Astrology And Male / Female Roles In Family Systems
Ask the collective
Here’s a strange question. I have long refereed to myself as a dog… I have my alter ego dog name I have posted with for a dozen years and there are some people (like Claire France) who just plain call me “Dog” because of it so when the soldier refers to us (the people an animals who live here) as a dog pack, I have no problem with it.
We have very strong male/female roles here and don’t get me wrong. I am not saying this is preferable, I am just saying that when you throw us – the dice that live in this house – this is how we land.
My son aligns himself with the solider as does Cluck. Matter of fact both of them damn near abandoned me from the minute he walked in the door.
Dora did the same to the soldier. She hangs out with me, cooks with me, eats with me. Not that she doesn’t welcome him when he comes home it’s just once she’s done that she is right back on my heels.
He says she looks to me for guidance as to how to act because she’s a girl and I’m a girl and it sure seems right. She’s by my side constantly, I’ll tell you that.
Now if you’re talking astrology, the (only) person with a yang chart here, is Vidroid. The soldier has an inordinately yin chart and so do I which leads me to think this coding is cultural or IN THE BLOOD.
Either that or it’s in the pheromones. Because yin chart or no, the soldier is the alpha everywhere he goes throughout his life.
See, I am assuming (perhaps incorrectly) that the male / female roles are not so defined in the average clan or family. This is judging by how a lot of women talk on this blog. Basically, it appears they are very much in the male role.
So what about your family? Are there clearly defined male and female roles? Which role are you in, how do you think you got there and does it match your chart?
20 Responses to “Astrology And Male / Female Roles In Family Systems”
Humm. I am VERY different as a single vs. when I am paired. The more alpha (and the last one was uber alpha) the man, the more I try to fit into the supportive female role… However, this does not make me entirely happy. What am I saying? It makes me miserable.
Next time around I am going to have to have an unusual domestic set-up like separate houses or something because I don’t function well in those traditional roles. It makes me insecure.
Read an awesome take on how sun pluto women are not great in relationships because they are attracted to powerful men and then try to suck the power to themselves/weaken the men.
Guilty as charged.
If you’re talking about surface things like who does which tasks the lines are blurred for me. I am happiest when I’m working and in my current relationship my partner picks up a lot of the household slack because I am working a lot.
John is the clear alpha energetically speaking with me in a close second where the kids and dogs are concerned.
Sorry to be pedantic but do you mean family, your biological family, or ‘family’ in the broad sense of the word as it applies to our situations at the mo’ (ie. partners, pals, pets, friends, mould under the cupboard etc)?
I have a very, very yin chart. My husband has a lot of yin but he is also alpha in a non-overt way. We are in very traditional roles, by my conscious choice and request, and it is what makes me happiest.
Hmmm…. My husband and I are both strong personalities. But for the most part I do the maternal cooking,cleaning, grocery shopping, stuff along with taking care of the kids, taking them where they need to be, and he does the “manly stuff” garbage, shoveling,yardwork. But in a lot of ways we are two independent people under one roof. Every thing is seperate and we both work all our bills are seperate etc. I am not sure how I feel about it though,lol. I am usually struggling with it. He is an only child and a “bit”, I use that term loosely selfish, I am an oldest and I almost give everything away,lol.
His sun is in aries 0 degrees conjunct jupiter in the 7th house in opposition to pluto. His moon is in cancer conjunt saturn in the 11th house. My gemini sun is in the 12th house and my moon in aquarius is in the 9th involved in two yods, with cancer venus, virgo pluto,and virgo uranus.
Hard to say. We’re trying to “establish” roles now; we just got off the phone and all he talked about was motorcycles and drag races, and I talked about breastfeeding and decorating. Other times, he’s vacuuming, knows more about fashion than I do, and chopping vegetables. So it shifts. I think I have a pretty yang chart and it’ll come out around men when they act more feminine, but the minute they’re all boy, I’m all girl. Shifty…
I’m Sun/Moon Aquarius and Husband (B) is Sun/Venus/Mars Pisces. Our friend who introduced us still jokes that my husband is the girl in the relationship.
B does the cooking and stays home writing, while I act like a loud mouth and trudge off to work (school at the moment). It looks like I’m calling all the shots (insider secret: not ALL the shots).
It’s tough for me to see if this is about our yin and yang charts or if it’s cultural conditioning. My mom was a housewife while dad worked, and B’s mom is very female while dad is very male. We’re both self described as being towards the low end of our respective gender spectrums. He definitely knows how to dress better than I do, but you can chalk that up to him being European and me being a Seattlite Aquarian (fashion doom).
In the marriage, I held both roles. Male in being the Alpha, the one that got things done and made them happen.
