Dating? Using Astrology To Filter People, It’s Not Such A Bad Idea…
The particulars…
I wrote this in 2006 in response to the comments on the “She’s Destructive” advice posts…
I thought I’d tell the back story to that and elaborate a bit. My sister and I have studied astrology since we were kids. Some years ago, maybe 15 years ago, she told me that she hated people with Saturn in Sagittarius.
As you can see, it’s my whole family who is not politically correct buy in any case, I looked at her and laughed, “Could it be that you’re a Pisces with a Sadge Moon?”
She raised her eyebrow because this had not occurred to her. Classic Pisces oblivion.
See, people who have Saturn in Sagittarius are going to hit my sister’s chart HARD. Not to mention, her Sun and Moon are part of a Grand Cross. So who needs it? With a Grand Cross in her chart, I’d say she has enough trouble and I am in similar circumstance. People with Saturn in a certain sign jack up both my Sun and Moon as well so think about this…
Say I’m going to date and I am going on Match.com to do so. And say I know that everyone born in 19** has Saturn slamming my Sun and Moon. Should I pass those profiles up?
In two words, hell yes! What’s the point, maaaaan? To find a partner, right?
Well, do I want a partner who constantly tells me I suck? Probably not! And this is how it is when someone’s Saturn is leaning on your Sun. You try to shine (Sun) and they tamp you down out of fear (Saturn). Sound like fun? Hell no!
So what about the Moon? Well, that’s even worse. I say I feel bad and what’s Saturn say? “Grow up, you baby!”
::laughs::
Greeeaaaaaat! That’ll help my low mood!
See, I am a Capricorn rising as is my sister. We have enough fear and chastising going on without needing someone to help us with that!
So here’s the thing, for the people with less knowledge of astrology. Saturn moves slow. If you want to filter like this…well for my purposes, I am only going to date in about a 10 year age range anyway. Saturn has a 28 year cycle so that means I am only going to box out 1 year of people.
Hear this: If you are three years older than me, we ain’t goin’ out! Period. And you should be glad of this. You should be glad I know this, because I am sure I would make you as miserable as you’d make me!
And astrology aside, if you’re smart, you filter people anyway. Life is too short to spend it around people who make you feel lousy, don’t you think?
Of course if you are a masochist then you should reverse all this. 
33 Responses to “Dating? Using Astrology To Filter People, It’s Not Such A Bad Idea…”
Cool explanation. So, anyone whose Saturn aspects your personal planets should be avoided? Even the “good” aspects such as sextiles or trines? Also, what about people whose Saturn falls on your 5th, 7th or 11th house?
This is very, very interesting, both in terms of filtering out and filtering ~in~. All my life, I have unconsciously filled my life with people born in a certain year range. Over and over, I have attracted and been attracted to these people. Most of the ‘exceptionally good’ people in my life are in that age bracket. I’m gonna have a closer look at the astrology of that. I’m also gonna see if I can pinpoint my ‘baddies’ — what ~they~ have in common, using your leads as clues. Thank you.
no more geminis for me man… no more.
beautiful. Yep!
I have to pipe in and say I agree filtering is a smart idea, but I think it’s more complicated than just cutting out certain years to avoid bad aspects. Example:
Natally, I’ve got Saturn square sun so this energy is going to be with me always. And over the years, I’ve learned on my own how to get what’s good out of the square and not to put up with the crap that comes with it. I’ve had serious relationships with people my age (so their Saturn also squares my sun) and have I let any of them put me down or tell me I suck? No way. And hey, if they want to tell me to grow up, that’s what I want. With a natal Saturn square sun, I don’t want a shoulder to cry on when my chips are down, I don’t want to be coddled. I want those around me to be tough and tell me to step up to the plate because it makes me feel stronger.
It all depends on what you want out of a relationship and what you want to give.
hahaha.. I just drew up a synastry chart on astro.com for my boyfriend and I. We have Mars sq
Hahaha. I just drew up a synastry chart on astro.com for my boyfriend and I. We have Mars sq Mars and his Saturn/Moon is conjunct my Moon – He’s always telling me to “Grow Up” or “Get over it” when I feel sad. You are so right! :X
I totally agree – best for me to stay away from late degrees of gemini or sag — my virgo moon don’t like it
And yet the person in my life does have a sag saturn squaring that moon…
: ))))) I love how you say this, to just “box out 1 year of people”. Gladly, I box out that same tribe as your sis.
“And yet the person in my life does have a sag saturn squaring that moon…”
Well, if you aren’t supposed to avoid then you’re not going to avoid… this is the beauty I suppose. 
I wonder if I’m “teaching” him to be more compassionate. Maybe he’s teaching me not to flood all the time.
(In regards to his saturn squaring my moon pluto)
Funny how they want the energy but they don’t want the energy. I don’t want to be squashed but I do want some boundaries.
people with mid degrees of gemini/sadge set off my shit. I like how this filtering focuses on the “for me” part of this as opposed to supporting a propensity to demonize a whole segment of people when it’s just me that doesn’t relate well with them.
