This story suits the day’s energy just right…

I was 27, living alone in the middle of nowhere in a house on two acres. It was my Saturn return coming in… time to define myself as an adult despite pressure from parents, society or other authority figures. It was Easter Sunday and it was raining.

Sunday was my day off so I was glad. I worked hard for Frito Lay and I only got one day off each week. I was particularly relieved on this day because holidays increase business for potato chip salespeople and I’d been working at heightened level the two weeks prior to make the most of the opportunity.  I really needed a day off and better yet it was raining.

If you live in the desert, rain is precious. It’s an event and if you’re me you don’t sit inside and watch it fall.  You go out in be it. You stand in it or you drive in it but you definitely experience it because who knows when you’ll see it again? I decided to work in my garden.

I’d bought my house from a rock mason and he’d built a beautiful patio in back. It was surrounded by rock planters and with the ground soft from the rain, I decided to pull weeds.

Out back, I knelt down and it was muddy. There had been an extraordinary amount of rain overnight so it was remarkable. The sun was shining as the light rain fell on me and I was very aware of how pleasant it was. For one thing, I was glad it was raining on my day off. What luck!  I was enjoying the feel of the dirt in my hands when a jeep pulled up and parked in the drive. It was Dario.

I met Dario when I was 19 and he was about 26. He asked me on a date and I said no. He asked me again and I said no. He told me I didn’t know what I was missing and I still said no.

He asked me on a date when I was 20 and I said no. He asked me when I was 21 and I said no.  When I was 22, he left town. Too bad, because I liked Dario a lot.

But Dario was Italian and he looked so much like my brother I did not want to date him but still… I really did like Dario.

When I was 24, I moved to the middle of nowhere and when I was 25, Dario moved to the middle of nowhere.  We ran into each other and asked me on a date.

“No.”

“Elsa, come on.  We’re getting’ old already. Why won’t you go out with me?  You’re not married. You haven’t found anyone better and that’s because there is no one better for you. I’m your man.”

“No.  You look like my damned brother, Dario. How many times have I told you?  How am I supposed to go on a date with you? Forget it.”

“But Elsa, please.”

“No fuckin’ way. But if you want to go hang out, come on.  But if we go then I’m buying because it’s no date.”

And now I was 27, pulling weeds.  Seeing me squatted down in the mud, Dario got out of his jeep and approached.

“Elsa! What are you doing?”

“Huh? What does it look like? I’m pullin’ weeds for chrissakes.”

“Pullin’ weeds?’  he asked, shaking head. “What are you doing pulling weeds?”

“What do you mean, what am I doing pulling weeds? It’s been raining. The ground is soft.”

“But it’s Easter.”

“So?”
“Easter, Elsa. It’s Easter. You shouldn’t be pulling weeds on Easter. Plus it’s raining. Haven’t you noticed you’re getting wet?”

“Well yeah, Dario. I have noticed that. It’s on purpose isn’t it? Do you think I am out here pulling weeds in the rain because I want to be dry?”

“You don’t have to do that now,” he said.

“I want to do it now.”

“You want to pull weeds on Easter?  I came out here to see if you wanted to go to brunch with me.  So do you? I know you don’t have any family down here and either do I.”

“Brunch? No. Sorry. I’m not going anywhere today, Dario. I’m tired. I’ve been working all week. You know how hard I have to work.”

“But you’re not too tired to pull weeds?”

“Well, no. I like pulling weeds. Crap, Dario. You act like I’m weird.”

“You are weird.”

“Well fuck you. I’m not that weird. You’ve been begging for a date for how many years?”

“Almost 10.”

“So I’m not weird.”

“Okay, Elsa. Okay. Calm down. I’m not here to get you excited.” He rolled his eyes to imply I was excitable and I stared.

“So do you want to go to brunch?”

“I said no. I’m staying home.”

“Elsa, please. It’s Easter. Don’t you want to have Easter dinner?”

“What?” I asked, distracted. “No, I don’t guess I do.”

“Elsa, Elsa, Elsa. You can’t do this. You have to eat dinner on Easter.”

“What?”

“We’re Italian,” he said emphatically.

“Yeah?”

“So Italians eat dinner on Easter. You just can’t say no to me.”

I stood up in my shorts and my legs were muddy. So were my hand, so I brushed my hair out of my face with the top of my forearm. “Dario, I’m not going, okay? Now I’m getting pissed. You’re getting me pissed off at you.”

“Elsa, I can’t let you do this. You have to come to brunch with me.  Now please. I’ll wait and you can get cleaned up. You’ll feel good once we get there.”

“I feel good now. Or at least I did until you got here to bug the living shit out of me. Now once and for all I’m not going, okay?”

“Not okay!  All Italians eat Easter dinner.  You can’t be Italian and not celebrate Easter.”

I looked at him as if he was crazy because as far as I was concerned, he was crazy. “That’s bullshit. Because who am I? Am I Italian?”

“Well yeah you’re Italian. That’s why I like you so much.”

“And that’s why I like you so much. So you go be Italian and eat your dinner and I am going to pull these weeds.  And I don’t want to talk anymore because the rain is going to stop and… well look. I’m sorry. I just don’t want to go, okay? I just don’t. Can’t you see that?”

“You rather pull weeds in the rain? You’re filthy. Elsa. You are a beautiful woman and you’re covered in mud.  Do you know that?”

I stared daggers.

“And you like this better than eating ham? I’m makin’ you an offer here,” he said.

I laughed.  “Goodbye, Dario. I don’t even like ham.”

“Whaaat? Everyone likes ham. You do so like ham.”

I stared.

“You sure?’

“I’m sure. Look. Thanks. Thanks for thinking of me and I hope you still think I’m Italian but… well I’m just going to stay home today.”

He shook his head and went back to his jeep. He waved before he pulled away and I thought, “Good ol’ Dario. I sure like that guy.”

Pretty sure Dario was a Pisces.  Very sure I have Jupiter in aspect to Uranus.