It depends on the mother. But from my experience with this. We had a few mothers working who had sons in jail for many different activities..
And if you needed a day off you go to HR and explain why. I was the HR.

“Thats my son and if he would not have got mixed up with that hussy he never would have done this”

“Or it wasn’t my boys fault he was with other people and they pressured him to do this”

I never judged I never commented anything in there file except personal Day off on such and such approved ….

Most of the time these mothers were working two jobs too pay for there son’s lawyer..

Your child is always tour baby no matter what they do…And how else can it be ?

i got a phone call, couple years back. i was told my kid was in jail for “vehicular homicide,” pending a hearing. drug abuse history and driving a car I’d cosigned on.

it felt exactly like a sledgehammer slammed me in the chest. my knees went weak and felt sick.

i found myself praying she went to prison. not because I thought it would save her. i figured she was beyond saving–but it might keep someone else from getting hurt. and then i felt like a bad person for hoping that.

i later found out it wasn’t true.

goddess- I remember you talking about this before. It must have been extremely difficult! I am glad it wasn’t true. How are things on this front now?

randamandar-thanks. yes. we have been through some challenging parenting moments, i readily admit.

i’m on distant speaking terms with her currently, and she appears to be functioning at the moment, so i’m glad for that.

i don’t know if we’ll every be able to maintain much of a relationship with her. i hope maybe someday, but i’m not sure. i’m glad she’s not in full-scale blowup mode at least, though.

yeah, i’ve wondered about that kind of thing. like what the unabomber’s brother must have gone through.

only, i think it’s different, to be the mother.
i mean, how much would you be able to avoid blaming yourself, one way or another?

creepy.

thanks for the good vibes and hugs. they are heartily appreciated.

I know this discussion is long since over, but I feel compelled to chime in to defend at least some of these mothers. Not everyone tries to defend their offspring.

My son has had legal trouble and does not seem to be on the road to turning his life around. I have actually learned a lot about astrology in an attempt to understand this all. Do I love him? YES! Do I like him? NO!

I accept that he is where he is in life because of choices and decisions he has made. Transits and natal placements gave him choices to make – he was not destined to make poor choices.

You won’t seem me on TV saying how my kid got in with the “wrong crowd”. I have accepted that the choices he has made in his life justify his inclusion under the “wrong crowd” title.