“You try to shine (Sun) and they tamp you down out of fear (Saturn).”
Why/what do they fear? I went through this as the Sun person and it was awful.
Thanks Elsa!
I’m attracted/attract people born in ’79. Looking at the synastry charts:
#1 – my saturn square his sun
#2 – his saturn square my moon, my saturn conjunct his sun, mercury,venus
#3- his saturn square my moon, opposite my mercury, my saturn square his venus
I’ll have to think about how these aspects actually played out…
oh ouch. Advice not taken from Elsa. Sorry, chemistry, choices and other stuff must have overrulled this one. His saturn is the same sign as my sun. My saturn is the same sign as his moon. So we do it to eachother. Ouch. No exact conjunctions but I don’t have birthtime for specifics. Most of the time it seems as if we’ve “got eachother’s back” and are basically there for eachother. And yes, we do flip roles as to who is the adult/parent. It can flip from minute to minute with us.
Sorry Elsa, you are probably right but this one seems to have caught me good.It’s had it’s difficult moments, days, weeks, but boy have we both grown and have a wonderful time as friends and playmates now.
mud – there is no need to apologize. If you are meant to be with someone, nothing is going to stop it. I am talking about date selection on match.com here.
I am also talking about 2 Capricorn types (my sister and I) who are already burdened. For all I know, you could use a burden.
I seem to have had lots of relationships with guys born in ’75. My daughters dad is 4/21/75, my husband is 3/21/75, and one of my best friends is 2/1/75.
I also used to really but heads with Aries women, not so much anymore. My Saturn is in Aries opposing my Mars in Libra.
but my little leo kiddo _is_ a sunny child, and why should i expect him to be anything else?
my saturn’s 5 degrees away from his sun…
oh, yeah, and he’s a moon/saturn cancer kiddo. can’t imagine where that comes from… (*sarcasm*)
*sigh* i just try to be good saturn. it’s tricky. particularly since i don’t get along with saturn well, considering his starring role in my own natal t square… this past year has been quite a lesson in the need to do saturn correctly.
My almost seven year old step son has Saturn conjunct his and my Gemini sun which triggers all the difficult things in my chart. My son is only six months older but the other aspects in his chart soften the effect of that Saturn.
I know we’re talking about dating here but some of this kid stuff is tough! I think it has helped me knowing that there’s an explanation for why the child is so challenging for me.
I think some of us are just going to end up doing it, even though we know we should avoid it. I think my psyche is attracted to those with karmic ties, or difficult Saturn (I’ve gone on about my Saturn/sun synastry ex before) or both, and I just plain won’t even notice guys who do not set me off in difficult places, apparently. I had one ex where Saturn wasn’t a factor (he was a Saturn in Virgo and I have no Virgo) and while that was my longest lasting relationship and there were other factors for the attraction in the first place, I pretty much got over it in an hour after he dumped me 
I shouldn’t date guys my own age (Saturn in Leo) OR guys 8 years older (Saturn in Taurus), but that is what sets me off. I could probably avoid Saturn in Sadge folks but they’re too old for me to date anyway.
For everyone else, here’s a list of Saturn placings that you might find useful: http://www.saturnreturn.net/where_is.html
Elsa – funny but somehow I don’t think I need a burden There are other things that really make it all worthwhile and those things might just be more important – like he helps me play! and relax!
Now that’s interesting. The last two guys I’ve dated have had Saturns that sit on my moon and mars. But I’ve actually enjoyed the containing effect it has on me, difficult though it has been to absorb at first. I have 4 planets in the fifth house, plus a Leo Rising, and having these men sit on my exuberance a little is causing me to manifest it more responsibly.
I kicked the first one for lack of morals, but the current one seems pretty solid (5 planet stellium in Taurus!). I find I can channel the energy into artistic pursuits more easily now, while having Saturn give my moon and mars structure has peeled away a lot of my indecision by letting me know it’s okay to take my time before I leap.
I love people born in 1963. Especially Geminis born in 1963. Two of my happiest relationships were very close in birthdays, so their Gemini conjoined my ascendant and mercury, and their venus conjoined my venus and sun. And their leo my uranus in leo, so it felt electric, and fated and fascinating…
Generally a lurker here but just wanted to say that I’m more than loving your posts Elsa. Libra sun, Sage rising (and intercepted Cap) here. You just keep putting the finger on spots that need closer attention.
I always loved this post. I already have Saturn squaring my Sun natally, so I can date people my own age without noticing. I’m already telling myself I suck so how can I hear them? But my Saturn squares my ex’s moon and I don’t think he liked that at all.
Wow, I was just saying the same thing on the boards. I realize I may need to eliminate virgo saturn. My mom has saturn in virgo. No wonder. Sagitaruis Saturn for sure. Infact I have a friend with saturn in virgo and the square does not feel as bad as the conjunction. But I will still stay clear of them. I am old enough to realize I dont need my moon under all that stress. My sun either as both these have been ruffed up by pluto.
Heads Up from Elsa P!
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How do you figure out who’s signs are incompatible with yours to begin with?
Do you think there are any exceptions to this at all?