This new relationship – it’s head turning. I’m having to relearn patterns, because he is definitely the male and it’s damned tough to step aside but it’s really, really, nice to be treated like a woman. A lady, even – can you believe that shit? LOL!
uhm, not in the family i grew up in anyway. which i guess goes to show all the yang in my luminaries…
where i’m going… i dunno… i’m dating someone who tends to intimidate a lot of men around him… it’s a strange dynamic for me to be in the middle of. not used to feeling quite so much like a girl…
I fail at gender in my family, both sides. My upbringing was very 1950′s stereotypical, but I’m not manly enough OR feminine enough.
As for “family formed as an adult,” I haven’t done it, so.
our roles are pretty sterotypical in my marraiage. and i’m always trying to feed the man, i swear! when the kids were small and we both worked FT, we split more of the chores. but now the kids are grown and i work at home, i pick up all the household tasks and keep everything smooth at home. he goes out to work, opens jars, and carries heavy stuff. LOL.
i am not sure about yin/yang of our charts. we’re both pretty mutable, so i’m thinking that’s yin-ish. but yin or no, he’s got that testosterone thing going and i have the estrogen thing going. and it works for us both.
Can anyone explain to me what is a yin or yang chart? Aside from that, we also have pretty defined male/female roles here. My husband is the breadwinner – we have a child with special needs, and I have only been able to work part-time, because I need to take care of her. We are fortunate that he has a good job (tenured teacher), not rolling in money, but his job is protected, and we have pretty good health benefits. Our financial life would be a lot easier if I made more money – maybe that will be possible one day soon. My husband is sort of a paradox – definitely a man’s man, (coaches sports, etc.), but he does all the cooking (I suck at it), and he is a classical guitarist. I have no idea if I am “feminine” (if being feminine means being passive, than hell no, I am not). But physically, I could never pass for a man, I don’t care what costume you put on me, way too many curves going on, lol.
I wanted to ask about yin/yang charts too if anyone can help? I know which signs are yin and which yang but which planets do you count when working out the balance in the chart and do you add asc/desc and mc/ic. Apologies if this is an intrusion.
Bella – ask on the bulletin board so this does not get lost. I am swamped right now but will get to it eventually if someone does not beat me to it. If you post this here, it will get lost in the flood of stuff I write
Ok!
Oh geez..I was raised in a traditional Italian/Greek family. Women cook ,clean, have babies, we become teacher or nurses. the men have to change oil, repair roofs, lift heavy objects for us, and accompany the wife to church on most Sundays even if they hate to.
Actually, though I arched in the 1970′s for women’s rights, I have found the traditional female role really comfortable for me.I married a guy from a similar background whose family had similar women/men “rules” and well, most of us have actually stayed happily married most of our lives!! I became a nurse. I had the babies,i love to cook.
I hate to change oil.
Most of my divorced friends feel I am a “doormat” because I make my husband’s lunch to pack, I cook the dinner, I got up with the babies in the middle of the night. They also think I should be more “assertive’ and “actualized” and be able to change tires, repair plumbing, and lay tile. (I don’t find that stuff particularly actualizing..)
Now as a NURSE I can thread a slim catheter through your heart if I have to, to save your life. So I am not INCOMPETENT.
I just hate plumbing and I love cooking.
I like APHA MEN and I enjoy being a softer sorta gal.
So,I’m happily female, in a traditional role that feels just right for me.
Of course, those women on your blog who are happier in the assertive yang role–more power to ‘em. Room for all of us.
I’m just way happy THIS way ! (Mars in Cancer, Venus in Taurus hubby is Mars in Capricorn..) but for us it’s cultural too..
Get A Consultation
Schedule a consultation by phone
Schedule a consultation by email
Read what clients have said about usThanks, we look forward to working with you! :-) - Elsa P
Order a Report
Order a Transit Report
Order a Solar Return Report
Order a Relationship Composite Report
Order both relationship reports, save 10%
Order a Lunar Return ReportHeads Up from Elsa P!
Sign up below to get my free weekly email newsletter covering the astrology of the next week. I send this email out every Thursday.
Recent Blog Comments
- Cyress723: I am just coming out of the worst 5 years of my life, I was help...
- dorchid: Yes! And I did it by doing exactly what you state here. Fascinat...
- dorchid: I voted Jupiter. Saturn seems obvious but I think the story-tell...
- Elsa: Thanks, Angie. :)
- music4am: I agree with Michele, so I didn't vote either ;). There are have...
- Michele: I see them all at play, in some way or another, depending on the...
- Josi: Yes, by explaining things to myself much like you described. I l...
Recent Board Posts
Hmmmm interesting,
My husband is quite feminine if I have to say so – although with Mars in aries he occasionally has that rush of aggressiveness and then I am putty in his hands.
As for roles – they are blurred – we have been through a lot in our past relationships and that has helped us both realise the support that is required within a relationship – so we are a team – and work together. It sometimes becomes unbalanced though when – as a woman I will pick up the slack when things haven’t been done subconsciously – that is, until the awareness kicks in – at this point I change my approach and pull back – this works about 70 percent of the time.
When it doesn’t though – I kick his ass!….lol