mudlikesubstance wrote on Facts Of My Life:
“…As for the lesson of assuming that others are like us. That strikes me as a very important lesson here. I make that assumption and it turns around and bites me. I am learning. slowly that not everyone means well, is nice and is trying hard…”
I think it’s critical and perhaps now I can try to convey something hard to convey, at least to the regulars here. I think over these recent days, if you’ve been tracking in particular the Domesticating Elsa posts you may be realizing (or remembering) that I don’t come from anywhere normal. I really and truly do not and I am telling you that you can’t undo this stuff.
If you have extreme experience you are going to be colored by that experience forever. You may look like the people around you but you are going to be forever out of step. They go click, click, click and you go clack, clack, clack.
Consider the soldier who grew up in various countries. They were trying to feed him stuffed grape leaves when he was a kid and he said, “Why can’t we just eat normal American food like rice and beans?”
This was decades ago before Mexican food was popular in the US and you can see how jacked that is. It’s completely confused and when you’re confused like that it is pretty much impossible to de-confuse yourself no matter how hard you try. I mean you can and will be still untwisting 10 and 20 years later.
I am another example. To this day I don’t really understand why people don’t want a boisterous card, game. I know they don’t and I accept that they don’t but why they don’t is mysterious to me as I think they are 400 times the fun.
As a third example, just take men and women. Women routinely expect men to act like women and when they don’t they denigrate them. Why is that? Why do so many people look at other people and have an expectation they are going to think and react the same way they would?
This causes all kinds of problems. People are disappointed in people who are not disappointing for example but it also cheats you out of life. Because if you would or could stop projecting like this you would have the opportunity to discover who the people in your life really are.
Am I rude and hateful because I talk smack when I play cards? Well, no. Where I come from this is not bad manners, it is exactly the opposite! People came to our house… they drove all the way to the desert to be part of our game because it was fun. The chance to play cards with me and my father was coveted and then I get to town and I am pariah. Is that not confusing? It was completely bewildering.
If you gave everyone who read this $10 and told them to go buy something, would they all go buy the same thing? I doubt it.
I am from the desert and I am cold all the time. My son is from Colorado and goes shirtless when I am wrapped in a blanket. If I am going to expect him to be cold when I am cold, I am going to be sorely disappointed…
How often do you find yourself disappointed in other people? Better yet, how much of that is your fault? (and what is in your 7th house?)
Image courtesy Rob McGlade