‘Well, P you know no one ever says anything to me. You think I let someone get away with saying some shit to me? Nobody has ever said any shit to me and gotten away with it in my life.”

I snickered. “Yeah, I know, I know.”

‘And then you come along and do nothing but say shit to me! I can’t believe the shit you say to me,” he said.

“Yeah, well either can I because I can’t even remember most of it. As far as I know, I’m just talkin’” (swearing below the break)

“You’re talkin’ some shit, you mean. P, nobody…. Not one motherfucker in this world has gotten away with saying even one iota of what you have said to me. They’d be scared to death but you? Not youuuuuuuuuu. You get right in my face too. P, I’m telling you, you have said enough shit to me, I’d have kicked your ass 100 times by now. 200 times I’ve have knocked the shit right out of you but instead I just leave the room.”

I laughed for no reason I can name. “I guess I’m lucky,” I said.

“No, you’re not lucky. You are not lucky! I am just not ever going to hit you because one, you’re a girl and two, I’m in love with you. Yeah, I love you all right but believe me if you were a man your ass would be kicked to Kingdom come. I would stomp you into the ground but as it is, you’re not a man. No, you are my girlfriend P who I love to pieces so I just go in the other room and your ass stays unkicked.”

I roared.

pictured – Venus and Mars by Sidney Harold Meteyard. Oil on canvas