Putting garage sale signs up, in the middle of the night on Friday, to a friend’s non-existent garage sale, starting at 6am on Saturday. With a sign on their door, knock loudly.

(A group effort.)

My ex has 10 brothers, and in our culture, brothers-and-sisters-in-law have the right to tease each other, and you have to be a good sport about it or they’ll just get worse until you do.

One day we were visiting his family, all the brothers took off to play some b-ball, and while they were gone I did some cleaning for my mother-in-law and was stretched out on the loveseat watching a movie when they got back.

One of their younger cousins had bought a tarantula spider but his mother wouldn’t let him in the house with it so he brought it over to their house and they had it in an old-fashioned fish bowl with some plastic netting over the top, and the fish bowl was resting on some shelves built on top of a half-wall between the kitchen and the living room. The loveseat was up against this half-wall and below the shelves on the living room side.

So I’m curled up there watching my movie, meanwhile the brothers all arrive, come in, and they’re perching on the the rest of the furniture, the arms of the furniture, finding spots on the floor, just quietly all sitting down in the living room. I’m ignoring them, just watching my movie, but that should have been my first clue, them quietly perching - they were getting ready for the show.

The youngest one slips into the kitchen, and from the other side of the half-wall he shouts, “Oh no the tarantula jumped out!” And just then I felt something hit my hip! Man in a wink I was on all fours, crawling away and I turned back to look and it was a pair of balled-up socks! All around me my ex and his brothers were rolling on the floor, the furniture, gasping and holding their sides, laughing their asses off. They said my braid was sticking straight out behind me, I was in such a hurry to get away.

Once I calmed down I had to admit they got me good. Buncha damn coyotes those guys, they like to play tricks on everyone. My father-in-law didn’t think it was so funny, next day he threw the tarantula in the burning barrel, fish bowl and all. I kinda felt sorry for it.

I was over at my friends house across the street. She had two brothers but one in particular was very trickstery. I was over there sitting on the porch. It was a very hot and muggy day. The brother comes over to me and says “Hi! You want some chocolate?” My friend was in the front door way and had a funny look on her face, like she knew something I didn’t. But I had no idea what it was that she knew. The chocolate was a brand I didn’t recognise. But it sure looked good! “Yeah! Thanks!” I reached out and broke off a couple of squares and cheerfully chewed them up. It was a bit chalky. Then the giggles started. “What’s so funny?” I asked? “Oh nothing! You want another piece?” I love chocolate so of course I said ok.
I ate half the bar! Soon they were doubled over laughing so hard. “What in the world is SO funny?” My friend came out took the box from her brother and showed me the other side…it read “Chocolate Laxitives”. I kinda turned green and was SO PISSED! But they were on the floor laughing now. Needless to say I spent the evening in the bathroom.