Reality (who knows her Italians) said regarding Dario:

“Elsa sounds like the man wanted you to cook him dinner… LOL”

That Dario wanted me to do anything he could think of with him.  He used to beg me to go to the gym with him. This was before I went to the gym.

“I don’t need a gym, Dario, I’m the Frito Girl! Why would I want top go to a gym. I am not a muscly man!”

“Now, Elsa there are girls there too. There are women who like to work out… they have aerobics classes,” he added. This was back when they were new and a fad.

“I realize it’s become popular to aerobicize,” I said, “however I don’t have to do it because of my job. You people PAY to work out where as I get paid and my work out is free. Get a job like mine you won’t need a gym,” I boasted.

“There’s just no talkin’ to you, Elsa. Could you just come to the gym with me just one time. I really think you’d like it.”

“Why? Why would I do that, so people think I am your girlfriend? Damn you, Dario, I told you a million times I am not going out with you and it means I am not going out with you!”

I did go to lunch with him once when I was about 20 on a THIS NOT A DATE thing. He wanted me to eat Peking Duck with him… I said, NO of course. I was from the desert. “PEKING WHAT? You want me to eat whaaaaaaaaaaat? What the fuck is a Peking Duck? Is it different from a park duck?” 

“A park duck?”

“A duck in the park! A duck you feed at the park???”

But I did go with him to that one lunch and sure enough he tried to act like it was a date. He sat across from me and begged it be a date the whole time we ate…

“Why are you looking at me like that, Dario?”

“Because you’re so beautiful,” he said.

“Oh for Godsakes, I am not! What the hell is the matter with you anyway? You promised me this was not a date so stop acting like it is!”

“Well it could be a date.  Would it be so bad if it were a date?” he asked with his eyes all blissed out and dreamy.

“Dario, I told you. I like you but you look like my brother and I have no romantic interest in you – NONE.”

“He must be good looking then.”

“People seem to think so. Yes, he has to beat women off with a stick and you must have the same problem so why do you bother me? Don’t bother me about dating you, because you know it makes me mad.”

I can’t remember Dario’s last name because I forgot it on purpose.  We used to fight about that too come to think of it.  He said his name was as good as mine and used to put my name with his.  I could be Mrs. Dario blahblahblah!

“I have my own good name!! Yes you have a good name but it’s no better than mine!” I said. “Why would I trade my name for yours when it’s no better than mine? Why would I do that, Dario?” I asked getting up in his face. I’d have been 19 – completely wild.

“Mine has an i on the end of it!”

“SO WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My name had an i on it but they dropped it when they came here. I’ve still got 2 z’s and as for as I am concerned that cancels out your i. You have… ss’es! Ss’es are not as good as zz’s, everyone knows that!”

“Elsa, you can’t be a real Italian unless you have an vowel on the end of your name and you don’t. But if you marry me, I can fix that for you…”

See? Yet another bastard going to fix me!!!

Dario had been in the Marines and I do have his picture. Yeah, I have pictures of EVERYBODY… and that includes Dario who really did have a good name actually.

Anyway, this is what happens when you have Uranus in the 7th house. People want to marry you all the time for no reason at all. Venus / Neptune, they think you are their dream woman.

I don’t think I was ever nice to Dario for even a minute but that was because he never stopped trying to date / marry me for even a minute so what the hell choice did I have? But I did like the guy.