Hmmm, I think it’s because people like to think that they’d be the exception to the “usual” rule. Probabilities don’t really deter me from things…you do something and let’s say 90% there’s an unfavorable result…that still means that 10% of the time there’s a favorable one… and you hope your part of that 10% LOL!

This may be an over-simplification but it is what came to mind when I read your post, Elsa:

My daughter was learning to walk when one afternoon she pulled herself up from the kitchen floor and attempted to reach out to balance herself using the side of the kitchen stove. I kept warning her not to touch it: hot, hot, I kept repeating. My girlfriend, mother of a three-year-old who had just dropped by for quick visit, laughed at me and told me to let her go, that Sara was just going to have to experience “hot” before she’d know what hot was. You can imagine that advice ran counter to my natural instinct to protect my daughter from hurting herself.

But in those few moments that afternoon long ago, a simple fact of life was perfectly illustrated. Sure enough, Sara learned quickly what hot was and was all the better for it.

Would you agree that so often in life, we really do have to experience a thing for ourselves if we are to learn/gain anything from it. And, how many times do some of us have to touch that stove before we know that hot will burn?

My little daughter (now a fine, young woman) learned quickly. Still does. I can’t say that I always do.

I learn better from trial and error, and by “doing it” — it isn’t really that I think I know best & screw everyone else.

I’m with AB on this one. My regrets are usually based on “why did I not do the thing my gut told me to?”

Good Question. It’s like we can see it when we can see it.”

I’m someone who ALWAYS prefers to ‘pay for help’ rather than impose on my friends.

I earn my keep by being paid to advise and I like the ‘clean-ness’ if that’s such a word of paying someone for advice. That doesn’t mean you won’t have to work with my defendedness during the process but it does mean I have invested ALOT in the process besides my time and your fondness for me so I’m motivated to learn.

Plus I never have to hear at a really low minute from my friend “for crying out loud, didn’t we all tell you that guy was a total loser?”

I will say if I do not follow the suggestion its always a case of ‘I CAN’T” (meaning MY ability) reather than DON’T (I know better) or WON’T (I’m too willful).

That means I hear the suggestion but probably simply don’t have the ability or maybe haven’t done the requisite footwork that allows me to put the good direction I’ve received into practice.

Maybe i have another step to take or another painful lesson in front of me before I’m
I ready to ‘do the right thing’ for myself.

I’m thinking about doing something really stupid right now. I’m on the outside looking in at my intention. I definitely don’t think I know better than the others. I’m just hope I can do better for myself. That’s the question.

Huh

I have to learn it for myself. I have to touch the hot stove, and get burned, to understand it.

That sucks, let me tell you. It would be so much easier to listen to advice from other people and actually take it. But then I wouldn’t learn what I’m supposed to learn.