“P, did you tell them about your ugly man today on your blog?”

“No! No, I didn’t tell them that.”

“Well you oughta because I’m ugly as sin. I look like Black Jacque Shellac!”

“Who’s that?”

“You don’t know, Black Jack Shellac? (no TV, see). He was on Bugs Bunny… look him up. Google him.”

I followed his instruction. “You don’t look like Black Jacque Shellac! You’re crazy.”

“I do look like him and you should tell your blog.”

“I will not tell my blog and they won’t believe me anyway. They will just think I am trying to keep them away from you.” I stopped to think a second. “Hey! I bet you do that. Do you? What do you tell people I look like?”

“Oh, well I tell them you look like Mad Madam Mim,” he said.

“Who is she?”

“Better google her too, P.”

I complied. “Oh my God, she’s a hag!” I said.

“I’m not a haaaaaaaaaaaag!’ he said in my voice