeks ago and asked the soldier, “What do you do when a person has a theory and you show them 700 reasons why it’s wrong and they don’t budge. I mean they look at a 100 story tall mountain of evidence that all points in one direction and they conclude it means the opposite thing.”
“Nothing you can do, P. There is just nothing you can do.”
For the record (for the people who can take in information), although this blog gets attention, that is not the reason I write it. I started writing it because my daughter was very ill for a number of years and this made it impossible for me to work at a normal job.
I have continued to write it because I am very invested, I have become very good at it and because I believe people need this light in their life.
I think that I (and my blog) help a good number of people and I think those people go on to help other people and those people go on to help people who go on to help people, etc. As a unfortunate side affect there is a lot of attention directed at me. Most of it is negative but this is also service.
One of the reasons this community is so good is because I absorb and carry all the negative energy, have you ever noticed that?
Who gets attacked around here, hmm? It’s very strange.
The readers here are free to speak and mull around because I catch all the bullets. One way or the other, it’s the way it ends up and no one should worry about too much as I was clearly born for it.
How hard is it for you to come off your story once it’s set? Why is that?
29 Responses to “Attention Seeking Behavior: Neptune, The Hall Of Mirrors, Stories We Tell Ourselves, Absorbing Negative Energy And… Liberation”
Well, 2 people attacked Loon in a week. I stood up both times and took the bullets.
A week later she shot me.
Tell me we’re not in a hall of mirrors.
On the lightning rod, you are right and I have been up to this… I have been workin’ in this dirty grave since I was 4 years old (that I know of).
It is too bad people cannot see the things I can see because they are wondrous… like the Little Match Girl, however she died from exposure didn’t she?
Yeah, there is a price to pay for seeing beauty like that!
Oh! About that mis-shooting, in that movie, Strangers I wrote the self defense blog about:
http://www.elsaelsa.com/archives/2009/04/14/self-defense-for-women-and-men-saturn-tip-for-the-day/
I forgot another thing the soldier mentioned / taught me during that.
In the movie the guy mistakenly shoots his best friend. The phrase is this:
“Positively identify your target”.
Yup, you have. I’ve helped people because you’ve helped me. And now they can help others. Is that cool or what? 
i’ve had to. it’s difficult and sometimes sad, but i see getting to know someone in general as a process of letting go of your preconceptions..
(and yes, this place has served as a sort of psychological anchor, somehow. 
Think about how much better you will be at not letting that target hit you with even more time doing this….some people are just not able to see things clearly or make sense in a rational way or process information in a give and take manner…weighing all parts….
You like to write and you want people to be able to comment on it and they will because what you write sparks people to share their experiences and maybe 8 out of 10 times you spark people on the same wavelength that you are writing on and they get it, but there are still those 2 others that will be sparked in a whole different manner because their experience was opposite of what you are writing and it no longer is just an experience, but a belief for them and that is what you are fighting and that is impossible.
you do a great job and maybe you can just grin and bear it and learn to dodge when the shoe comes flying at you!
I don’t know how to insert a smiley face, but I wanted to …..smiles..
I learn a LOT on this blog…both astrology AND psychology…I hope one day to be able to repay you for all that you’ve taught me, Elsa…in the meantime, I pass along the knowledge I’ve gained as best I can. If I can’t pay you back, I try to pay it forward. Thank you, Elsa…for all that you do.
DenaMaria for a smiley face just type the colon, dash and bracket above the zero. The blog converts that to a smiley face.
It’s hard to change my story about something. I wouldn’t have it in the first place if I didn’t believe I had cause. Having said that, I have no problem at all admitting that I’m wrong.
Loons going off the blog didn’t surprise me at all. That had been building for awhile.
Thanks for being a conduit so other people can learn about themselves. I have learned so much here, I think I’m a more understanding about people and astrology at large because of your ‘bar.’
I was sad to see Loons go. I remember her telling us about her progressed Mars/Venus moving into Aries in her 12th House. I’m only mentioning this because I know many of us have Mars-trouble and seeing an example of progessed Mars at work may be of use. I hope this doesn’t offend anyone that I mention this.
Tam – she didn’t go anywhere, she just lurks now.
People do eventually leave though. On average it takes 2-3 years and yes I do know that, I have been doing this for almost 10 years and this is predictable.
I also saw it coming, she wanted to exercise control over my writing but wound up censoring herself.
kash – I just saw your comment and I was sorry to see her go too but I did everything I could. I defended her mightily and have definitely felt the loss of her support because she was pretty much the only regular tipper on this blog plus she took pains to shop Amazon so I could get some kind of pay.
The thing is, it’s just like the gal who sent me cookies – 2 months later, slapped me down. There is nothing I can do. I stand here as an object ripe for projection and people do avail themselves of the opportunity.
I can see it coming until I am blue but I am telling you I can’t control it. I mean, what am I to do? Cow tow? To who? Which one of you should be able to control my speech?
The whole point of this blog is free speech. Your and mine.
Thanks for the tip Tam….in reference to my comments, I was just talking about being a target and speaking in general terms…I didn’t know about Loons leaving or what happened. Gosh, I am sorry that happened too, maybe it is a mars thing like kashmiri mentioned….alot of energy out there right now.
I was referring to more along the lines of “mexicans love hot sauce on their food, so therefore I now think all hispanics, a. are mexican and b. love hot sauce.” you get set into an idea and it is hard to work out of it and see other sides….smiley face….gotta take the manual out to learn this stuff
God, I’d hate to see anyone censor themselves to placate other people. Recipe for unhappiness. I think you handled yourself admirably.
I hope my point re. repressed Mars wasn’t too fuzzy…I wasn’t referring to yours/Elsa’s Mars, in case there was confusion.
“I think you handled yourself admirably.”
I appreciate that kash but I wanted to say one more thing.
I don’t feel like “handling” myself all the time. I get up at 4 in the morning, and I quit at 9 at night and I have kept up this schedule for a number of years. I am a human being and I get tired at times. The standard I am held to is fuckin’ ridiculous.
Just go back and look at what I wrote today. Then go look at the dispatch.
Then try to comprehend the fact I have produced at this level for almost 10 years and if you can manage that, you will never bother me about anything again.
(not you personally, kash, I mean in general)
It is true, I feel free here. Only once did I come close to dukin’ it out with someone else in the comments, but then I thought (no, I KNEW) it wasn’t worth fightin’ with someone I wasn’t invested in personally. Just being conscious of that was a milestone for me. Cause really, you don’t want to get me started when I’m riled up. I can be a pain in the ass
One more reason I so appreciate this blog. I don’t know how you do it Elsa, but I’m grateful the universal tides bring you back to shore again and again.
About all the anonymous people, I think that happened because the mechanic was working on something behind the scenes (a bug) that has dogged him for a month. He finally cracked the nut and resolved the problem or in his vernacular on this occasion:
I FIXED IT, MOTHERFUCKERS!
He was addressing me and his brother, not you guys. It’s been bothering him since the boards when up.
This is exactly the dynamic for performers too, the need to defend (Saturn) against Neptune. Whether someone is on the stage or screen, or whatever, any person in the public eye has to have a persona that they project in public in order protect that private self. Some people can’t do it – many of them don’t stay in the business or if they do they go nuts (we certainly see celebs in the news that fit this).
And of course people mistake the Neptune for the real person all the time, which can be a difficulty in itself. Just look at some of the comments on celebrity blogs or movie blogs when the discussion turns to the actors or actresses themselves. Fans feel (and act) like they know the person – and it’s amazing sometimes to see to what extent they believe they do.
And of course anyone in a “limelight” situation also needs to deal with the harsh criticism that comes from people who feel like they know the person.
Not exactly the same but it reminded me of this because it’s a similar dynamic.
I’ve been reading your blog since the xanga days, and I have to thank you again and again for helping me get through the day. I was a wee bit teenager when I first started reading you and now I am well into my 20s. You’ve taught me so much about life, love and morals. Thank you again for your service and for affording me all this freedom! I hope to repay you someday as my circumstances get better, if not directly than indirectly by making this world a better place to live in!
Found this post thanks to Shannon’s advice. Wow, this is wonderful. Elsa, your insight and understanding is really key to having such a wonderful community up here. With all of the different things we each bring to the boards, you provide a place where people can just be who they are and learn from one another. As for folks projecting their ideas onto you … sigh! … it’s a big issue and wisely, you know there is only so much you can do. But I guess I just wanted to give you a nod of support and admiration for your work, and thank you for all that I’ve learned (and continue to do so) from this amazing community you have created.
Dunno how I missed it the first time around but this
I FIXED IT, MOTHERFUCKERS!
made me snort a little coffee up my nose. <3
Wow, I need to spend more time delving into this blog.
(Me, the history buff, and I had no idea about the depth here!)
Astrology can be life saving in the correct hands.
And providing a platform for discussion is going above and beyond.
Thanks Elsa!
You’re welcome, anita. There 10,000 posts here and I wrote another 10,000 on my original blog. I’m going on 11 years…
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I need this light in my life. You’re right, I have seen on message boards where a certain poster becomes the bad guy, and it seems like it’s never any of the non-Elsa posters who gets villainized around here. You are a lightning rod, Elsa!
I come off my story pretty easily. I NEED other people to show me things because I am so Libra, I only see in the mirror. I came on here wanting to tell my son a tough story and through people’s comments I soon saw that I should not do that. There are a million other examples. I am always willing to be convinced, but I do try to use an internal checking system.